The Count of Monte Antivo
by Isabella Monroe
Summary: This is the Ferelden story of the Count of Monte Cristo which will be loosely based on both the movie and the book. It's a dark tale, but fear not this romantic at heart writer loves a happy ending. It will mostly be told through Alistair's POV.
1. Chapter 1 Obession

**The idea for this story came to after I recently watched The Count of Monte Cristo. This Ferelden story is loosely based on both the movie and the book. Anyone who has read the book or seen the movie knows that this story is kind of dark. There will be times that this version will also be dark and have some angst, but take heart in the fact that I am a romantic and I love a happy ending. The Prologue is going to deal with the seduction of a young girl's mind. If that is something you can't handle you may want to skip this chapter. **

**Prologue **

"I will have you, yes I will have you

I will find a way and I will have you

Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly

I will collect you and capture you

You are an obsession, you're my obsession"

_Obsession by Animotion_

Amanda Cousland sat beside her father and brother at the Landsmeet as she forced herself to focus as Bann Sighard droned on about this year's poor crop harvest. Growing up as the youngest Cousland she had been exposed to court life since she was a child. However she had only recently come of age and this was the first Landsmeet that her Father had allowed her to attend. Her parents had trained her in court politics and now they felt it was time for her to apply that education. So she sat there and willed herself to concentrate on the Bann's report, but the monotone sound of the man's voice was lulling her to sleep. Even King Calian looked bored to death as he fidgeted with the sleeve on his tunic.

Amanda casually glanced around the room and saw Thomas Howell also trying to remain focused on the Bann's report. He glanced over at her and she smiled at him; he winked back at her as gesture of mutual bored solidarity. She looked over Thomas' shoulder and noticed Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir staring at her. The way that he looked at her made her uncomfortable and she shifted in her seat as she tried to refocus on the Bann's report. After a few moments she glanced back over her shoulder and Teyrn Mac Tir was still watching her and again she shifted uncomfortable.

Fergus leaned over and whispered, "Jinx, what is the matter with you? I have never seen you so restless?" Jinx was the nickname that Fergus had given her when she was eight after she attended the tournament that Fergus was participating in and he lost every event he was in. On the way home he glowered at her. "You have to be the worst good luck charm ever. You're more of a Jinx," he grumbled. The nickname caught on and before long everyone that was close to her was calling her Jinx.

"Teyrn Mac Tir has been staring at me throughout the entire meeting and he is looking at me like he knows what I look like without my small clothes on," Amanda murmured.

Fergus whipped his head around and glared at Loghain. A knowing smirk crept across the Teyrn's face as he slowly turned his attention back to meeting. "If he bothers you at all throughout our stay in Denerim you let either Father or I know. You understand?"

Amanda nodded. Fergus' face remained stern and hard throughout the rest of the meeting. She had no idea what was going on, but she knew something had her usually calm brother very uptight.

When the Landsmeet broke for lunch Amanda meet Thomas outside the main hall. "Thank the Maker they broke for lunch when they did. I thought my stomach was about to devour it's self," Thomas mused as the two them headed out to the Royal Garden to relax in the sun while they ate their lunch.

"That wasn't my problem, I just was trying to figure out if Bann Sighard was blaming the Chantry, the Throne or Orlais for the bad weather that caused his crops to fail," Amanda replied.

Thomas laughed, "I think it was all three." They selected a spot under a shady maple tree and sat down in the shade. Thomas pulled out two sandwiches, two pieces of cake and an apple from his backpack.

Amanda stared wide eyed at the buffet of food he displayed before him. "Aaah, I think Cook short changed you this morning," she said sarcastically.

"Hey, I'm a growing boy," Thomas replied.

"You keep eating like that you'll be growing alright," she said dryly as she pulled out her cheese, crackers and fruit.

"Hey why was your brother glowering at me during the meeting? You didn't tell him that I kissed at the Fall Harvest Festival did you?"

"What? Of course not; if I had you would be missing a couple of your teeth," Amanda said with grin.

"Well, then why was he glowering at me?"

"He wasn't 'glowering' at you it was Teyrn Loghain he was glaring at. That man was staring at me all morning. The way he looked at me….it made me very uncomfortable," Amanda replied.

Amanda saw Thomas' jaw clinch as he let out a snort. "What was that for?" She asked.

"Nothing," Thomas replied dryly.

"Oh come on, Thomas, it's not nothing. I can tell you're aggravated," Amanda pleaded.

"I overheard a conversation between my father and Teyrn Loghain. Loghain said that now that you are of age he was going to ask your father for permission to court you," Thomas said.

"WHAT? Is that man crazy? He is my father's age…maybe older. That's just gross," Amanda retorted as she scrunched her face in disgust and then giggled, "I couldn't imagine having a man the age of my Father kissing me. I would rather kiss a nug's arse than kiss Teyrn Loghain."

Thomas laughed, "A nug's arse, huh? I think I could arrange that. We could charge admission. I'm sure people would pay a pretty sovereign to watch the daughter of Bryce Cousland kiss the arse of nug."

Amanda ignored him and asked, "So what did your father say?"

"What did my father say about you kissing a nug's arse? I don't think he cares one way or another, really?" Thomas replied dryly.

Amanda punched him in the arm. "Ouch, Jinx, that hurt. You need to remember to punch like a girl," Thomas said as he rubbed his arm.

"You're avoiding, Thomas! What did your dad say to Loghain about courting me?" Amanda asked.

"He pretty much told Loghain that darkspawn would have to fly out of Andraste's arse before Bryce Cousland would let Loghain court his daughter," Thomas said.

Amanda fell on the ground laughing. "I would have loved to seen the look on Loghain's face when your dad told him that."

"I couldn't see his face, but by his tone he was not happy about it all," Thomas replied.

The tower bell rang out that the lunch break was over and that the Landsmeet would resume in fifteen minutes. Amanda and Thomas slipped in the side entrance of the palace. They were about to round the corner when she heard the raised voice of Fergus. She motioned for Thomas to be quiet and both of them pressed against the wall.

"Listen here you dirty old man, if I ever catch you leering at my sister again…"

"Fergus, my boy, I appreciate you defending your sister so valiantly, but I am sure that this is just a simple misunderstanding that we can clear up here. Right, Loghain?" Bryce asked diplomatically.

"You are correct, Bryce. This is a simple miss understanding. I was not ogling your sister, Fergus. I was just admiring what a lovely young woman she has become. I was going to approach you, Bryce under more pleasant circumstances and request your permission to formally court Amanda," Loghain replied.

"What? You have to be at least as old as my father…if not older," Fergus exclaimed in outrage. Amanda had to chuckle that her brother had said the exact same thing she did.

"Loghain, what I think my son is trying to express is that there has to be someone closer to your age that would be more suitable. Amanda is a young vivacious girl. I would think that the two of you would have little in common," Bryce replied.

"Bryce, you and I both know that as nobles we don't marry for romantic notions such as love. We marry because it will further the two families. The daughter of a Teyrn marrying a Teyrn would create a dynasty. There are girls younger than Amanda that are either betrothed or already married," Loghain replied coolly.

"Well, that maybe how it's done in most noble families, but not in mine. I married the woman that I loved and I have given my children the freedom to marry whomever they choose. I will not force them to marry someone they don't love just because it will further secure my status in Ferelden. As for courting Amanda, she is of age so you have my permission to make your intentions known to her, but if she turns you down I ask that you respect her decision and pursue this no further," Bryce replied.

"Thank you, Bryce. I appreciate your candor and I will respect your wishes," Loghain said as he turned on his heels and head in the opposite direction.

"The nerve of that man," Fergus said exasperated.

"Fergus, you and I both know that nothing will come of this. The chances of a Hurlock courting Amanda are greater than her consenting to let Loghain court her. You my dear boy need to learn to reign in your emotions better so that your enemy can't read your next move all of your face," Bryce said as the two of them headed for the main hall.

Amanda looked at Thomas dumbfounded as he shrugged his shoulders, "See, I told you so."

Amanda had managed to avoid Loghain the rest of week, but on her last night in Denerim at the Landsmeet Ball he cornered her while she was getting a drink from the punch bowl.

"So Lady Cousland, did you enjoy your first Landsmeet?" Loghain asked from behind her.

Amanda spun around and was only inches from the Teyrn's face. Loghain did not have the typical handsome good looks like King Calian, but there was a ruggedness about him that made his features very attractive. She took a step back and said, "Yes, it was very interesting."

"And what exactly did you find interesting about?" Loghain asked.

"I thought that it was fascinating to watch all of these nobles that live throughout Ferelden come together and work towards the common goal of strengthening and unifying our country," Amanda replied.

"That is a very idealistic view of this week's events, but then again you are still very young," the Teyrn replied.

Amanda narrowed her eyes, "Don't think of me as some naïve child that does not know that each nobleman has came here with their own private agenda that would further their own regions and status among the other nobles, but I also believe that they understand that a strong Ferelden also makes them strong."

A slow smile spread across the Teyrn's face, "Touché! Your father has taught you well, my Lady."

The band began to play again and several nobles moved out onto the dance floor. "Would you do me the honor of dance?" Loghain asked.

"Of course, Your Grace," Amanda replied.

Loghain took her hand and led her out onto the dance floor. With one arm he pulled her close to his chest as he rested his other hand on the small of her back. She could feel the hard contours of this man's chest and the strength in his arms as he held her tightly to him. He did not feel like the teenage boys that she had danced with in the past. He pressed into her letting her know that he was a man and far cry the adolescent boys that she was use to dancing with. She heard her breath hitch and saw the knowing grin on the man's face widen.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Fergus' jaw tighten as he began to make his way toward them, but her father stepped in and whispered something in his ear. Her brother tightened his lips, but backed away and found a seat at the edge of the dance floor. He glared at Loghain as he watched the Teyrn guide her around the floor.

"Lady Cousland, it has been several years since last time I saw you. I must say, you have grown up and become such a beautiful young lady," the Teyrn stated. "Although, I am sure you hear that all the time."

"Thank you, Your Grace," Amanda replied.

"Please call me Loghain," he interjected.

Amanda smiled politely, "Thank you, Loghain."

"I have watched you closely this past week and you have an air of maturity and grace that far exceeds someone your age, yet you have maintained your lively, spirited nature. I find that compelling and refreshing," Loghain said.

"You are very kind, my Lord," Amanda said.

He smiled warmly at her. "I find your beauty breathtaking and your vivacious spirit intoxicating, Amanda. I am drawn to you like I have been drawn to no other. You have awaken something in me, my Lady that I thought died along with my wife a long time ago."

Amanda had always considered the Teyrn a hard, cold man, but he was now exposing a side of himself that she had never believed existed. His words were touching.

"I don't know how to respond to that, my Lord," Amanda muttered.

"You don't need to respond. I just ask that you hear me out," Loghain replied.

Amanda nodded. Loghain leaned into her and whispered in her ear, "I know that you have only recently come of age, but I would like your permission to court you over the next two years so that you can get to know me. At the end of the two year courtship I would like for us to become betrothed to each other."

Amanda tried to pull away, but Loghain held her tightly against his chest. She looked up at him in shock. "Your Grace…"

"Loghain," the Teyrn interjected.

Amanda drew in a deep breath, "Loghain, I am honored that you would even consider me as someone you would want to marry. However as you said I have only recently come of age, I am sure one day I will want to wed, but as of yet that is something that I haven't given much thought to."

"Surely, a girl of your age and beauty has dozens of suitors," Loghain replied.

"Yes, but none of them interest me. They all seem very immature; no one I could see spending the rest of my life with," Amanda responded.

"That is because they are mere boys. Someone as…developed as you, needs a man not a boy," Loghain countered as he leaned into her again. She could feel his manhood as his growing desire for her pressed into her thigh and his eyes flared with hunger. Apart of her was disgusted by his growing need, but another part of her took delight in the fact that she had this affect on this powerful man without really even trying and she felt something stir in the pit of her stomach.

She felt her mouth go dry as she tried to speak and she heard the quiver in her voice, "I want to have what my parents have. They love each other deeply. Their marriage is built on love and respect. They are partners in all things. When I marry it will because I have found that same type of love and respect in my partner."

"And you don't think you could find that with me?" Loghain asked.

"I don't know. I don't even know you," Amanda replied.

"Exactly, so why don't you give me the chance to prove to who I am," Loghain countered as he spun her around, drew her in and then dipped her. He brought her back up and his face was inches from hers. She could feel his warm breath on her face and her head was spinning slightly.

Amanda's eye brow's furrowed as she tried to focus on him. "Can I be blunt?" She asked.

Loghain laughed, "Yes, please do. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You have to be as old as my father. You have a daughter older than me. What could the two of us possibly have in common?" Amanda demanded.

"We will never know what we have in common if you don't give us the chance to explore that," Loghain countered. He looked down into her exquisite green eyes as he brushed a stray hair away. Amanda felt her heart begin to pound at his touch. His lips were inches from hers as he breathlessly whispered, "Amanda, you are a priceless jewel that should be treasured and I know that I can give you what you need and desire more than those little boys that you heartlessly flirt with. You need a man to treasure you. You need a man to hold you the way you were meant to be held. You need a man that knows how to kiss you till your thighs quiver. You need a man not a boy. All I ask is that you give me a chance to prove my worth to you. If after two years you don't feel that we could have what your parents have then I will walk away."

She felt her face flush with deep desire that she had never experienced before and there as deep stirring between her thighs. She had never had a boy or man talk to her with such confidence and self assurance and invoke such a primal response in her body. She had never wanted to feel the touch of another more then she wanted him to touch her right now. Her body ached to know what it would feel like to have this man's hands and lips explore and caress her. She felt her head begin to spin and her knees became weak.

Loghain felt her legs start to give out on her and he gripped her firmly around the waist as he pressed into her. "You want me, Amanda even if you can't admit it, your body is responding to your desire for me. I can quench that desire for you. I can make you feel things that you never even dreamed were possible. I will be good for you, my dear and I will be good to you. Give me a chance to prove my worth to you," Loghain sighed into her ear.

Amanda didn't trust her voice so she just nodded her approval. Loghain smiled, "Good, I will let your Father know." He lead her off the dance floor and out onto the balcony where he found a table for her to sit at. "Let me get you something to drink, you are looking flushed, my Sweet. I will be right back," Loghain said as he headed back into the main hall.

As he made his way out the main hall where the drink station was when Fergus cornered him. "I don't know what game you are playing, Loghain, but I will not let you use my sister to further your own whims and desires."

"Use your sister, my dear boy; I have no desire to use your sister. Your sister is a trophy to be won. I have a deep desire to marry her and I intend on fulfilling that desire," Loghain said smugly.

"She barely of age!" Fergus exclaimed.

"That is old enough for a noble's daughter to marry," Loghain replied.

"But why would you want to be with someone so much younger then you?" Fergus asked.

A sly grin spread across the Teyrn's face, "Girls that are of Amanda's age…they are…so sweet…so tender…sooo much easier to seduce and you can break them in just the way you want them."

Loghain never saw the punch coming. He felt Fergus' fist connect with his chin and then his head snap back. The force caused him to stagger back a little, but he remained on his feet. He rubbed the spot where the punch had landed as he chuckled, "Nice left hook."

"You sick, bastard. Amanda would never marry someone like you. She will see you for the slimy asshole you are. So stay away from my sister," Fergus threatened.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Fergus. Your sister gave me permission to court her. You'll be seeing a lot more of me over the two years. It seems the beautiful Lady Cousland desires a real man in her life not little boys that have been following her around like lost puppy dogs. Don't worry, Fergus I promise to break her in gently," Loghain sneered as he quickly moved back into the ballroom before Fergus could throw another punch.

xxXxx

Over the next two years Loghain had become a regular visitor to Highever Castle. He actually enjoyed the time that he spent with Amanda; much more than he ever thought he would. She had a brilliant strategic mind and the two of them would spend hours studing old battlefield maps as she would explain what she thought the generals did right and where they made the mistakes that had eventually lead to their downfalls. She had incredible natural military insight.

He also sparred with her in the ring on numerous occasions and she was a force to be reckoned with; given time and more training her skills would rival even the most experienced solider. They also spent time horseback riding in the fields and forests that surrounded Highever. She was so full of life and so charismatic that people were naturally drawn to her – he was drawn to her.

When he was away from her all he could do was think of her and being with her again. She haunted his thoughts and taunted his dreams with her girlish laugh, her sinfully wicked sense of humor and her taut hungry body that yearned for his touch. After countless visit to Highever he came to the realization that that not only did he want her to be his wife because it would unity two great families and create a Ferelden dynasty, but to his shock realized that he had fallen in love with Amanda. That realization disturbed and worried him. Emotions clouded ones judgment and he couldn't afford to lose his focus when he was so close to his objective.

On his visits to Highever, Fergus had made it his mission to make sure that he was never alone with Amanda and when Loghain would finally find a quiet corner to feed his growing hunger for her, Fergus would always turn up like a stone in one's shoe or he would send servants to casually check in on Amanda. However, there were times when he had managed to steal a few private moments alone with her and it was the memories of those heated moments that he would relive when he was alone again back at Gwaren. He loved the way her soft body molded perfectly to his and the feel of her soft swollen lips pressed against his. During those moments she was always so eager to have him explore her body with his hands, lips and tongue. It was easy; sometimes too easy to bend her to his whims and desires, but she was an eager student and he was a willing tutor. He taught her how to give pleasure, how to receive pleasure, how to make a man beg for mercy and how to have a man give her the gratification that her body yearned for. It never took him long to have her hormonally saturated body moaning and begging him to take her, to bury himself in her, but he never did. Oh he wanted to and when alone he fantasized about the first time he would claim her as his, but he wanted her need and desire for him strung so tight that then when he did propose to her she would say yes out of sheer physical need and hunger.

However, along with his emotional need for her, his physical need for her had also grown and he was beginning to lose the tight control that he had on his desire for her. One morning shortly before her birthday she flitted past him in her Dalish leather armor as she made her way out to the sparring ring; the armor clung tightly to her exquisite frame and revealed her long, lean, toned legs. He imagined her legs wrapped tightly around his waist drawing him deep inside her as he thrust harder and harder; and his need to watch her as sweet ecstasy finally shook her to her core as she cried out his name overwhelmed him and broke his resolve.

He was supposed to spend the day hunting with Bryce and Fergus, but after an hour he feigned an ankle sprain. He insisted that Bryce and Fergus continue their outing and he headed back to the castle on horseback. It didn't take him long to find Amanda in the pasture behind the castle practicing with her bow. He crept up behind her and pulled her into his arms.

She giggled at his surprise appearance and asked him why he was back from the hunt so early. He nibbled at her ear as he whispered that his need for her was too great to keep him away from her the entire day. He maneuvered her behind a bolder out of eyesight from anyone looking into the field from the castle. He spread out his hunting cape on the grass and laid her upon it. He quickly pulled off her armor and explored every inch of her lovely body with his hands and tongue. He pinched and sucked her creamy taut breasts until her body was trembling with desire and then for the first time ever he plunged his fingers deep into her. She cried out in pain, but as his finger moved in and out and caressed her inner most parts her cries of pain became cries of pleasure as his thumb stroked her sweet center.

By the Maker, she was so incredible tight and warm. He imagined her heat and tightness enveloping him and he wanted to bury himself deep within her, but he knew that was not the way to tame this wild filly so he remained in control and took pleasure in her pleasure. She came on his fingers and hand with such force it rocked him to his core.

She began to remove his clothes and he desperately wanted to feel her sweet mouth wrapped around him when they heard Fergus' voice calling her name. Damn that man and his uncanny timing. They quickly got dressed and made their way back to the castle. Completely frustrated he excused himself, went to his room and relieved the pressure that had built up in him with one hand and with the scent of her still on the other hand he relived the sight of her beauty raptured in sheer bliss.

He was so close to having her and making her his. She had never said that she loved him, but he knew that she did. He had treated her well, said all the things that young girls wanted to hear, lavished gifts on her and gave her pleasure unlike anything she had ever experienced before. He had her where he wanted her and tonight he would propose and he knew without a doubt she would say yes.

After dinner, with Bryce's permission, he led Amanda out to the castle gardens for a walk. He found a bench that was lit by the moonlight and he gestured for her to sit down. He sat beside her and took her hands in his. "Amanda, I have enjoyed the time that we have spent together these past two years."

She smiled at him, "I have to, Loghain."

"Good, I think we have a lot in common, we have fun together, we have learned a lot from each other and we have both given and received pleasure from one another. During our time together I have fallen in love with you, Amanda. There isn't anyone that I would want to spend the rest of my life with except for you. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

He heard her draw in a breath and he felt her hands shaking in his. She gazed up at him, smiled and said, "Loghain, I have come to care about you…deeply. I have enjoyed spending time with you and getting to know Loghain Mac Tir, the man and not just Loghain Mac Tir the hero, the general or the Teyrn," she paused and he saw by the moonlight that she was blushing. "And you have opened my eyes to almost all the pleasures that a man and woman can experience together. But all of those things aren't enough to have a successful marriage. I care about you, Loghain, but I don't love you. I want what my parents have and I won't settle for less. I'm sorry, but I can't marry you."

Loghain felt the anger flood his body, he wanted to lash out and hit her, but he refrained from doing so. He pulled her into his arms. He wanted her to feel his hard body against hers. "Amanda, you are wrong. I know you love me. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me and I can feel how your body responds when I hold you."

"Loghain, don't confuse lust with love. If you had asked me tonight to go to bed with you, my answer would have been yes without hesitation because I do want you. I want to know what it would be like for the two of us to give and receive pleasure freely without fear of being discovered. But I'm sorry, I don't love you and I can't marry you."

Loghain released her and leapt to his feet. He glared down at her, "Your wrong and you will regret this," he hissed as he spun around and stumped off. He rushed to his room, gathered his armor and weapons quickly. His servant, Rolf walked in, "Your Grace, are you leaving?"

"Yes, I have been called back to Gwaren. I have written a note to Teyrn Coulsand apologizing for my quick departure. Please send word to the horse master that I will need my horse saddled and brought up to the courtyard immediately. Tomorrow, gather our guards and servants and head back to Castle Gwaren," Loghain demanded.

"Yes, your Grace," Rolf replied as he quickly exited the room.

When Loghain entered the courtyard Fergus was standing there beside his horse. "I hear you are leaving us," Fergus said smugly.

"I have been called back to Gwaren," Loghain replied coldly as he walked over to Fergus and took the reins from him.

"Oh and here I thought it was because after Amanda turned down your proposal, you decided to run home with your tail between your legs," Fergus said evenly.

Loghain spun to face Fergus his face red with anger and hatred. "She went running to you with the news?"

A smirk spread across Fergus' face. "No she didn't come running to me. I saw her in the hall and she was upset. I convinced her to tell me what had happened. I told you, that she would never marry you. It may have taken her a while to see through your deceitful charms, but I knew you couldn't keep up the façade forever and she would realize that she could never have a future with the likes of you," Fergus hissed.

Loghain slid his foot into his stirrup, swung his leg over and mounted his horse. He looked down at Fergus with disgusted. "That bitch wasted two years of my life. Now my deepest regret is that I didn't take her virginity when she begged me to fuck her," and with that Loghain spun the horse around and rode out of the courtyard in a full gallop.

Loghain rode for the next four days straight, only taking small breaks for his horse to eat and rest. He rode into the courtyard at Castle Gwaren just as the sun was rising on the fifth day. He dropped his gear as he walked through the main doors and headed toward his study. He went to his desk, pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote, "DESTORY THEM!"

He sealed and called in one of his house servant. He handed the boy the note and said, "Have this delivered to Arl Rendon Howe immediately."


	2. Chapter 2 Breathe

**Chapter 1**

**Two years later**

**Denerim – Three days before the Landsmeet**

" 'Cause I can feel you breathe, it's washing over me  
Suddenly I'm melting into you, there's nothing left to prove  
Baby all we need is just to be, caught up in the touch  
The slow and steady rush, baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be  
I can feel you breathe, just breathe"

_Breathe - Faith Hill_

Eamon graciously greeted Amanda and Alistair as they walked into his study at his Denerim estate. "Aaah, Alistair and Amanda, I am so glad to see you. You made it here so quickly. I hope that your travels were uneventful," Eamon said.

Amanda smiled warmly as she greeted the Arl, "It's good to see you too, Eamon. For the most part our travels were uneventful. We had to have a come to the Maker talk with a couple of bandits regarding the error of their ways, but all in all it was an easy trip."

Eamon laughed. "So you let the bandit off with warning – it's good to have mercy, Amanda. You are definitely your father's daughter," Eamon said solemnly.

"Thank you, Eamon. That means a lot coming from someone who knew him," Amanda replied.

"I knew him, I respected him and I called him friend. He would be proud of you Amanda," Eamon said.

"Again thank you. Every decision I make I weigh against the decisions that I have seen him make and try to follow his example," Amanda responded.

"Your father has taught you well, but I know that he also taught you to follow your own instincts. You will need to rely on those in the days to come," Eamon said soberly. "Anyways, I am sorry that I wasn't here last night to greet you when you arrived, but I hope that your accommodations were adequate for you and your companions. I'm sorry that several of your companions had to share rooms," Eamon said.

"Thank you, my Lord, that is very gracious of you, but we don't want to be a bother to you or your staff," Alistair replied as he suppressed a smile as he recalled the look on Oghren's face when he found out he had to share a room with Shale.

"It is no trouble at all and you are always welcome at my Estate," Eamon said. He gestured toward a nearby table, "Would you like some tea?"

Both Amanda and Alistair nodded, "That would be lovely. Thank you Eamon," Amanda replied.

After Eamon had served them their tea, the three of them sat down at a table; Eamon clasped his hands in front of him as he let out a long sigh, "Well, we are in for battle, but one that I feel is winnable. If we can defeat Loghain here, in Denerim, then the rest of the nation will follow us. By calling the Landsmeet, I have struck the first blow and for the moment given us the advantage. Loghain will have no choice, but to oppose us and to confront us directly. Loghain is a man of action and he will strike at us. Are you ready for that, Amanda?" Eamon asked.

Alistair looked at her questioningly, but remained silent. Amanda nodded, "Yes, Eamon. I am ready to take the fight to him.

"I just wanted to make sure. The confrontation will not be pretty and given your history with the Teyrn I wanted to make sure that you are emotionally up to the challenge," Eamon said.

Alistair shifted uncomfortable in his chair. There obviously was a history here between Amanda and Loghain that she had never shared with him. Why would she keep that from him? For the past eighteen months he and Amanda had shared everything together. Why would she not tell him that she had some sort of history with the one man that he had sworn would die by his hand.

"I am fine, Eamon. Anything I once felt the Teyrn died when he allowed Howe to slaughter my family. He became a traitor when he deserted our King on the battlefield and allowed all of the Grey Wardens to die because he retreated. He must answer for those crimes," Amanda said coolly.

"I am glad to hear that. Only cool heads will prevail in the days ahead," Eamon replied.

There was a rapid knock at the door and a servant walked in. "Pardon the interruption, my Lord, but Teyrn Loghain has arrived at the Estate's main gate and insists on speaking with you," the elf said.

"Show him to the main hall," Eamon said. He turned to Amanda and Alistair, "I knew it was only a matter of time before he confronted us. I didn't think it would be this soon however. Are you ready?" Eamon asked.

Both Alistair and Amanda rose from their chairs. Amanda tilted her head to one side smile that wicked little smile of hers that drove him crazy. "As ready as I'm ever going to be. Let's get this over with," she said.

As they made their way into the main hall Alistair took her hand in his and squeezed it lightly for support. "It's going to be alright, my Love," he whispered in her ear. She smiled back at him and gave a slight nod.

Loghain was waiting for them as they walked into the main hall. Standing behind Loghain was his second in command, Ser Cauthrien who Alistair recognized from Ostagar; beside her was a tall lanky man with a crocked nose. Alistair had no idea who that man was, but he felt Amanda hesitate when she recognized who had accompanied Loghain. "Loghain, this is an honor that the Regent would find the time to visit me personally," Eamon said.

Alistair noticed Loghain stare at Amanda as she made her way into the room. There was familiarity in the way he looked at her and he would have sworn he saw a dark flicker of desire flash in the man's eyes. It was the same look that Loghain had given her when they had met in Ostagar. Amanda just glared at the Teryn, her face remained unreadable.

Loghain returned his attention back to Eamon. "How could I not welcome a man so important to call every Lord and Noble in Ferelden away from their estates for a Landsmeet while we are in the middle of a Blight," Loghain said coldly.

"It's because of the Blight that I called the Landsmeet. With Calian died, Ferelden must have a King to lead it against the darkspawn," Eamon replied.

"Ferelden has a strong leader – it's Queen!" Loghain exclaimed. "And I lead her armies."

"Is that so? Well, if Anora rules than let her speak for herself, Loghain," Amanda interjected.

Alistair saw Loghain's chin stiffen, "Aaah, Amanda, you seem to have more lives than a cat. Glad to see you made it out of Ostagar alive," Loghain replied coolly.

Amanda laughed a cold, hard laugh that sent chills down Alistair's spin, "You never were a good liar, Loghain, at least not to me so why try now," Amanda retorted.

Loghain took a step closer, lowered his voice only for Amanda to hear, but Alistair was able to make out most of his words out, "If I recall, you believed my lies enough to offer yourself up to me."

Amanda laughed coldly again. "Don't flatter yourself, Loghain. I never bought what you were selling. I was just curious to see if an old man such as yourself had the stamina to truly satisfy someone….how did you put…as developed as myself. You failed…miserably," Amanda hissed as a cold grin spread across her lips. Loghain's turned a deep red as he stepped back from her.

He glared at her as he spoke slowly and deliberately, "You have my sympathies for what happened to your order. It is unfortunate that they chose to turn against Ferelden."

"Again, not so good with the lies; I have come to expose your crimes at Ostagar and to expose you for vile traitor you are. It will bring me great pleasure to bring you down," Amanda snapped.

"You should curb your tongue, Lover. This is my city and no place to speak treason….for anyone and that includes an ex-lover," Loghain spat as he glared at Alistair looking for a reaction. Alistair remained calm even though he was burning with rage on the inside. Lover? He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Amanda had been sexually involved with Loghain…he had to be twice her age. By the Maker, how could she be with the likes of him? How could she let this old man touch her?

The sound of Amanda's harsh laugh and cold voice brought him back to the present. He had missed what the lanky noble had said and only caught Amanda's reply. "Enjoy your moment, Howe. Enjoy having all the things that you envied about my family because I will personally see that it ends very soon."

So this was Rendon Howe, he looked like a weasel Alistair thought as he watched the man shift uncomfortable under Amanda's glare and underlying threat.

"You are either very bold or very stupid to threaten the Teyrn before witnesses," Ser Cauthrien barked.

Amanda glared at Ser Cauthrien before she spoke. "I am the daughter of the murdered Teyrn Cousland. I am neither bold nor stupid and I only make promises that I know how to keep," Amanda replied calmly.

Ser Cauthrien began to reply back, but Loghain interrupted her. "Enough, Cauthrien, this is not the time or place. I had hoped to talk you down Amanda from this rash course. The people of Ferelden are frightened, the King is dead and our lands are under siege. We must be united if we are to endure this crisis." Loghain demanded. He glared at Eamon and Alistair, "You divide our nation and weaken our efforts against the Blight; all because of your selfish ambitions for the throne."

Amanda stepped closer to Loghain, "Loghain, what efforts can there really be when you have outlawed Grey Wardens? If you truly want to stop the Blight then stand with us not fight against us," Amanda said.

"I should put my faith in untried fallen hands. You know me better than that, Amanda. I am neither blind or stupid. Calian put too much trust in the Grey Wardens against the darkspawn and we all know how that turned out," Loghain retorted.

"I cannot forgive what you have done, Loghain. Maybe the Maker can, but I cannot. Our people deserve a king of the Theirin bloodline. Alistair will be the one to lead us to victory during this Blight," Eamon replied.

"Oh is that all I have to do. Good to know. Glad there's no pressure," Alistair said sarcastically.

"The Emperor of Olais thought I couldn't bring him down, but he underestimated me. There isn't nothing I wouldn't do for Ferelden and I will destroy anyone that stands in my way," Loghain said.

"Don't underestimate me, Loghain. You thought you had destroyed me once, but you were gravely mistaken," Amanda replied.

"Don't worry, Lover I never make the same mistake twice," Loghain said and then he quickly spun around and marched out of the room.

"Well, that was bracing. Are you okay?" Eamon asked once Loghain had left the room. Amanda nodded. "Good because we have a lot of work to do. The roots of all of Loghain's plans have begun here in Denerim. We need to sift out those plans so that we can use them to our advantage. Go have a look around and see what you can find out. Most of the nobles should have begun to arrive in town. Go talk with them and test the waters. Let's see where we stand with them," Eamon said.

"Will do," Amanda replied.

"Come to see me once you have any information," Eamon said and he headed for his study.

Alistair's hand shook as he took Amanda's hand and pulled her into room near the main hall. "You never mentioned that you had a relationship with Loghain. Why not?"

Amanda was quiet for several minutes before she spoke. "I was young when Loghain first showed interest in me. I was naïve and intrigued that this powerful man that was considered a Hero would be interested in me."

"Amanda, what man wouldn't be interested in you? Look at you, you're incredibly gorgeous, you are full of charm and charisma and you are a force to be reckoned with when you wield a blade. The true question is how could you be interested in man such as him?" Alistair asked.

She paused again before she spoke, "I know that's hard to believe, but Loghain can be very charming when he wants to be and he can be very manipulative. Like I said, I was young and he was a forty year old man who knew exactly what to say to young girl with romantic ideas about love. He mentally seduced me before he ever laid a hand on me," Amanda whispered as she bowed her head to hide her blushing cheeks.

"Did you sleep with him?" Alistair asked calmly even though he felt the anger and hatred towards this man continue to rise.

Amanda's head snapped up and she looked him directly in the eyes. "NO! When I told you that you were my first that was the truth, but Loghain knew how to use his age to his advantage…he knew how to manipulate a young, eager to please girl in order to full fill his own desires," she paused as she tried to compose herself. "He showed me how a man and a woman can give and receive pleasure without intercourse." Her voice broke and a tear slid down her cheek. "I'm sorry Alistair that I never told you about him. It was because I am embarrassed that I had allowed myself to be manipulated and drawn in by him."

Alistair pulled her into his arms. His hands cupped her face as his thumb wiped away her tears. "It's okay, my Love. It takes a sick mind to prey on a young girl. I wish I could have been there to protect you from him." He drew her to him and gently kissed her lips before he pulled away, "But I am here now and I won't allow him to ever hurt you again," he said as he gently kissed her forehead, "So how did Eamon know about him?"

"Because he had asked my father for permission to officially court me so all the nobles of Ferelden knew that Loghain was courting me and was planning on asking for my hand in marriage," Amanda replied.

"And your father was okay with someone his own age courting his daughter?" Alistair asked flabbergasted.

"My father left the decision up to me. He was not thrilled that I had given a man twice my age permission to court me, but he had always felt that Fergus and I should be able to decide who we wanted to marry. My parents were not going to force me into an arranged marriage like so many nobles. As I said the man intrigued me, I looked up to him and he was very charming and extremely patient. He took his time and was very calculating when it came to seducing me," Amanda said sadly.

"And did he ask you to marry him?" Alistair questioned.

"Yes, he said he loved me and I believed him, but in reality he just used me," Amanda swiped at her tears as she gathered her strength. "Fergus had been right. He said that Loghain only wanted me in order to further his own ambitions. He told me that when Loghain proposed that I should turn him down. He said that if Loghain truly loved me that he wouldn't take no for an answer. That he would continue to pursue me until he convinced me to marry him, but if he acted out in anger and became hostile that he was only there for his own selfish desires. So when he proposed, I turned him down and as my brother predicted Loghain became furious. He stormed out of the castle that very night and I had not seen or heard from until I saw him at Ostagar," Amanda responded.

"So he's a sore loser. Good to know. He will pay Amanda – for what he did to you, for what he did to the Grey Wardens and to Calian. I will make sure that man answers for all the damage that he has done," Alistair said through gritted teeth.

Amanda leaned forward and kissed Alistair again. "Alistair, I thought I loved Loghain and if it weren't for the wise counsel of my brother I would have married him." Alistair felt his body involuntarily tighten at her words and he looked away from her. She reached up touched his chin and forced him to look at her. He saw such love radiate out from her expression that it sent a shiver through his body. "Alistair, I thought I loved him, but I didn't really understand the true meaning of love until I met you. You are what I was looking for. I wanted what my parents had and I found that in you. I love you, Alistair. No matter what happens over the next couple of days please always remember that I love you, I always will and that every decision I make is for you."

Alistair felt his heart skip a beat as her words seeped into his heart and he was overwhelmed with emotion. He loved this woman with his whole heart. Everything right now was so uncertain, but he knew he could not live without her. He wanted to protect her, love her and keep her safe. He needed her as much as he needed the air that he breathed. He leaned down and drew her to him so that her mouth hovered inches from his; he could feel her warm sweet breath wash over him. Her soft lips curved into a delicious promise as Alistair took her mouth hostage with his raw need for her. Amanda welcomed him with a hushed moan as her lips parted allowing for a deeper caress. Alistair felt his desire for this woman begin to build as he greedily devoured the sweetness of her mouth. He tried to rein in his hunger for her, but in the end it was a futile effort. He could no more control his craving for her than he could control the warm breeze that blew through the window so he indulged himself the honey sweet taste of her mouth until the need for air forced him to pull away.

Alistair heard the sound of their breathing as they fought to recover from the desire that had claimed them, but it had gone too far and recovery was no longer possible. He was at the mercy of his love for this woman and his body's growing need to possess her – the dance had begun and his only desire was to claim her and see this waltz through to its gratifying end.

Alistair slid his hand down and pulled at the laces of her dress exposing her silky breasts. He cupped her breasts and rubbed his thumb over the sensitive peak. She sighed with pleasure. Breathlessly Alistair whispered, "I'm hungry." He looked at her beautiful face and took pleasure in the blissful expression that was on her face.

His favorite sinful grin spread across her face. "You're insatiable, Alistair," she chuckled.

A mischievous grin spread across his face as his thoughts turned to the previous night. It had been their first night in real bed in months and Alistair took advantage of the comfortable surroundings and the lack of companions within ear shot. At three different times during the night he had awaken Amanda with intimate caresses and sensuous kisses strategically placed on her body. His grin widen as he recalled that her nightshirt had not survived the third time he had claimed her body with his. His hunger and yearning had overcome him and his eager hands had torn the damn thing off in his zealous desire to feel her skin against his.

"I'm in love," Alistair countered. Nothing he had ever said in his entire life was truer than that statement. He was so in love with her that at times it scared the hell out of him.

Amanda looked at him with such love and devotion in her eyes. "Well, my Love, in that case, I'm starving," she moaned as she pressed into him. Alistair backed her up against the long conference table that was in the room. Her lips pressed against his as they both tried to convey the overpowering feelings they had for one another.

Alistair moved his hands over Amanda's silky flesh. By the Maker, she was so yielding and supple under his caresses and the sensation of her skin against his caused a guttural moan to slip from his lips.

He leaned her back on the table and his hands roamed over her delicate curves as his hands slid between her thighs. He felt himself grow even harder when he pulled off her small clothes and slipped his finger between her legs only to discover that her glorious curls were wet with desire for him. He slipped his fingers through her curls and pushed inside to her moist, warm center. His thumb stroked and caressed her outer sweet center and she moaned with a primal lust he had never heard from her before as she involuntarily thrust her hips against his fingers eager for the release that seemed so excruciatingly close. He smiled with deep satisfaction at the pleasure he was giving her and he felt the pressure between his thighs grow and almost become unbearable.

His fingers glided in and out of her while his thumb worked its magic against her pulsing nub. He watched as her eyes closed, her head titled back, her chest began to rise and fall with accelerated breaths as her panting approached satisfaction. He loved seeing her like this, writhing under his touch as he brought her to the point of uncontrollable pleasure. She was an exquisite sight to behold. He leaned forward and his tongue replaced his thumb and he watched her with exhilarating delight as the waves of ecstasy rocked her body.

Amanda fell back against the table; her body spent with pleasure. Alistair basked in the delight of her satisfaction as he watched her chest rise and fall as she tried to catch her breath.

She saw the smug look on his face so she leaned forward and began to caress his chest. Alistair closed his eyes and relished in the warm, soft, wet feel of her mouth on his nipple as she sucked and nipped at him. Alistair pulled her hips closer to him as he grinded his throbbing groin against her soft wet center trying to relieve some of the pressure that was painfully growing in his groin.

Amanda tugged at his trousers insisting that he removed them to allow her easier access. She laced her fingers around his shaft as she twisted her hand and pulled forward. Alistair nearly came undone in her hand, but somehow he managed to remain in control. He wanted to bury himself inside of her and gain his release deep in her hot moist center. He placed his hand over hers stopping any further movement. "Please Mandi, I won't last much longer," he groaned.

Amanda grinned as she recognized his dilemma and slid her body toward him as she lifted her warm inviting center met his eager hard member. Her eyes stared into his as he slowly entered her inch by inch slowly filling her; when she had completely engulfed him both pleasure and pain shot through him as her hot moist center enveloped him.

He reached for her, as his hand caressed her check, neck and then her breast as her nipple came to life under his loving touch. It never failed to marvel him how perfectly she melded to his body. It was as if she was made for him and him alone. Maybe that was how it was suppose to be; he was her first, at their first union his body had perfectly folded into hers creating an unforgettable mold that only he could fit perfectly back into. He lifted his hips and ground himself into her and she whimpered with pleasure. Alistair set the rhythm as he rocked back and forth inside her, riding against her. Amanda slowed the movement at first and Alistair was lost in the pleasure of her warm body sliding up and down on his penis; the delirious friction that pulled him further into paradise. She began to thrust hard and faster against him and with each stroke the pleasure grew as he felt the pressure building inside his groin. Amanda moaned hungrily as if she wanted to devour all of him. He could tell that her need for release from this painful pleasure was becoming as urgent as his own. She raised her hips higher, seeking deeper penetration as she lengthened her strokes and rubbed the sensitive nub of her center against him. Alistair gripped her hips as he surged downward, thrusting deeper into her with every stroke. Alistair knew he wouldn't last much longer so he moved his thumb to her throbbing center and stroked back and forth sending her over the edge; she cried out in sheer bliss as she came with him and as the shudders of ecstasy cascaded over him he felt Amanda's body contract and clamp down around him; she arched her back as she joined him in heavenly satisfaction.

As Alistair became aware of his environment he became conscious of the sound of rapid breathing and the gratifying exhaustion that they shared. He opened his eyes and gazed at the radiant face of his lover, his friend, and the love of his life as she languished in the warmth and serenity of love making. Alistair felt the euphoric tension begin to drain from her and her tight hold on him loosened its grip as she collapsed against the table.

She smiled the gentlest of smiles as she reached up and caressed his chest, "I love you."

Alistair felt his heart tighten as he completed the sentence they always said to one another, "More than words can say." He pulled her close to him as a sudden and irrational fear swept through him that he was going to lose her. He clung to her as he pushed the foolish thoughts away.

It wasn't long ago that Alistair didn't really understand the meaning of family, unity or unconditional love and then Amanda had walked into his life. She had rescued him from a life of loneliness and isolation and had awakened feelings that he thought only existed in Bard's songs and in books. She was able to break through the walls of anger, guilt and unworthiness that had surrounded him his whole life and she had shown him what he was capable of and what he could become. She had believed in him in ways that no one else in his life had believed in him. And it was her belief in him that had enabled him to believe in himself.

Amanda lifted her head and pressed her loving lips to Alistair's chin as she slid back on the table, lifted her hips and gently released him from the sanctuary of her body. She slid down the full length of the table. He silently mourned the separation, but the disappointment was replaced by the warmth of her body as she pulled him toward her so that he could lie beside her. Quietly he rested against her chest – arms and legs intertwined. Alistair listened to the steady breathing sounds of the woman he loved. They faced death everyday and he took profound comfort from the rhythmic life-sustaining breaths that came from the rise and fall of her chest – they were the sounds of life – they were music to his ears and that was all he needed to feel safe and happy. He kissed her check and whispered, "Amanda, that's all I ever need. I just need to hear you breathe, Love."


	3. Chapter 3 Separate Ways

The next couple of chapters are based on decisions that are made at the end of the game. For the purposes of this story not all of the events will happen in the sequence that the game followed. I just wanted to give a warning for those who are sticklers about following the game canon.

**Chapter 2**

**Denerim – Two days before the Landsmeet**

"Troubled times, caught between confusion and pain, pain, pain  
Distant eyes, promises we made were in vain, in vain, in vain  
If you must go, I wish you love  
You'll never walk alone, take care my love, miss you love"

_Separate Ways - Journey_

Alistair crept along the wall of Fort Drakon as he allowed the taint from Amanda's blood to lead him to her. For some reason the two of them had always been able to feel the other through the taint. It was different from what Alistair had experienced with other Wardens. With the others he could distinguish between their taint and darkspawn taint, but her taint called to him and the pull of it was very distinctive. When they were in the mist of a battle or when their emotions were running extremely high they could sense one another's feelings and there were those rare, but exquisite times when they were making love to each other they could feel exactly what the other was feeling and use that to guide them to give to each other the most intense yet beautiful ecstasy. So as he inched along dark hallway he reached out to her reassuring her that he was coming, to hold on, he would be there soon.

Alistair turned to Zevran and whispered, "Not much further. I can feel that she is close." Zevran just nodded as Alistair continued to move forward. He couldn't believe that it was only this morning that Amanda had gathered the companions in the library so that she could brief them on the latest news.

Alistair and Amanda had just left a meeting with Eamon where a servant of Queen Anora's claimed that the Queen was being held against her will by Arl Howe. Eamon felt that it would be in their best interests to investigate the servant's claims. Zevran had also just returned from a scouting mission in the Alienage with disturbing news regarding the disappearances of elves.

Alistair studied Amanda as she paced the floor while she formulated a plan. He loved to watch her brow furrow and her nose wrinkle as she ran through all her options. She must have realized he was observing her because she looked up, then smiled and winked at him. "Okay, this is what we're going to do. Leliana, I want you to stay in the Market and find out all there is to know about the nobles and their thoughts on the upcoming Landsmeet. Alistair, I want you to take Wynne, Leliana, and Oghren and investigate these disappearance in the Alienage. I will head to the Arl of Denerim's estate with Zev, Sten and Morrigan to rescue the Queen. Let's plan on meeting…"

"You are not going to rescue the Queen without me," Alistair interrupted. "I don't trust Anora anymore then I trust her father. This has trap written all over it Amanda and what a better way for Loghain to get his hands on a Grey Wardens then under the disguise of a rescue mission. I am not going to let you walk in there alone!" Alistair exclaimed.

"For once, Alistair is right, my Pet, this whole rescue the Queen affair smells like an ambush to me too," Zevran said.

"And that is why I am not sending the last two Grey Wardens in all of Ferelden together on this mission," Amanda said calmly.

"Aaaah yes I see my dear, you don't want to put all of your dragon eggs in one basket. Good plan," Zevran chortled.

Alistair ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He knew she was right, but he hated being separated from her. He couldn't protect her if he wasn't with her. "I see the logic behind this decision Mandi, but Loghain is out to get you and not just because you're a Warden. I hate the idea of you walking into snare that he has set for you. Let me go rescue the Queen and you take care of the problem in the Alienage," Alistair suggested.

"NO!" Amanda exclaimed quickly. "If this is a trap set by Loghain I am not about to hand over to him the last Theirin heir. I will go to the Arl's Estate. End of discussion! We have our assignments let's move out," Amanda declared.

Alistair had been back from the Alienage for five hours. He had briefed Eamon on what they had discovered and the Arl was just as disgusted with Loghain's actions as he had been. As Alistair waited for Amanda to return he nervously paced around Eamon's study, his heart was racing and his stomach was in knots. Something was wrong, he could feel it. She should have been back hours ago. By the Maker, why had he agreed to this plan? If something happened to her he would never be able to forgive himself. The door to the study flew open and Morrigan, Sten and Zev walked into the room lead by Anora.

"Anora, you're safe," Eamon exclaimed.

"Yes, thanks to the Grey Warden you sent to rescue me. But it's seems we have a problem," Anora said.

"It would appear that we have more than one," Morrigan retorted as she gave a slight head nod in Anora's direction and she shot Alistair a knowing look.

"The Warden has been captured and has been taken to Fort Drakon," Anora said.

"I knew it!" Alistair exclaimed. "That traitorous Bastard, I knew he would try to trap her."

"Alistair, calm down," Zev said as he rested his hand on Alistair's shoulder. "We will rescue her, we will get her back, and she will be okay."

Alistair felt the pull tighten in his chest as he approached the chamber door. He took a deep breath, swung the door open and charged in with his sword drawn. The jailor rushed him, but Alistair didn't even give the man a chance to draw his blade back as Alistair attacked the man with three vicious shield bashes knocking him to the ground. Alistair quickly drew back his sword he brought the blunt side of the blade down on the jailor's head knocking him unconscious. Alistair fumbled through the man's pockets until he found the keys. He could see that there was a commotion going on in Amanda's cell and he dashed for the cell door.

He swung the door open just in time to see Amanda, in her small cloths, slam a guard into the side of the cell. Alistair saw an arm slid through the bars and wrap around the guard's neck, holding him in a choke hold. Amanda brought her knee up and slammed it into the guard's groin as she yelled, "You sick, Bastard. If you ever touch me again I will kill you." The guard would have collapsed to the floor if it wasn't for the arm wrapped around his neck. Seeing Amanda half naked and hearing her words sent Alistair over the edge. He hurtled forward and drove his sword through the guard's chest. The arm released the man and he collapsed to the floor.

Alistair rushed over to Amanda and pulled her into his arms, "Mandi are you okay? Did that bastard…did he…"

Amanda shook her head as she rested her head against his chest, "No, the disturbance that you and Zev caused when you entered the room distracted him and allowed me gain the upper hand. With the aid of my next door neighbor I was able to subdue him."

Zev quietly walked up behind her and gently touched her shoulder. "Jinx, I found your armor in a chest. I thought you could use it."

"Thank you, Zev." Amanda took the armor and moved into the corner to discreetly get dressed.

Alistair handed Zev the keys and asked, "Can you let our friend here out of his cell and see if you can find him some clothes?" Zev nodded and took the keys. Alistair turned to the man and the cell, "We will have you out of there in a minute, my friend."

The man reached through the bars and grabbed Alistair's arm, "Alistair? Is that you?"

Alistair studied the man in the cell. Due to the beard, it took Alistair a moment to recognize the face, but as he looked into the man's eyes he realized who he was. "By the Maker, is that you Everett?"

The man gave a low chuckle, "Yes, it's me, Alistair. It's been a long time. You look good," Everett replied.

Zevran unlocked the cell door and handed Everett leather armor. Everett quickly got dressed and joined them out in the corridor. Alistair turned to Amanda, "Amanda, this is my childhood friend, Everett. Everett lived in the village of Redcliff and we use to play together as children. When we were ten both of us were sent to the Chantry together. We trained together to be templars," Alistair said.

"Yes, until you deserted us to become a Grey Warden," Everett chortled.

Alistair noticed Amanda scrutinize Everett before she offered him her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Everett took her hand and shook it. "The pleasure is all mine, any friend of Alistair's is a friend of mine."

"I wanted to thank you for your help in there. I appreciate it," Amanda said.

"Those were some impressive moves you made in there, Lady Cousland. I was just glad that you were able to maneuver him into a position that I could help," Everett replied.

Alistair saw Amanda briefly raise her eye brow before her face once again became unreadable. She was not acting like herself. He had seen her behave like this when she had to interact with someone she didn't trust, but he didn't understand why she was acting like this now.

Zev also picked up on her cues and he stepped in. "I hate to break up the reunion, but we really need to get out of here before they realize a few of their guards are died."

"Yes, I've had my fill of this place. Let's get the hell out of here," Amanda replied as she took Starfang and Rose's Thorn from Zev.

"Those are some remarkable blades you have there," Everett marveled.

"Better to kill darkspawn with," Amanda replied dryly as she turned on her heels headed for the Fort exit.

Alistair caught up to her and whispered, "Amanda, why are you being so rude to Everett?"

"Don't you find it suspicious that an old friend from your past is placed conveniently in the cell beside me," Amanda muttered.

"Well, it could be taken that way or it could be a coincidence that just worked out in our favor," Alistair murmured back.

Amanda looked directly into his eyes, "Alistair, I don't trust him and you so shouldn't either."

"He's an old friend that I haven't seen in years. How could he possibly be mixed up in this?" Alistair questioned.

Amanda shook her head. "I don't know, but he called me Lady Cousland."

"So, that's your name isn't?" Alistair countered.

"Think about it, Alistair. You didn't introduce me by my title or my last name. How did he know that?"

Alistair didn't have a reply so he just fell in behind her as she led the group back to Eamon's Estate.

Later that night when he was finally alone with her, Alistair had expressed at least twice in various positions how glad he was that she was safe and back in his arms where she belonged until she finally had collapsed from exhaustion against his chest. Alistair tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear and traced the outline of her face with his finger. He gazed at her resting on his chest with more emotion then he thought possible. She was his reason for living. "You are my everything, Mandi," Alistair whispered into her hair.

She remained silent and he thought he heard a sniffle and then he felt something wet hit his chest. He reached up and ran his finger across her check. "Why are you crying, Love?"

"Because I am about to a decision that I know is right, but one that is killing me to make." Amanda whispered.

"What decision? What are you talking about?" Alistair asked.

She sat up, looked at him and ran her hand down his bare chiseled chest. "You are so beautiful," she murmured. "I have been so blessed to have you in my life."

Alistair felt his stomach flip and his chest tighten. He sat up and looked at her. "Okay, now you are scaring me. What is going on?"

She was silent for a moment as she wiped away her tears and let out a long sigh. "Alistair, the past eighteen months that I have traveled with you I have seen your character. You are noble, just and honest and because of those qualities you are what is best for Ferelden and that is why I am going to put you on the throne."

Alistair leaned back against the headboard and pulled her toward him. "It's okay, my Love. I have been thinking about this and I have come to terms with it. I am ready to fulfill my destiny. So you see there is no reason for the tears."

"Alistair, both of us know that in order for you to secure your throne you are going to have to produce a child and that the chances of two Wardens producing a child together are next to impossible," Amanda continued.

Alistair stiffened and his breathing became more rapid as she continued. "You need a wife that can help you produce an heir and one that the people will accept immediately so that Ferelden can begin to recover once the Blight is over."

He had an idea where she was headed with this and he wanted to scream at her to stop, but he didn't so she continued. "Alistair, Queen Anora would be the logical choice. She is already been governing Ferelden for five years now, she is loved by the people and according to the information that Leliana found out the nobles would be more willing to accept you as their King if she remained Queen."

"You want me to marry Anora? Forget the fact that I don't like her; I don't think I can trust her. She is Loghain's daughter. How am I supposed to marry someone I don't trust?" Alistair exclaimed.

"Alistair, I have not seen any evidence that Anora had any knowledge or was involved with what happened at Ostagar. She lost her husband there and from all accounts she loved Calian. She maybe ambitious, but I don't believe that she is evil. She will help you unify Ferelden and secure the throne," Amanda responded.

He looked into her beautiful pleading eyes and he couldn't imagine not being able to gaze into her eyes, not be able kiss her whenever he wanted, not being able to do all the delicious things he loved to do with her and to her without breaking any vows, without sinning in the eyes of the Maker. How was he supposed to go on without her by his side, not as a friend or advisor, but as the love of his life, his soulmate, his counterpart. "Mandi, I love you with ever breath of my being. How am I supposed to go on without you? There has to be way for us to stay together," Alistair whispered.

"Alistair, I have thought about this extensively and I can't see any other way. You need Anora to succeed and being the good Chantry boy that you are would you ever be able to have me as your mistress?"

"I could never do that to you. As much as I love you and the thought of being without you is killing me, but I could never dishonor you like that," Alistair sighed.

Amanda ran her fingers across his chest as she outlined the muscles of his chest with the tips of her fingers. "I know, Love and that is why I never suggested it."

Alistair understood the logic behind this decision and he knew that this was always a possibility, but now that this was the path that his life was about to take his heart was breaking. He loved her so much he didn't know how he could go on without her and he felt a lump form in his throat. "Is this what you want?" He whispered.

She slid into his lap and straddled his thighs. "No Alistair, this isn't what I want. What I want is to be your wife, to have your children, to grow old with you and die surrounded by many grandchildren. But that dream just isn't meant to be. We each have our own destinies that are pulling us away from each other and even though I know it's the right thing it's killing me to do it." She paused as she slid her fingers through his hair and cradled the nap of his neck. "Alistair I don't know what the future will hold for us, but please remember I love you. I always will. You are my reason for living. You saved me from the despair and guilt that I had over my family and showed me what true love really is. Please hold onto that no matter what the future brings us."

She clung to him as she stroked the back of his neck. She leaned forward kissed his face, his brow, his eyes and his throat and he answered as a moan was torn from his throat. "I love you, Alistair," her soft lips murmured against his neck.

"More than words can say," he sighed back as his lips found hers and he reclaimed her again as his.


	4. Chapter 4 Love Bites

**Thank you to **

**Chapter 3**

**Denerim – The Day of the Landsmeet**

"Love bites, love bleeds, it's bringin' me to my knees  
Love lives, love dies, it's no surprise

Love begs, love pleads, it's what I need"

_Love Bites – Def Leppard_

Everything had happened so fast that at first Alistair couldn't believe his ears let alone react. Up to this moment everything had gone as planned. They had won the Landsmeet, Amanda had defeated Loghain in the duel, he had surrendered and now the Warden from Olais was asking them to conscript Loghain into the Wardens. Conscript this traitor? Was this man crazy? And Amanda, his Mandi was acting like she was actually considering this? Had he stepped out the room for a moment and the world had gone completely mad in his absence?

"You want to make him a Warden, Why?" Amanda asked.

"There are only three Wardens in all of Ferelden and there are compelling reasons to have as many Wardens on hand to deal with the Archdemon," Riordan replied.

Alistair felt the taint pull in his chest. It was her taint as she tried to reach out to him; as she pleaded for him to trust her, but he pushed it aside as his anger began to rise.

Anora stepped forward with her hands clasped in front of her. "The joining is often fatal is it not? If he survives the joining, you have gained a general to aid against the Blight. If he dies then you have your revenge. Does that not satisfy you?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Alistair exclaimed. "Riordan, this man abandoned our brothers and then blamed us for the deed. He hunted us down like animals, he tortured you. How can we just forget that?" 

Amanda reached out for his arm, but Alistair pulled his arm out her reach. She looked into his eyes and pleaded with him. "Alistair, Riordan has a point. There are only three Wardens left; we need more numbers. We should put him through the joining," Amanda countered.

Alistair looked into her eyes and he could see her begging him to trust her. He felt her taint once again as she reached out to pleaded with him to have faith and believe in her. He remembered the first time she had asked him to trust her.

_Alistair stood at the edge of the cliff and looked over the rim at the crystal clear lake that was below. He looked at Amanda standing beside him at the precipice in her small clothes. She held her hand towards him palm up, "Do you trust me?"_

"_What?"_

"_Do you trust me?" She asked again. _

"_Of course I do." _

"_Then take my hand and jump with me," she coerced. _

_Alistair took a deep breath and took her hand. She grasped it tightly in hers, "On the count of three. One, two, threeeeee."_

_And the two of them leapt off the side of the cliff and plunged into the lake below; it was one of the most exhilarating, thrilling experiences of his life and if he hadn't trusted her he would have never experienced it._

The tug of her taint was so strong; it was almost overwhelming and the plea rang out in his head over and over again – "trust me, trust me, have faith in me". He wanted to believe that she knew what she was doing, but as he looked over at the smug face of Loghain, all of the anger and hatred towards the man rose to the surface.

"No, joining the Wardens is an honor not a punishment…"

"Oh really Alistair, then why did Duncan conscript Daveth? He was a thief, a cheat and a lair, but Duncan put those things aside because Wardens are suppose to do whatever it takes to defeat the Blight," Amanda interrupted.

"Daveth didn't kill all the Wardens in Ferelden. That man did! We are in this predicament because that man slaughtered our brothers and sisters in Ostagar. You make him a Warden and you cheapin' all of us. I will not stand next to him as a brother," Alistair declared.

"Alistair, we need all the help we can get. Please stand beside me on this decision," Amanda said pleadingly as she reached out to again through the taint.

He remember the last time she had pleaded with him to stand by her, he hadn't supported her in that decision either and things didn't turn out very well and it nearly destroyed their relationship.

_They had just arrived back at camp after saving Connor from the desire demon. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened at the castle today," he said as he rounded on her. _

"_You were there. You saw what happened," Amanda replied coolly._

"_YOU let Lady Isolde sacrifice herself with blood magic. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" He shouted at her._

"_How could I do what? Use blood magic or allow Isolde to sacrifice herself?" She asked calmly._

"_BOTH!" He spat at her._

"_Would you rather that Connor was dead?" She asked reasonably. _

"_No of course not, but we could have gone to the Circle of Magi, Amanda. We could have tried harder. We could have done something that didn't involve blood magic," he retorted. _

"_Alistair you might want to read up on your Grey Warden history next time you are in a library. Grey Wardens do whatever it takes to defeat the blight AT- ANY-COST! Sometimes they utilize unconventional methods and at times that has included blood magic. We are Grey Wardens, Alistair, not Templars. I recall Duncan reminding you of that fact the first day we met."_

_At the mention of Duncan's name Alistair's face became ever redder if that was even possible. "DUNCAN also taught me that Grey Wardens have a responsibility to protect people and keep them safe! You sacrificed Isolde's life! How could you be so cold? What gives you the right to make that decision?"_

_Amanda's voice was low and controlled, but also dangerous as she growled out her reply, "I was living up to my responsibilities. I was protecting the people of this town and keeping safe them. The circle would take four days around trip. I could not risk the lives of everyone in this entire village in hopes that the Circle could help us. I'm sorry to say, but the lives of the many outweigh the life of one. So as the leader of this merry band I made the tough decision a decision that you wouldn't have had the courage to make and you know it! That's why YOU made me the leader, but the moment I make a decision that you disagree with you attack me and question my motives. How f-u-c-k-i-n-g dare you?" _

He hadn't stood by her that day and had questioned her motives when in reality she was only doing what she thought was best. It may not have been the best decision, but she had managed saved Connor's life. So here we are again and once more she was asking him to stand by her and once again he didn't think he could, not when she was asking him to support her decision to conscript Loghain.

Alistair pushed the pull of her taint aside as he hardened his gaze and his heart toward her. "Loghain is a traitor. We need him like we need a knife in the back or have you forgotten how being a great general didn't work out so well last time." Alistair paused as he stepped forward to address the crowd. "As the son of Maric I will take the crown and make sure that justice is served."

"Amanda, you have to see that he will not make a good king. He puts his own selfish needs and desires ahead of what is best for Ferelden," Anora said.

"Anora the same could be said for you and your motives to save your Father. I believe that Alistair will make an excellent King. He will be a fair and just ruler. He just needs someone to tutor him in court etiquette. I thought that if the two of you married that you would be able to guide him in the finer aspects of court life," Amanda coerced.

Alistair spun and glared at her. "How could you do this to me, Mandi? You of all people, but I guess you learned that backstabbing move from the years you spent with Loghain," he spat at her.

Alistair saw the tears that she was struggling to hold back. "Alistair I once told you that every decision I make is for you and what's best for you and for Ferelden."

"What's wrong with you? He has already tried to kill us both and you side with him over me!"

Amanda stepped forward so that only he could hear her, "Alistair, there has to be a reason why Riordan would ask us to put Loghain through the joining. There is something more to this that we don't know about. Please, Alistair, please trust me."

Her pleading broke his heart and he almost changed his mind, but he knew he would never be able to live with himself if he caved in on this. He slowly shook his head, "I'm sorry Amanda, I can't do this. Ask me for a pound of flesh or for all the gold in Orlais, but don't ask me to stand by him and call him brother. I can't do that. You leave me no choice, but to leave the Wardens and marry Anora."

Amanda closed her eyes as she tried to compose herself. Anora stepped forward and gave a speech calling for the people to be brave and declaring that Ferelden would be victorious. He watched as Amanda made her way out of the main hall with Riordan and Loghain for Loghain's joining. His heart ached for all that he had just lost.

**xxXxx**

Amanda and the armies had left seven days ago for Redcliff and as Alistair walked the battlements of the Palace he wondered if they were fighting the final battle right now. He was angry that he wasn't a part of it and he was angry that she had placed him in situation that had forced him to leave the Wardens. How could she declare her undying love for him the night before the Landsmeet and then turn on him so quickly? His heart ached to see her, to know that she was okay, to hold her in his arms, to taste her sweet lips and then the pain from her betrayal would rear up and he wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him. To break her heart the way she had broken his and for her to feel the agony of betrayal. And he wanted her to feel as alone and abandoned as he felt.

It was that loneliness that driven him to invite Everett to stay at the Palace when he had received a note from the man three days after the Landsmeet congratulating him on becoming King and on his betrothal to Anora. At this point, Alistair needed all the friends he could get. Every single one of his Blight companions had sided with Amanda and walked away from him in order to join her in Redcliff.

Alistair turned to head back into the palace when he felt the first tug of the taint in his blood. He paused and reached out to find the source. The taint began to scream and he heard the loud, piercing screech of the Archdemon in his head. Oh shite, Maker help us, the horde was not headed to Redcliff it was headed here. He ran down the battlements to the tower lookout; in the distance he saw the dust rising on the horizon. He yelled to the guard to sound the warning bell and to close the city gates.

He ran into Palace and found his captain of the guard, "Captain Brandon, the darkspawn horde is headed this way. Alter Captain Kylon and then gather every available man and have them meet me in the courtyard in twenty minutes."

Anora came running around the corner, "Alistair, what is going on?"

"The darkspawn horde must have turned from Redcliff; it is head for the city," Alistair declared.

"Maker have mercy," Anora said.

"Anora, gather supplies and take all of the house personal and servants to the Palace basement. I am meeting the Palace guards and the Captain of the Denerim guard in the courtyard in twenty minutes," Alistair said as he looked into Anora's face. For the first time ever, he saw fear in her eyes. He rested a reassuring hand on her arm, "Anora, it's going to be okay. We will get through this."

She gave a quick nodded and composed herself, "You're right. Be safe, Alistair."

"You too," Alistair replied.

Alistair was on his way to the courtyard when Everett ran up to him, "Alistair what the hell is going on? They just shut down the city and closed all of the gates."

"The darkspawn horde is headed this way," Alistair replied.

"What? I thought it was headed to Redcliff," Everett asked.

"Well, I guess the Archdemon changed its mind," Alistair said sarcastically as the two of them head for the courtyard.

That had been four days ago. Alistair rested his exhausted body against the wall in the main hall. The city gate had held up under the horde's pressure the first two days, however by day three the walls and gates had begun to weaken and in the early hours of day four they had broken through and the battle was now inside the city walls. It was now mid-day and the battle was moving closer to the Palace and he could feel that she was moving closer to the Palace gates.

"Water?" Everett asked as he handed Alistair a canteen.

Alistair grunted and took the water from him. Everett had fought tireless beside him for the past two days and Alistair was extremely grateful for that. It felt good to have a friend fight by his side. Earlier that day Alistair had been out in the courtyard when the Archdemon flew over head as someone clung to its back by holding on by the pommel of a sword that had been driven into its shoulder. The Archdemon made a sudden turn and Alistair watched in horror as the body plummet to the ground.

He felt a hand rest on his shoulder as Everett said softly, "You have to believe that it wasn't her." Alistair paused for just a moment, reached out through the taint; when he felt her he breathed a sigh of relief. "No, it wasn't her," Alistair confirmed.

Now, Alistair wearily took another sip of water as he tried to gather his strength. He had just leaned his head back and shut his eyes when the palace door burst open. "Your Majesty, the darkspawn have broken through the Palace gates," the guard yelled.


	5. Chapter 5 Thorn in My Side

**Chapter 4**

"Thorn in my side, you know that's all you ever were.  
A bundle of lies, you know that's all that it was worth.  
I should have known better but I trusted you at first.  
I should have known better but I got what I deserved."

_Thorn in My Side – Anne Lennox_

Alistair and Everett scrambled to their feet hand headed out the door. They had fought through several dozen Hurlocks and Genlocks when he felt her close by; he looked around and reached out to find her. She was on the lower level of the Palace district and he felt another taint near her…it was the taint of another Warden so it was either Roirdan or Loghain; he couldn't tell which one. He fought his way over to courtyard wall and he watched as she advanced toward the stairs.

It was a thing of deadly beauty watching her slice her way through the darkspawn and that is when he noticed Loghain fighting by her side in the exact same spot that he had once occupied. He felt the bile move up his throat, but he pushed it back and forced himself to focus on the battle. Amanda was at the base of the stairs about to head up when he realized that she hadn't noticed the ogre looming just out of her line of sight at the top of the stairs. Alistair rushed the ogre slashing at it and driving his shield into it. When he had it off balance he jumped up and drove his sword into its neck. When the beast had collapsed Alistair jumped off and landed beside Amanda just as she arrived at the top of the stairs.

She smiled at him, "Thanks, I didn't see him up here."

Her smile took his breath away and he temporary lost his train of thought. "Aaah, you're welcome. I didn't think you saw it. How's the rest of the battle going?"

"The armies that we raised are doing a great job of holding the horde off. Riordan is…" Amanda's words hitched in her throat and Alistair watched as a conflict rolled across her face as if saying the word would force her to come to terms with a troubling decision.

"I saw him fall," Alistair knowledge.

Zev ran up to them, "Today is the perfect day for a bloodletting, no?"

"I couldn't think of a better way to spend my Saturday," Alistair replied sarcastically.

Zevran ignored Alistair and turned to Amanda, "I do believe my dear Warden, that there is an Archdemon that is still waiting to dance with you and Starfang, my Sweet. Are you ready to head to the Fort?"

"Fort Drakon?" Alistair questioned.

"Yes, it's the highest point in the city and the easiest way to force a confrontation. I need to go, thanks again Alistair," Amanda said. She started to turn, but paused turned back to him, leaned in and brushed her lips against his. "Take care of yourself, Alistair." And in a voice barely audible she whispered, "I'll always love you."

Then she spun on her heels and ran towards the gates that led to the prison tower. "More than words can say," he whispered back as he watched her go until she disappeared through the gate and then he rejoined fight.

The battle in the Palace district waged on for what seemed like days, but it only had to have been only a few hours. The muscles in his arms and legs burned and his eyes stung from the sweat that dripped into them, but Alistair kept pushing forward. He had just driven his sword through a Hurlock's chest when a bright light burst forth from the top of Fort Drakon followed by a deafening explosion. Alistair felt the taint in his chest pulsate, expand and then dissipate. He knew the Archdemon was dead. He had not been able to feel Amanda's taint since she entered Fort Drakon, he didn't know if she was alive or dead and as angry as he was at her, he prayed that she was alive.

The darkspawn in the district began to retreat and the armies that were fighting let out a resounding cheer. Alistair glanced around at all of the lives that had been lost during this heated battle and knew that he would have to be strong in the months in and years to come in order to help Ferelden rebuild and prosper once again.

He turned just as he saw Everett approach him from behind, he saw the pommel of Everett's sword coming towards his head, but he had no time to react. He felt a burst of pain as the handle slam into the side of his head there was a flash of white light and then everything went black.

**xxXxx**

The first thing that Alistair was conscious of was the cold dirt pressed against his cheek and then he felt the pounding in his head. He forced his eyes open, everything was hazy, but he forced himself to focus on his surroundings so that he could get his bearings. He realized that he was in a cell of some kind, but not like the ones that he had seen in Fort Drakon. He struggled to sit up when a voice that was familiar came from behind him. Alistair spun around to see Everett sitting on a bench staring at him.

"Well, it's about time you wake up. I thought you were going to have me wait here half the night for you," Everett said coolly.

Alistair stared at Everett as it all came back to him – the bright light at the top of Fort Drakon, the explosion, the celebration and then Everett slamming the pommel of his sword into his head.

Alistair's mouth was dry and his tongue swollen, but he managed to whisper, "Why?"

"What's that? I couldn't make that out. Did you just ask me why?" Everett said sarcastically. Alistair nodded.

"Oh where to start Alistair," Everett said as he stood up and began to casually pace the room. "Maybe it's the fact that you deserted your best friend to run off to join the Wardens and you left me at the Chantry to become a lyrium addicted, celibate knight," Everett offered nonchalantly. His eyes fixed on Alistair, but there was nothing casual about his glare. Alistair saw pure venomous hatred there.

"I didn't desert you," Alistair stammered as he rubbed his throat trying to create enough saliva to speak. "I asked Duncan to take you, but he refused."

Everett ignored him as if he hadn't spoken. "Or it could have been the absurd amount of money that Loghain had offered me to capture you."

"Loghain," Alistair hissed out between his teeth.

"Yesss," Everett cooed as he raised an eye brow. "Alistair it would appear that you have pissed someone off even more than you have pissed me off and that is saying something because I would like to see your head on a spit."

Everett paused, sat down on the bench and fixed a malevolent stare at Alistair. Alistair hardened his face and just stared back as Everett continued. "Yes, it would appear that Loghain is not very happy with you, my Friend, and I wouldn't want to be in your shoes right now. I don't think you are going to enjoy the plans he has for you, but oh how I wish I could be there to watch you suffer."

Everett paused again as he rubbed his chin as if he was in deep thought. "Back to your question of why. Maybe Alistair, it's because I shouldn't be jealous of a no name bastard such as yourself and I wanted you to finally get…"

"Jealous of me. Why in Maker's name would you be jealous of me?" Alistair choked out.

Malicious fire flickered in Everett's eyes as he lunged at Alistair, grabbed him by collar and hissed, "You were raised by Arl Eamon and lived in Castle Redcliff…"

"I was raised by Arl Eamon because I was my Father's dirty little secret and I lived in the stables," Alistair interjected.

Everett ignored him, "When you went to the Chantry…"

Anger flared in Alistair's cheeks, "You mean when I was cast aside and sent to the Chantry," Alistair said bitterly.

Again Everett ignored him. He stood up straightened his fine noble's clothes as he continued, "When you went to the Chantry you sucked up to every teacher and knight there and quickly became the favorite the Knight Commander. All the best assignments were given to you; all the best sparring partners were assigned to you. YOU, the bastard Prince, were the Golden Boy to the Knight Commander. It was sickening. Then just before you took your vowels, miracle of all miracles you are conscripted into the prestigious Grey Wardens. You leave everyone that you say you loved and cared about behind without even batting an eye. I heard rumors of your glorious adventures during the Blight…"

"Glorious adventures? Are you mad? I was fighting for my life everyday and every night I was cleaning the darkspawn blood off my swords and armor so that I could do it all over again the next day," Alistair retorted.

A sinister smirk spread across Everett's lips, "Yes, speaking of your nights. Every night you got to explore the sensuous and extremely erotic body of the stunning Lady Cousland. Oh the delicious things I'm sure you did to her. I'll beat she is an animal in bed. Did Loghain break her in right for you, Alistair? I'm sure the lessons he taught her brought you unbelievable pleasure. I can only imagine, but then you used her and discarded her like the whore that she is so that you could have a Queen."

Alistair scrambled to his feet and lunged at Everett, but Everett had expected to invoke a reaction from him. He quickly side stepped Alistair and brought his elbow down at the base of Alistair's neck. Alistair wobbled, but turned to rush him again. Everett had pulled out his dagger and had it pointed at Alistair. "Alistair, you have been unconscious for two days and without food and water. You are in no condition to fight me, but I would be more than happy to run you through with my blade if you persist."

Alistair fiercely stared at the dagger and then at Everett and knew he was beat. He slumped back on to the bench in defeat.

"That's a good boy. I'm glad to see you know when you have been beat. At least that lesson managed to sink into your think skull. It's been a pleasure watching you be brought down a peg or two, but now I really should be going. Guard, I'm ready!"

The door swung open, Everett stepped out and the door slammed shut again. Alistair hung his head in his hands as he rubbed his temples. How the hell had he gotten to this point? Leading up to the final battle Alistair had spent countless hours with Everett and not once had Alistair picked up any malice in Everett's behavior. The man had completely blindsided him.

The door to the cell swung open the guard set down a tray of food and water and then threw a blanket at him. "Bon Appétit, my Prince and sleep well," the guard sneered.

Alistair scrambled over and grabbed the glass of water and greedily consumed it. He then eased himself back on the bench, threw the blanket around his shoulders, leaned back and closed his eyes. Amanda had been suspicious of him from the very beginning. Amanda's words ran through his mind. _"Alistair, I don't trust him and you so shouldn't either." _ Why hadn't he listened to her? Her instincts were always correct and had brought them through numerous dangerous situations. But if he truly trusted her intuition he would have listened to her about putting Loghain through the joining.

Loghain! What did that man want? His daughter was to remain Queen, his life had been spared and he was now a Grey Warden. What did he want with Alistair? Everett said that Loghain was angry at him, but why? The questions ran through his mind until he drifted off into a troubled sleep.

_Alistair stood on top of the tower where he was in the battle of his life as the tower was overrun with darkspawn that were there to protect their injured master. He watched as the dragon land inches away from Amanda, its tail sliced through the air and cut across her forearm; Wynne raced over to her and began casting numerous healing spells as she tried to stop the bleeding. Alistair ran up to her, "My Love, are you okay?"_

_But she ignored him as if she hadn't heard him. Beside her a sword laid on the ground, Amanda grabbed it and was about to charge forward when Wynne grabbed her arm, "Amanda, let Loghain take the killing blow. Isn't that why you made him a Warden? Don't sacrifice yourself!"_

"_Sacrifice? Amanda, what is she talking about?" Alistair demanded._

_Again Amanda ignored him as if she didn't hear or see him. Amanda looked gravely into Wynne's eyes. "Wynne, I have nothing else to lose. My family is gone, I've lost Alistair, there is nothing else, but for me to fulfill my duty." _

"_Amanda, no!" Alistair cried out as he watched her charge the beast, drive the sword into its chest, she slid down on her knees and slice the dragon's stomach open. She came up on the beast's side, she raised the sword above her head and brought it down full force into its heart. There was a blinding light, an explosion and Amanda was flung back. Her body hit a brick wall and then crumpled to the floor where she remained motionless. _

Alistair jolted awake, his body covered in a cold sweat as he gasped for breath. "Oh Maker, was that what happened? Was it really that bad?"

Alistair sat up and ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to calm his breathing. That couldn't be what happened. No, she had to be okay. She was too strong, too damn willful to die, but he felt the panic begin to settle in. The sun peeked out from behind a cloud and washed over Alistair. He bathed in its warm rays as he tried to clear his mind from the dream.

The cell door swung open again and this time Loghain entered the room. Alistair glared at the man as he strode in, leaned against the wall and smirked at Alistair. "In what world, did you think that someone like you could out maneuver and beat me?" Loghain asked.

Alistair didn't say anything he just continued to glare at him. When Alistair didn't answer Loghain leered at him and then continued, "Well, I guess by now you figured out that the Archdemon is dead. And if I'm standing here then you must be thinking Amanda is dead too."

Alistair tried to rein in his emotions, but the look of confusion must have still registered on his face. Loghain smiled as if he was the cat that had caught the canary. "Aaaah, so you don't know do you? Oh you're going to love this little tale Alistair. You see Riordan actually was trying to save your life and Amanda's when he offered the joining to me. You really should have trusted her instincts. She always had excellent intuition, well except for when it came to me."

Loghain gave him a devilish grin as he waited for a reaction. Alistair remained stoic so Loghain continued. "But that's to be expected. Young love, fueled by hormonal desire, makes it so easy to overlook the flaws of your lover." Loghain taunted, but even though Alistair felt his anger rising he refused to take the bait so he didn't say a word. Loghain grinned at him and shook his finger at him. "Your good, Alistair, most men would have thrown a punch by now to defend the honor of their beloved, but you sit there indifferent. Maybe you never really loved her, maybe you just used her. Is that it Alistair, was she just a piece of ass to you?"

"Shut up! You know nothing about love because you are completely incapable of it," Alistair hissed.

"That is where you are wrong, my friend. I loved Amanda deeply and I still do. It's painful to love someone who doesn't love you back," Loghain reflected. Alistair's lip curved into knowing smirk. Loghain looked at him curiously. "Is there something you aren't telling me, my dear boy?"

Alistair wanted this man that he loathed to know what he could have had, but lost. He wanted him to feel his pain."She did love you."

"She told you that?"

Alistair nodded. "Then did she tell you why she didn't marry me?"

Alistair nodded and sneer. "It would seem that Fergus had you figured out from the beginning. He knew your reasons for pursuing Amanda so he told her that when you proposed she should turn you down. He told her that if you truly loved her you won't take no for answer. That you would continue court her until you convinced her to be your wife. That's what I would have done," Alistair added nonchalantly before he continued. "Fergus also told her that if you became angry and hostile that you were only there for you own selfish desires. Once again you didn't fail to disappoint."

Alistair noticed with great satisfaction the disbelief and then anger that settled on the man's face. "Damn that man for meddling in my affairs. If he wasn't already dead I would kill him myself," Loghain spat.

"As I said, she was the best thing in your life and you let her slip through your hands," Alistair gloated.

Loghain stared at him with hard cold eyes. "The same could be said for you, Alistair. Do you know why it takes a Warden to kill an Archdemon?

Alistair once again said nothing and this time it was Loghain to give a knowing smirked. "You see, if anyone other than a Grey Warden kills the Archdemon its spirit will move into the body of the closest darkspawn making it almost immortal and so the Blight would continue. However, if a Grey Warden is the one to kill it, the Archdemon will seek out the taint in the Grey Warden. The result of two souls attempting to occupy one body causes both to be destroyed. Imagine my shock to find out that Calian was right. Wardens really are needed," Loghain said sarcastically.

Alistair felt his heart break as pain raked his body and even though he tried with all his might to suppress his anguish a cry ripped from his throat. Her words from his dream flooded his mind, '_I have nothing else to lose. My family is gone, I've lost Alistair, there is nothing else but for me to fulfill my duty.'_ Oh Maker, what have I done. Instead of using Loghain for the final blow as Riordan had intended she sacrificed herself because she believed she had lost everything. Alistair felt the bile rise in throat as his stomach lurched and what little content that remained in his stomach spilt out onto the cell floor. Alistair barely even noticed as the pain of truly losing her seared through his very soul ripping it to pieces. I am so sorry, Oh Amanda, can you ever forgive, my Love?

Alistair composed himself and asked. "Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Oh, because I have plans for you Alistair; you see, I am sending you to a place where you will have a lot of time on your hands; I just wanted to give you something to think about while you're there."

"Why are you doing this, Loghain? You won, what do you have to gain?"

A sneer spread across his lips. "Well, it could be that you took something that didn't belong to you, something that was mine, you defiled it and then you tossed it aside when you no longer had any use for it," Loghain said viciously.

Alistair's reddened with anger, "Amanda is…wasn't an object, she was a wonderful human being. Stop talking about her like she was a trophy to be won."

A cruel laugh escaped Loghain's lips, "Why not, you did? You treated her like a whore and then when she didn't want to play by your rules you tossed her aside."

"I didn't," Alistair whispered as the truth in Loghain's words rang in his ears.

"But you did. She delivered the final blow because she wanted to welcome death with open arms. She would rather die than live without you. It's kind of pathetic don't you think? Why sacrifice your life over a man that obviously never truly loved you in the first place?"

Alistair didn't even realize that he wasn't sitting anymore until he felt his body slam into Loghain's driving the man hard against the wall, knocking the breath out of him. Loghain never had time to react before Alistair's right fist connected with side of Loghain's face while at the same time he drove his knee into the man's groin. Loghain doubled over and Alistair's left fist came up smashed into his chin. Loghain slumped to the floor at the same time the guards rushed in crashed into Alistair knocking him to the floor.

Eventually, Loghain staggered to his feet and glared down at Alistair. "Enjoy your stay at Château de Désespoir," and then he leaned forward and spat in Alistair's face.

Château de Désespoir French for Home of Despair.


	6. Chapter 6 The End

**Chapter 5**

"This is the end, beautiful friend  
This is the end, my only friend, the end  
Of our elaborate plans, the end  
Of everything that stands, the end  
No safety or surprise, the end  
I'll never look into your eyes...again"

_The End – The Doors_

Alistair was moved under the cover of night to Château de Désespoir. They had blind folded him and shackled his hands and feet. Alistair had lost track of which direction they were taking him, but they had been aboard a ship. They were at sea for three days during which Alistair had received little food or water leaving him feeling extremely weak. When they had finally docked, still shackled the guards yanked him along as he stumbled and shuffled his way up a dark path that led up into the basement of the Château. He was marched into a dank looking office where a man with dark shoulder length hair greeted him with a sadistic smile.

"Aaah, you must be Alistair. I hear that we will have royalty staying at our humble abode. Should we call you, 'Your Highness' or 'Your Majesty'," the jailor said sarcastically.

Alistair ignored the dig at his noble status. He stared directly into the man eyes and declared, "Ser, I don't know who you are, but you must believe me when I tell you I am innocent."

The jailor let out cruel laugh.

"I'm sure that you hear that a lot, but it's true. Please you have to believe me. I am innocent," Alistair implored.

"Of that, I have no doubt, your Majesty. You see Château de Désespoir is where they hid all of their dirty little secrets," the jailor replied with a vicious grin. The jailor stood up, and began to walk down a dark path. He waved at the guards to follow with Alistair. "Come on, I don't have all day," the jailor said and then he laughed sarcastically, "Well, actually I do. I have nothing better to do then to beat you prisoners."

They walked into a small, round stone chamber that had a metal rod that was in the middle of the room that ran the length of the room and was attached to the stone walls on either side. Suspended in the middle of the rod was a pair of hand shackles.

"By the way, I don't think I properly introduced myself, I'm Jacque Durante and I will be your gracious host during your stay with us; which come to think of it will be for the rest of miserable life because the only way off this Isle is in a body bag. Now, string him up!" Durante commanded.

Alistair stared at the pole and the shackles and knew nothing good could come from that. As the guards started to drag him over Alistair struggled to pull away from them. Durante watched with amusement for a few minutes as the two guards tried to subdue the large Warden, but as his patience grew thin he walked over to the struggling threesome. "Hold him," Durante commanded. The guards grabbed Alistair under the arms and tried to hold him still. Durante placed two strong hands on Alistair's shoulders and brought his knee up into Alistair's groin. Alistair doubled over from the pain. Then Durante landed a punch square on Alistair's jaw that brought him to the floor.

"Now pick him up and secure him so that I can have my afternoon fun," Durante demanded.

The guards pulled Alistair over to the rod, removed the shackles from his hands, and replaced them with the shackles that were attached to the suspended rod. They placed them tightly around his wrists and then hoisted him up so that Alistair was suspended with his hands above his head and his feet barely touching the ground. The guards then ripped his shirt off of him exposing his back.

"Now being the generous host that I am I like to welcome all of guests with a well deserved beating and then on the anniversary of your arrive here you will receive subsequent beatings. However, those will be nothing to what you are about to endure," Durante explained jovially.

"Maker, help me," Alistair muttered.

"The Maker has nothing to do with this, your Majesty. As a matter of fact I don't believe that the Maker is in Thedas this time of year," Durante replied.

"The Maker has everything to do with it. He is everywhere and he sees everything," Alistair whispered.

"Really? Then let's make a deal, shall we? You ask the Maker for help and I'll stop the moment he shows up," Durante retorted.

Alistair heard the crack of the whip a split second before he felt the lash across his back. Searing pain ripped through his back and a cry of agony ripped from his lips. He heard the crack again just before blistering pain struck his spine like lightening. Alistair wrapped his hands around the chains in an attempt to ground himself and forced breath into his lungs. He dimly heard the crack again and nerve-shattering anguish pierced his back like a dagger. This time the whip burrowed deep into his skin, splitting it open and warm liquid begin to run down the small of his back.

The man wielding the whip was very skilled; each blow landed in almost the exact place as the previous strike, deepening the wound and intensifying the pain. The whip cracked again and again until Alistair felt his knees buckle. If he had not been chained to the pole he would have collapsed. Again…crack… the whip opened another crevice of flesh. Again…crack…the whip flayed open another section of skin and Alistair screamed out, "Please NO More!"

But his pleas were ignored. Again…crack…the skin continued to open and blood freely flowed down his back; with each lash Alistair's screams diminished into sobs and then to whimpers. When the last lash cracked across his back Alistair was barely conscious; his head lulled to the side. He heard Durante order the guards to release him and when they did he collapsed to the floor and everything went black.

**xxXxx**

He didn't know how long he had been unconscious, but as he started to wake the first thing he noticed was the searing pain in his back. Every nerve ending was screaming with agony and it felt like it was on fire. He moaned and began to stir when a soft voice whispered, "Please be still, your Majesty and let me tend to your wounds." Alistair felt a cool compress push against his wounds and he relaxed as the raging fire in his back began to subside to a more tolerable smolder. "These are healing poultices, the will help your back heal quicker and prevent infection. I have cast a pain suppressing spell to help reduce the pain and help you sleep," the mage whispered.

"Thank you," Alistair muttered.

"You're welcome," the mage replied.

Alistair tried to say something else, but the pain spell began to take effect and he drifted off to sleep.

_Alistair sat on the rock near the waterfall and watched as Amanda's hands slid over her naked body as she washed the dirt and blood off. He admired the view as the water cascaded through her hair, down her back and rolled over her beautiful backside. He was in awe of her perfectly curved hips, her deliciously cinched waist, the soft cream glow of her tanned skin. She was perfection…at least she was to him. _

_The need to be near her to her touch began to consume him and he quickly undressed and silently moved up behind her. His hands slid over hips and he pulled her back against him so that she could feel his need for her pressed against her backside. He brushed her hair aside and skimmed his teeth along the nape of her neck and her shoulders as his hands slid up and cupped her breasts. The soft weight filled his palm, his thumb grazed over her taut nipples as he slowly caressed them. _

_She moaned and leaned into him, "Mmmm, I was wondering if you were going to ever join me." _

_His lips moved up her neck to her ear as he sighed, "My Love, I'll always join you." His hips pushed into her luscious backside as he tried to ease some of the pressure that was building all too quickly. _

_But he felt her body stiffen as she replied, "That's not true, my Love and you know it." Something wasn't right. Her voice was wrong and her body was becoming cold. He spun her around and stared horrified into the dead, decomposing face of Amanda. "You left me, Alistair. You promised you would never leave me, but you left me to die."_

_Alistair backed away, "No….no, you're not real." He continued to back away from her…from it. _

"_You left me to die alone, Alistair."_

"_No,no,no,no," Alistair chanted over and over again as the Amanda corpse advanced toward him. "NO!"_

Alistair shot up and immediately felt the pain shoot through his back. He groaned as he eased himself back down on the mat on the floor. It's just a dream. That's all, just a dream. He tried to force himself to stay awake, but the pain overcame him and he slipped back into unconsciousness.

Over the next week Alistair drifted in and out of conscious. All of his dreams were filled with Amanda – sometimes they were happy dreams from their past, sometimes they were dreams of the future that now would never be and at times they were nightmares. At times when he awoke the mage was there and sometimes he wasn't, but there was always fresh healing poultices on his back.

Hunger finally forced Alistair fully wake up and for the first time he glanced around at his surroundings. His cell was no bigger than a twelve by twelve stone room. He was lying on a mat that he supposed was to be his bed. In the corner was a chamber pot and in the other corner stood the mage.

The mage smiled at him. "I am glad you are feeling better, your Majesty."

Alistair stared at the short man and whispered weakly, "Why?"

"Why what?" the mage said.

"Why are you helping me?"

"I'm from Ferelden and you are my rightful King. I can't help you escape because they would kill my family, but I will aid my King anyway that I can," the mage said.

Alistair smiled at the man, "Your kindest will not be forgotten."

Alistair saw pity in the man's eyes. "There is no way out of here, Sire, except in a body bag. I will do whatever I can to make your stay more comfortable."

"Why do they have a mage here? I wouldn't think they care one way or another regarding their prisoner's health," Alistair asked.

"Oh they don't, but a supply ship only stops at the Isle once a week so they keep a mage here just encase the Warden or one of the guards become ill."

"What is your name?" Alistair asked weakly.

"It's Brayden, but everyone calls me Bray," the mage said.

"It's nice to meet you, Bray."

"It's nice to meet you too, your Majesty."

"Well, Bray I am far from being a King right now so please call me Alistair."

"It's nice to meet you Alistair. I should be going before I am missed. I will check in on you when I can. I don't want to draw attention to you or me so I will only be able to stop by sporadically."

"I understand," Alistair replied.

Bray gave a slight bow and then quickly exited the room.

**xxXxx**

Alistair spent most of his days crouched in a corner where he could see a sliver of sun light and speck of the sky from the narrow iron covered window above his head. Often he glance over at the slashed marks he had made in the wall to help him keep track of how long he had been here; it had only be twenty-six months three weeks and five days, but it felt like an eternity. He had very little human interaction; the guards delivered his food in the morning and retrieved his chamber pot in the evenings through a small sliding slot at the bottom of his solid wood cell door. Just to break the monotonous silence and to preserve his sanity, Alistair had begun to recite verses from the Chant of Light. When that got old he started to sing bard's songs that Leliana had taught him during their travels. When that was no longer entertaining he began talking to himself, it was when he started to answer himself back he knew he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

At the beginning Alistair could not believe that this was truly happening to him. He kept praying to the Marker to wake him from this nightmare. This had to be some type of demon induced sleep that placed him in this torturous Fade realm. If he could just wake up everything in his world would right again – Amanda would be alive, the Archdemon destroyed and the two of them would rebuild the Wardens together like they had talked about during the beginning of their travels together. But as days had passed to weeks and weeks to months and months to years Alistair finally accepted that this wasn't a dream that he could wake up from because this in reality was now his life and that no matter how much he prayed to the Maker, he was not going to save him.

Having lost his faith in the Maker he found that he also had lost his hope for the future. He could see no way out of his current circumstances and he knew he couldn't spend the next twenty years in this wretched nightmare. So his thoughts began to dwell on suicide. There would be a peace in death that he would welcome. His body would not have to endure any more of the agony that this desolate hell hole provided so freely and he would be liberated from his torturous thoughts and dreams; and then in death he would be reunited with Amanda. He yearned to see her radiant smile, to feel her in his arms and to taste her sweet lips. He would wrap the noose around his neck tonight if he knew for certain he would see her beautiful face after he took his last breath.

For awhile Alistair found solace in the idea of his death, but then after he had received his second complimentary anniversary beating the slow simmer of anger that he had felt when he had first arrived at Château de Désespoir had now grown into a fine tuned boiling rage. It was his rage that persuaded him that his own death could wait until after the deaths of those that persecuted him. The images of Everett's hate filled face as he explained why he had betrayed him and the delight in that shone in Loghain's eyes as he told him that Amanda had been willing to deliver the final blow to the Archdemon because she wanted to die rather than to live without him only fueled the fires of his fury. At times he even cursed Amanda for conscripting Loghain into the Warden's. It was that decision that had started this whole mess in the first place. If she had just trusted that the two of them could have handled whatever was thrown at them. They had survived so much together up to that point they would have found away to survive the Archdemon and if need be Alistair would have willing given up his life for hers. However, with Amanda dead because she believed that she had lost him always turned his feelings of anger into ones of guilt so he rarely traveled down that path and devoted most of time and effort on Everett and Loghain.

As his ire grew with each passing day he sworn at the Maker, cursed the day that he was born and vowed revenge against everyone that brought him to this point in his life. He had begun to doubt his own existence, then his own sanity and then the existence of the Maker. If there really was a Maker how could he allow an innocent man to fall into such a dire situation? If there was a Maker, how could he allow an honorable and courageous woman like Amanda to die and allow a deceitful friend and a cunning politician to live? No true deity would permit such a heinous injustice to take place. So the only logical conclusion is that there is no Maker.

During the first year that Alistair had been imprisoned he had scratched into the wall, "Vengeance is mine, saith the Maker." During the second year of his imprisonment he had scratched out 'saith the Maker' and replaced it with 'vows Alistair Theirin'. And he allowed his mind to wonder through some very dark halls as he plotted all the delicious ways he would enact his revenge. It was the hatred of men, not the Maker that had plunged him into this life of misery.

So Alistair squatted in his corner starring at the speck of blue sky he could see through his window as he relegated Everett and Loghain to the most horrific tortures he could imagine. He envisioned how sweet it would feel to have his hands wrapped around Loghain's throat and slowly squeeze the life out of him. A smile crept across his lips as he pictured the light leaving the man's eyes forever.

The sound of dirt and stone moving on the floor beside him distracted Alistair from his fantasy just in time to see the floor stone slide to the side and old man's head pop through it.

Author's note – the dialogue between Alistair and Durante at the beginning of the chapter was taken from the movie. It was just too good not to use or to try and reduplicate.


	7. Chapter 7 Escaping

**Thank you to everyone that has added this to their favorites or alert list and thanks to everyone that has reviewed this story. I appreciate your thoughts and comments on the story. Please keep the reviews coming. It let me know you are enjoying this dark tale. **

**Chapter 6**

"I've been thinking for some time, of escaping  
More than once it's really crossed my mind, escaping  
There's a little bit further left to go  
We're not too fast and we're not too slow  
The deadline's ours, we're doing fine"

_Escaping by Blues Traveler_

Alistair stared in utter disbelief as the head of a grey haired old man poked through the opening that had been created in his cell floor. He rubbed his eyes just to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating. The old man was still there and he stared back at Alistair in complete bewilderment too. The man gingerly began to crawl through the hole in the floor. Alistair stood up, offered the old man his hand and assisted him through the hole. Once the man was through the hole he stood there and stared at Alistair and out the little window high in the wall.

When the man didn't say anything for a few minutes Alistair asked, "Where the bloody hell did you come from?"

"You'll have to excuse me, but I was under the impression that I was digging east toward the outer wall," the old man replied in a shaky, raspy voice.

"Digging?" That was all Alistair could muster as he went back to the corner and crotched back down.

"Forgive my rudeness; I am Conte Ignacio Guido of Antiva. I have been a prisoner in Château de Désespoir for eleven years. Six of which I have spent digging this tunnel to freedom, but it seems that I have fallen short," Ignacio said as he began to laugh madly. Alistair just stared wide-eyed at the man in disbelief; he felt as mad as the man sounded. He bent down and looked Alistair in the eyes, "Now if you wouldn't mind, could I stand on your shoulders?"

"What? You want to do what?" Alistair asked still astonished at the appearance of this man. Alistair hadn't had any contact or conversation with another human being in over two years and he was having trouble formulating a cohesive sentence.

"I would like to stand on your shoulders and see how far off I am from the outer wall," Ignacio replied patiently.

So Alistair hoisted him up on his shoulders, he held the man there for several minutes until Ignacio asked to be let back down. "I have not seen the sky for eleven years. My room has a window that allows light in but the tower blocks the sky. There were times that I thought I might never see it again. Thank you, Maker for letting me gaze upon its beauty again."

"There is no talk of the Maker in here," Alistair grunted.

Ignacio stared at the inscription that Alistair had carved into the wall and then back at Alistair. The old man gave a slight nodded as if in understanding, "So revenge has replaced the Maker in your heart."

Alistair nodded. Ignacio laughed and crawled back down into the hole. "Follow me," he said over his shoulder.

"Why?"

"Maybe you will discover why the Maker has kept you alive these past two years," Ignacio replied.

Alistair followed him through the dark tunnel back to his cell and when he immerged he was astonished. The walls were filled with mathematical equations, scientific theory, and paragraphs written in Antivan and Orlesian. "How did you manage to do all of this and dig a tunnel by just the hours of daylight?"

"Well, I worked at night too," Ignacio said.

"How in Maker's name did you do that? Do you have cat's eyes?" Alistair asked.

Ignacio laughed. "No, but the Maker furnished man with intelligence so that he could overcome his natural surroundings. So I made light so that I could work at night and dig during the day."

Now Alistair laughed sarcastically. "You made light. Pray tell how did you do that?"

"I separated the fat from the meat they served to me. I saved enough fat, melted it down and made oil from it. Here is my lamp." Ignacio showed him a small torch.

"But how did you light it?"

"Before I was imprisoned here I was held at a much less secure location. I managed to collect these two pieces of flint and a large piece of char cloth. In order to light it I pretended to have a skin disorder and asked for Sulphur which they supplied. I have used it sparingly, but it has come in handy," Ignacio explained.

Alistair stared at Ignacio in awe of the strength and perseverance of the old man's mind. He had not allowed his circumstances to destroy him and Alistair greatly admired that while at the same time it shamed him that he hadn't been mentally stronger.

Humbled by the man in front of him, Alistair whispered, "You mentioned escape."

"There are two possibilities for reaching the outer wall and eventually the sea. I simple went the wrong way. With two of us digging in the opposite direction we could possibly do it in…" Ignacio paused as he made a mental calculation. "We could do it in less than five years."

Alistair began to laugh hysterically. He couldn't stop. "Five years? You're joking right?"

Ignacio looked at him, "Oh do you have something else to pass the time? Do you have some pressing appointment you have to go to?" Alistair continued to laugh at him, but Ignacio approached him every seriously. "Alistair, in return for your aid I offer something priceless; something that will aid you in your quest for revenge, Sire."

Alistair stopped dead in his tracks and glared at him. "You know who I am?"

"I fought beside your father in numerous battles. Even with your long unkempt hair and thick beard I recognized you. You are the spitting image of Maric. Your signature on your vow for vengeance just reinforced my theory."

Alistair just gave a curt nod, "And what is this priceless object you offer for my aid? My freedom?" Alistair questioned sarcastically.

"Something even more valuable than that because as you know freedom can be easily taken away," Ignacio replied as he paused and looked directly into Alistair's eyes. "I offer you knowledge. I will teach you everything I have learned. I will teach you economics, mathematics, languages, philosophy, science, military history, and noble etiquette…everything a King would need to know to rule a country," Ignacio said.

"I am a far cry from being a king. Why would I need to know that?" Alistair asked bitterly.

"Because success is the sweetest revenge; the knowledge that I offer you will help make you successful, Alistair. It will help you take back your throne if that is what you truly want." Ignacio responded.

Alistair considered what he said and then replied, "When do we start?"

**xxXxx**

Over the next several years Alistair and Ignacio worked tireless during the day on the tunnel and at night on Alistair's education. The slot opened twice a day, once for the chamber pot which is where they hid the dirt and for their food tray. Neglect became their ally and even as they dug their tunnel Ignacio would quiz him on his studies endlessly.

_What is economics? Ignacio asked._

"_Economics is a science that deals with the production, distribution, and consumption of commodities," Alistair answered. _

"_Now define it in Antivan,"_

"_Le scienze economiche sono una scienza che tratta la produzione, la distribuzione ed il consumo di merci," Alistair replied._

"_And in Orlesian."_

"_La science économique est une science qui traite la production, la distribution, et la consommation de denrées," Alistair answered. _

"_Excellent! Now define social economics," Ignacio stated._

Eventually, Alistair became well versed in all of the areas of studies that Ignacio had taught him. Ignacio even taught him all of the dances that were performed at all the noble courts in Thedas and to his astonishment Alistair discovered that he actually was a very good dancer and he enjoyed it. He would have enjoyed it even more with a beautiful woman in his arms instead of grey haired old man.

On night while they were digging Alistair finally asked the question that had been bothering him for years. "You once said you fought alongside my father. How did an Antivan noble come to fight in the Ferelden war?"

"Well, as I am sure you know the Antivan Crows are the ones that hold the true power in Antiva," Ignacio paused and Alistair nodded so he continued. "Well, I was also the general in King Alfonso's army. Which is really not much of an army because who would really be foolish enough to attack Antiva when the Crows would be the organization that your country would really have to face in retaliation. The Antivan Army really is just a front for the Crows if they need to use the military as facade for a contract. As it turned out the Crows did have a contract on a noble in Ferelden during the time of Orlesian occupation. Under the disguise of bringing aid to Maric's cause my small army fought in several key battles with Maric and his men. Your father was a brilliant strategist and extremely savvy. It was an honor to fight with him," Ignacio said.

"I will have to take your word on that since I never met the man," Alistair replied bitterly and before Ignacio could reply he asked, "So how did you end up here?"

"I was very close with, Ciro, the leader of the Crows. We were kindred souls. He died in the last Ferelden battle amongst rumors that he had hidden his limitless fortune. His successor, Brutello, interrupted our close friendship as a romantic one and assumed that I knew where said fortune was. When I arrived home to Antiva, Brutello had me arrested."

"Why?" Alistair interrupted.

"Brutello wanted Ciro's wealth. He did not believe that I had no idea where the treasure was hidden so he had me brought here to refresh my memory. He is still waiting for my memory to be refreshed. So here I have remained with only the Maker to keep me company until he sent me you," Ignacio stated.

Alistair laughed sinisterly. "I doubt that. The Maker is no more real than your treasure, Old Man."

Ignacio gave him a knowing grin and said, "Well, see."

Alistair eyed him suspiciously, but kept on digging.

The following day Alistair was relaxing in his room reading one of the books that Ignacio had given him to study when the door to his cell quietly opened. Alistair stared dumbfounded as the door slowly creaked open. His door hadn't opened except on the date of his arrival anniversary. Alistair quickly looked over at the calendar that he had created and that date was several months away. Brayden stepped over the threshold and abruptly closed the door. "Your Majesty, I think I have finally found away to free you," Brayden said.

"How?"

"Do you remember me telling you that the only way out of here was in a body bag?"

Alistair nodded so Brayden continued, "Well, last night one of the prisoners died in their sleep. They just placed the body in a body bag and they plan on taking it to the cliff later this afternoon during high tide and tossing it into the ocean. If you can help me carry the prisoner's body back here to your cell we can place you in the body bag so when they toss the body into the ocean it will be you the throw over the cliff. It will be days if not longer before they discover that the body in here isn't you and then they will assume that you made the switch on your own using your tunnel."

Alistair looked at him inquisitively. "You know about the tunnel?"

"Yes, your Majesty, at times when your digging became too loud I would cast a silencer spell to cover up the noise," Brayden replied.

That is when the realization hit him. "The prisoner that died last night was it…" Alistair didn't have to even finish the sentence the horrified look on Brayden's face told him everything he needed to know. And a silent prayer went out to him. Oh my, friend why couldn't you hold on just a little longer?

"I am so sorry, your Majesty. If I had known he had been ill I would have tried to heal him, but I didn't know."

Alistair looked at him and for the first time in a very long time he felt compassion and it felt good. "It's okay, Brayden. I know you would have. Now, tell me about this fall off the cliff."

"Well, the cliff isn't too high. The fall may injure you, but it won't kill you and I will send healing poultices with you just encase," Brayden said.

"Okay, so do we use the tunnel to move Ignacio's body?" Alistair asked.

"No, the quickest way will be for me to cast a concealment spell over both of and then move the body," Brayden replied.

"Sounds good, let's get moving," Alistair said as his heart began to race with realization that he might soon be free of this place. Brayden cast the spell and the two of them moved undetected through the corridors to Ignacio's cell. They hastily entered the cell. Alistair and Brayden swiftly undid the ties on the body bag and removed Ignacio's body. Alistair looked at his friend. His hands were balled into fists, but Alistair grasped one anyways and whispered, "Thank you my friend, I owe you my life and my sanity. You saved me and gave me hope when I believed all hope was lost. I am forever in your debt."

Alistair squeezed his friends hand and was about to lay it across his friend's chest when he felt a piece of paper. Alistair flipped Ignacio's hand over and saw the edge of a piece of paper protruding from his fist. With some effort Alistair pried open his fist and remove the parchment. Alistair hurriedly opened the tattered document. It was a map and at the bottom in messy script the words 'Brutello's refreshment course'. Alistair grinned, "You wily old bastard," he whispered. Alistair immediately knew this was a map to Ciro's limitless treasure. Alistair folded the paper and placed it in his pants pocket. He looked over at Brayden who was patiently waiting in the corner for him to say his final good-byes. Alistair gave a nod and Brayden cast the concealment spell and they made their way back to his cell with Ignacio's body.

They placed Ignacio on his sleeping mat, turned him away from the door and covered him with a blanket. Then they made their way once again back to Ignacio's cell and Brayden laced him up in the body bag. "I have made the knot on the inside so you can reach it easily. Good luck, your Majesty. It has been an honor to serve you while you were here."

"Thank you, Brayden. I meant what I said, your kindest will not be forgotten," Alistair replied.

It seemed like days later, but it was actually only a few hours before two of the guards entered the room and picked up Ignacio's body to carry to the cliff.

"By the Maker, for an old man he sure weights a lot," one of the guards grumbled.

"Holy shite, you aren't kidding. Those loose clothes really hid how much muscle he had," the other replied in a strained voice.

"How do you maintain muscle in a place like this?" The first guard asked.

"How the bloody hell do I know, but if I had know that he weighted this much I would have made Leo and Tad help carry this damn thing," the second replied.

"It's a beautiful day for a burial at sea, don't you think boys?" a third voice asked. Alistair recognized the voice. He looked out the opening through the laced rope and saw the smug face of Durante. He began to feel this anger rise as he recalled all the beatings that he had endured from this man, the callus way he had dismissed his innocence and how he was willing to let blameless men suffer life imprisonment because he was paid to look the other way. 'Vengeance is mine' Alistair chanted to himself as the carted him of toward the cliff.

Alistair could immediately tell when they exited the castle. The fresh air assaulted his nostrils and even through the dirty body bag it was the sweetest thing Alistair had smelled in years. Through the opening in the bag Alistair could tell that the sun was about to set. Of course that would be the perfect time to dispose of a body; just enough light for them to see what they were doing, but not enough for a ship passing by to make out that it was a body they were throwing over the cliff.

As they neared the cliff the sounds of the crashing waves grew louder and the smell of sea salt became stronger. Alistair tugged at the knot a little so that the opening was wider and he could see his surroundings a little better. The guards came to a sudden halt as the sounds of the waves became almost deafening. Through the opening Alistair could see Durante standing beside the body bag on Alistair's right so the cliff must be to his left.

The guard holding the top part of Alistair's body yelled, "Okay on the count of three."

"One," the guard yelled and Alistair felt his body swing forward and then back again towards Durante.

"Two," the guard yelled and he felt his body swing forward and back again as the momentum of his weight caused the bag to pick up speed.

"Three," the guard yelled and his body swung forward, then back towards Durante and Alistair whipped his hand out of the bag opening and latched onto Durante's shirt. The guards not realizing that Alistair had a hold of Durante swung forward and let go of the body bag. The weight and the momentum of the bag pulled both of them over the side of the cliff.


	8. Chapter 8 Free Bird

**Chapter 7**

"If I leave here tomorrow  
Would you still remember me?  
For I must be traveling on, now  
'Cause there's too many places  
I've got to see

But, if I stayed here with you, girl  
Things just couldn't be the same  
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now  
And this bird, you cannot change"

_Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd_

Alistair felt his body slam into the water and a moment later he heard a second crash which Alistair assumed was Durante. Alistair felt the body bag begin to fill up with water and sink into the dark depths below. He took one last gasp of air before the bag slipped below the surface. He quickly went to work on the knots and began unlacing the bag.

A minute later Alistair emerged on the surface gasping for breath. The sun had almost completely set and there was little light left as he quickly surveyed his surroundings. He glanced back toward the cliff and he could make out the silhouette of a man….DURANTE. Alistair rapidly began to swim directly for him. Durante saw him coming for him and started to swim in the opposite direction, but Alistair quickly caught up to him. Alistair grabbed him from behind, yanked him back against his chest, slipped his arm around his neck and began to choke him. Durante splashed and clawed at Alistair, pulling him under the water several times, but Alistair held on tight using the strength in his legs to keep kicking the two of them to the surface. After a few minutes Durante's efforts slowed down and became weaker. Still clawing at Alistair's arm, but with very little force; Alistair leaned toward his ear and hissed, "Remember, the Maker has nothing to do with this, Durante. It won't be him that takes your life this night." Durante stopped struggling all together, he went limp in Alistair's arms. Alistair kept his arm tightly around his neck a few more minutes before he released and the man's body slid into the dark depths of the sea. Once again, Alistair inspected the area around him; he noticed an island not too far in the distance and he began to swim towards it.

The moon was now high in the sky and Alistair knew he had been swimming for hours, but the Island didn't seem any closer. All of the digging in the tunnels had kept his body in fairly good shape, but it wasn't enough now to keep the muscles in his arms and legs from burning with pain as they begged him to stop. Occasionally, he would stop to rest and float on his back as he gave his muscles a break and caught his breath, but he wouldn't stop for long before he would push himself to continue. He was still a couple of miles from shore and honestly didn't think he could go on when a large log drifted by him. He grabbed it and clung to it for dear life. He heaved his chest onto and attempted to kick towards shore, but his legs refused to listen to the signals his brain was sending. He rested his head against the log and closed his eyes determined to only take a short break.

The next thing Alistair noticed was the warmth of the sun and the scratching of sand on the side of his face as he lay on his stomach. It felt good as the rays hit his cheeks and it brought a smile to his face. Then he felt a sharp object poke at his side and he winced with pain. A voice yell, "Capitano, the man is alive."

A few minutes later he felt a boot on his shoulder give him a hard shove and roll him over onto his back. He felt the blade under his chin and squinted as he tried to open his eyes. The sun silhouetted the outline of a very shapely woman standing over him and as she spoke Alistair knew he recognized the voice, but he couldn't place from where. "Well, mi amigo, I would ask who you are, but the tattered clothes, mangled hair and beard tell me that Château de Désespoir has recently lost a tenant."

The Captain extended her hand to Alistair and helped him to his feet. With the sun now behind him he glanced into her deeply tanned face and he immediately recognized her as the Captain of the Siren's Call. As he stood up and dusted the sand off of his chest he noticed her sizing him up and down. Alistair hoped that she didn't recognize him. He knew that he looked extremely different now than from the man that had spent a very memorable night with both her and Amanda.

After a moment of inspection she continued, "I am Isabela, the captain of the Siren's Call. I am a smuggler and a pirate. My men and I have come to this island to bring ship justice to one of my crew by burying him alive because he tried to keep some gold for himself instead of sharing it with his amigos. That's as good as stealing from a crew member's trunk. Strangely enough some of his loyal friends are adamant that I show him mercy. Which of course I cannot do because I would lose control of my whole crew that is why you are such a lucky find"

Alistair skeptically raised an eye brow, "And why is that?"

Isabela grinned at him. "Well, you see you provide me with a way to show Raulo," she paused and pointed to man tied up a little further up the beach, "the low life scum, a little mercy while at the same time not appearing weak to my crew. And as a bonus, my boys will get to see a little sport as well."

Alistair's brow furrowed, "And how do I accomplish this exactly?"

Isabela smiled brightly at him, "My crew and I watch you and Raulo fight to the death. If Raulo wins, we welcome him back as a crew member and a brother. If you win, I have given Raulo a chance to live and redeem himself, even if he did not take advantage of it, and you get to take his place on my ship and become a member of my crew."

"Aaah, what if I don't want to become a pirate?"

Isabela nonchalantly waved her hand and replied, "Well, then we slit your throat and we are a bit undermanned for a while."

Alistair paused as he considered the proposal and then smiled. "I believe that piracy is the life for me and I would be delighted to kill your amigo, the low life scum.

"Excellent!" Isabela exclaimed. "By the way, Raulo is the best dagger fighter I have ever seen."

"Maybe you should get out more," Alistair said dryly.

Isabel laughed. "Maybe I should. Release Raulo, give him his dagger and get our friend here a dagger too. We are going to have a little fun boys."

Alistair and Raulo began to circle each other as they tried to get a feel for one another. Alistair remained patient and waited for Raulo to make the first move which he did a few minutes later as he lunged forward. Alistair twisted out of his way and jabbed at his back. However, Raulo was quick on his feet and pivoted out of the way just in time to miss the blow.

Both of them crouched into a fighting stance once again and began circling each other. Raulo swung his dagger toward Alistair's face and Alistair brought his dagger up just in time to stop the blow. He used his weight to push off Raulo's dagger throwing the man off balance. Raulo stumbled but remained on his feet. He backed up a step as they continued the dance… swing, block, attack, parry, the sound of steel clashed over and over again and the crew from the Siren let out hoots and hollers as they were completely engrossed in the fight.

Spurred on by the cheers of his fellow crew members Raulo charged at Alistair, but Alistair used a move he had seen Amanda perform hundreds of time; he rolled under the pirate's charge and as Alistair comes up behind Raulo, he delivered a blow to the back of the man's knees causing Raulo to stagger forward. Alistair than twisted around and used his forward momentum to hit the pirate in the back with the blunt side of his blade. Raulo fell forward his dagger falling a few feet in front of him.

Raulo reached to grab the blade just as Alistair kicked it out of reach. Raulo rolled over and glared at him. Alistair bent down, placed the dagger under the man's chin and whispered, "If you wish to live hold your tongue." Raulo gave a quick nod.

With the knife still pressed to Raulo's throat, Alistair turned to Isabela, "Capitano, allow Raulo to live. He has already suffered through the possibility of being buried alive, your crew has had their fun and those who wanted mercy for Raulo will get it. By keeping the two of us you will gain another skilled fighter for your crew."

Isabela smiled, "It's an offer I can't refuse."

Raulo grabbed the collar of Alistair's shirt and whispered, "I swear on my the graves of my mother and father that I am your man forever. I will follow you into the Black City if need be."

Alistair clasped Raulo's hand, pulled him up and replied, "I'm counting on that."

A grizzly looking sailor that stood beside Isabela asked, "What is his name?"

Isabela looked at him and a beautiful smile spread across her face, "Re Perirone."

Alistair stared at her in astonishment. "Perished King? You knew all along who I was?"

She walked over to him and placed her hand on his chest. "That was a very memorable night, not one a girl easily forgets. You're looking a little rough around the edges, Alistair, but I would recognize those warm honey eyes of yours anywhere." She ran her hands down his chest and let her fingers rest on his hip bone. She lifted her head and gazed up at him, "I remember how wonderful your big strong hands felt on my... helm."

"It's been a while since I've…aahh, I have been at the helm of a ship," Alistair replied.

"No need to worry, Lover. It will all come back to you. Let the ship remind of the tasks that needs done. She will guide you with her sighs... her shudders, her gentle swaying as she rides the crests of the waves," Isabela purred.

Alistair smiled down at her and for the first time in years he felt the stirring of desire deep in the pit of stomach.

**xxXxx**

Alistair had spent the last three years of his life aboard the Siren's Call. It had been a good life, an easy life one that didn't require much thought and even less emotions. He had enjoyed his time with Isabel and over the years they both had given and received exquisite pleasure from each other. He cared about Isabela and he believed that he loved her, but he knew that he wasn't in love her. And he didn't know if he would ever love anyone again the way that he had loved Amanda. Even now, eight years after her death the very thought of her could bring him unsurpassable joy or excruciating pain depending on what memory he was relieving. So he did what he always did when it came to her, he pushed the thoughts, memories and feeling down deep and moved on.

As the ship pulled into the Denerim dock his heart began to race. He hadn't laid eyes on this city in eight years and it looked as if the country had done an excellent job of rebuilding its self after the Blight and a quick pain rippled through his chest as he thought about the plans he had made for his country, but now he had new plans. It was time for some retribution to be paid; the day of reckoning for his enemies had finally arrived.

Isabela came up behind him and slipped her arms around him, "Lover, you aren't going to bring justice to those who so richly deserve it by staring at the city while still aboard my ship."

Alistair turned to her and Isabela placed a large pouch in his hands. "Two hundred sovereigns should set you on the path to bringing those who wronged you to their knees and then hopefully than you will find some peace, Love."

Alistair pulled her into his arms and kissed her cheek, "Grazie, la mia bellezza dolce."

Isabela looked up into his face as she runs her fingers through his long golden blond hair, down his cheek to blond goatee and she smiled a wicked grin. "They will never see you coming. You don't look or act anything like the Alistair I meet at the Pearl all those years ago. The only thing that might give you way is your eyes, but even they are not as innocent as they were three years ago when I saw you on the beach. No Love, they won't know what hit them until you reveal yourself to them."

Alistair pulled her to his chest and his lips crashed into hers as he passionately kissed her good-bye. When their lips parted she whispered, "Always remember mi re Perirone, you always have an ally in me. All you have to do is ask."

Alistair kissed her forehead and then backed away from her, "I know and I will. Au revoir, Amour." Then he turned and quickly walked down the gang plank way from the woman, who for the past three years had been his friend, his confidant, his ally and his lover. Now he was walking away from her and he had never felt so alone in his life.

**xxXxx**

Raulo was waiting for him at the end of the gang plank. Alistair handed him a hundred sovereigns and told him to buy a boat that would only require a three crew men, but it need to have a large hull for cargo. He also told him to find a one additional crew member that could be reliable, but whose silence could be bought. Then Alistair told him secure both of them a room at the Pearl.

Raulo nodded, "It will be done, Re Perirone"

Then Alistair made his way over to Eamon's Denerim Estate. Alistair approached the guard at the front door. "Hello good Ser, I wish to have an audience with Arl Eamon."

The guard barely even looked at Alistair, "The Arl is a very busy man so unless you have an appointment you will not be able to see him today."

"I understand the Arl is very a busy man, however I am here on Grey Warden business and it's urgent that I speak with him," Alistair said.

Before Alistair left the ship he had dressed in a beautiful silverite scaled armor set that Isabela had purchased him. The guard now scrutinized Alistair and must have deemed his story believable, "Wait here, I will be back shortly."

A few minutes later a man with dark reddish brown hair dressed in mages robes came out to greet him. "Hello, I am Connor Guerrin. My father is back at Redcliff Castle. I hope that I can be of some help."

Alistair was hard pressed to hide his shocked expression. He couldn't believe this was the little boy that they had saved from the desire demon all those years ago. Alistair quickly did the math - it had been nine years ago and Connor was eleven at the time so the timeline fit. Donning his best Orlesian accent Alistair said, "I am Warden Alaire Gaylor. Is there a place that we could speak in private?"

"Of course, Warden," Connor said and led him to the Arl's study. Connor gestured for Alistair to sit in a chair near the fireplace, than Connor poured each of them a glass of wine and took a seat beside Alistair.

"I am surprised to see a mage outside the Circle even if that mage is from a noble house," Alistair said.

Connor politely smiled, "I am actually the one of the court mages. Queen Anora likes to have several mages on hand at court at all times. Since my father has an estate in Denerim, when I am not needed at court, I spend a lot of time here helping him conduct business when he is away from Denerim."

"I see," Alistair replied.

"Please Warden, tell me how I can help you," Connor said.

"My Lord…"

Connor held up a hand and waved to stop him, "I am a mage, I hold no titles. Please call me Connor."

"Very well, Connor, I am actually here on a personal quest. You see I was a Warden at the same time Alistair was conscripted and joined the Wardens. We became instant friends and he became like the brother I never had. We were both sent to Ostagar together, but a month before the battle King Calian had sent a small group of Wardens up to the Feleden/Orlais boarder to meet the Orlesian Wardens and to escort them back to Ostagar for the battle. I was a part of that company. However, once at the boarder Loghain's men refused to allow us back into the country. I personally felt responsible for what happened at Ostagar, but felt hope when rumors began to spread that two Wardens had survived and were continuing to fight against the Blight and gather armies to fight the Archdemon. I knew in my heart that one of those Wardens had to be Alistair. So when I received the news that Alistair had fallen during the final battle it grieved me deeply. I had hoped that speaking with a family member might give me more insight into his death. I am just looking for some closure," Alistair said mournfully.

"I am truly sorry for the loss of your fellow Warden and brother. If there is any information that I can provide that would help I would be happy to assist. What is it you need to know?" Connor asked.

"Well, can you tell me in your own words exactly how Alistair died?"

"Oh, so you haven't heard the tale?" Connor asked.

"You see, I have been in the Deep Roads for several years now helping the Legion of the Dead. I have heard bits and pieces of the story," Alistair said and he was surprised how easily the lie rolled off of his tongue.

"Well, I am not sure if you know, but at the Landsmeet before the final battle Alistair was named the new King of Ferelden and betrothed to Queen Anora. When reports arrived that the darkspawn horde was headed for Redcliff Warden Amanda Cousland and Warden Loghain Mac Tir headed to Redcliff while Alistair stayed here in Denerim to defend the city if need be. As it turned out that was a very wise decision because the horde turned and instead of heading to Redcliff it headed straight for Denerim.

Alistair strategically gave orders to the royal and city guards that tactically gave an advantage to the guards that enabled them to hold the city for three days which allowed the Wardens and their armies to arrive in time to fight during the final battle.

Alistair fought bravely and issued military orders from the Palace. On the last day of the final battle the darkspawn had finally broken through the gate and began to swarm the city. Alistair along with his royal guards admirably defended the Palace and saved many lives. Shortly after Amanda and Loghain had made their way to the top of Fort Drakon a pack of darkspawn ogres stampeded toward the tower to prevent the Wardens from killing the Archdemon. Alistair faced the ogres head on to give the other two Wardens enough time to kill the Archdemon. It was during his assault on the pack that an ogre attacked him from behind and crushed him to death. Alistair died a hero, defending the city he loved against the vile creatures he hated. Afterwards, the Commander of the Grey insisted that a statue be erected in the Palace courtyard in order to commemorate the King's heroic actions."

When Connor had finished Alistair sat there utterly shocked. He was sure that Loghain would have found away to disgrace him, to dishonor him and drag his name through the mud. Never would he have believed that Loghain would set him up as a hero to be honored. That made no sense.

"Who identified the body?" Alistair asked.

Connor looked confused, "Pardon me?"

"How do they know it was Alistair that the ogre crushed?" Alistair asked feeling very surreal asking questions about his own supposed death.

"Oh, Alistair's childhood friend Arl Everett identified him," Connor replied.

Once again Alistair was stunned by this new information. "Oh, I had not heard that Alistair was friends with an Arl."

"Well, at the time he wasn't an Arl. Due to his heroic actions during the Battle of Denerim and tirelessly fighting alongside the King, Queen Anora appointed him the new Arl of Denerim."

Alistair had just taken a sip of wine when Connor announced that last bit of information and he nearly choked to death. "Are you okay, Ser?" Connor asked.

Alistair nodded as he tried to compose himself. So Loghain had definitely rewarded Everett for his betrayal. That's fine, the higher they are the harder the fall.

"Did they give the King a royal burial with a pyre?" Alistair asked.

"No, there was no official funeral because the King's body was never discovered. They held a memorial service for him shortly after the Blight ended," Connor said.

"You said that they erected a statue for Alistair, have the erected one Amanda?" Alistair asked. He wanted to visit it and say his farewell to her.

"Yes, in Highever on a cliff that overlooks the sea," Connor said. Of course it would be in Highever. She loved her homeland, she drew strength from it. Whenever she would talk about Highever it would add color to her cheeks and give her voice an extra high lilt. Alistair smiled as he thought about the times that she had described her home to him.

"And is that where she is has been laid to rest," Alistair asked.

"Laid to rest?" Connor questioned and Alistair nodded. "But the Commander of the Grey isn't dead. Amanda delivered the final blow and she was gravely injured. Many thought she wouldn't make it, but Wynne and several other mages worked on her day and night for two weeks before she was finally out of the woods and regained consciousness. Although my father and her friend Zevran thought she would die from grief when she found out that Alistair had died during the final battle. I was young at the time, but as long as I live I will never forget the sickening wail of grief that had escaped her lips when she was told the news."

Alistair felt his heart beating out of his chest. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. She was alive…not dead…alive. How? Did Loghain lie about why a Warden must be the one to kill an Archdemon? He didn't think so because that just sound right and resonated with him as a Warden. Then how did she live?

And then it hit him like a ton of bricks…his Amanda, his Mandi was alive. Oh Sweet Andraste, he needed to see her, to hold her, to taste her sweet lips, to feel her beating heart next to his. OH MAKER, she lived! The sheer joy that was now coursing through his veins was the most wonderful feeling in the world. Screw his plans for revenge, all he truly needed was alive and every ounce of his being was screaming to run to her.

"Where is she?" Alistair muttered.

"Pardon me?" Connor asked.

"Where is Commander Cousland?" Alistair asked.

"Oh, well Arlessa Mac Tir is at Vigil's Keep in Amaranthine. The Keep is the new Ferelden Warden headquarters," Connor said nonchalantly, oblivious to the fact that all of the color had just drained from Alistair's face and he was rasping for breath.

"Arlessa?" Was all Alistair could manage as his vision began to blur.

"You have been in the Deep Roads for a while. Queen Anora gave the Grey Wardens the land and title that once belonged to Readon Howe," Connor said.

"You said Arlessa Mac Tir. Who is she married too?" Alistair asked.

Even as he asked the question he braced himself for the answer that he knew was coming, but it was ten times worse when Connor spoke the words, "Loghain Mac Tir."

"How long after Alistair's death did they marry?"

"Well, that is the strange part because even though it was obvious that Amanda was still in mourning over the loss of the King, she married Loghain less than a month after her she ended the Blight."

Alistair felt his stomach lurch and bile begin to rise. He grabbed a nearby planter as the content of his stomach came up and as his stomach lurched again his heart shattered into a ten thousand pieces.

Re Perirone is Italian for perished king.

Grazie, La mia bellezza dolce is Italian for Thank you, my sweet beauty

Au revoir, Amour French for good-bye Love.


	9. Chapter 9 Grenade

**Okay this is the last chapter and then I go on Christmas break. I hope that everyone was a Very Merry Christmas and safe and Happy New Year's! **

**Chapter 8**

"Throw my hand on a blade for ya  
I'd jump in front of a train for ya  
You know I'd do anything for ya  
Oh, I would go through all this pain  
Take a bullet straight through my brain  
Yes, I would die for you baby  
But you won't do the same"

_Grenade – Bruno Mars_

Alistair apologized profusely to Connor and quickly excused himself claiming that exhaustion from his trip must have caused him to become ill. Alistair staggered back towards the Pearl in a daze. Part of him seethed with anger towards her and his body shook with fury, but part of him was in such severe pain he could barely walk. The pain was worse than anything he had ever felt before. Worse than having a Hurlock run him through with a sword, worse than the beatings he had received at Château de Désespoir and worse than hearing the news that the love of his life was dead and that he was responsible for it.

His brain screamed out in agony – 'AMANDA! AMANDA! AMANDA! How the FUCK could you marry HIM? HIM of all the fucking men in this world and you had to marry the lying murdering traitor that cost me five years of my life in a hell hole that had caused me endless amounts of pain!'

The insanity of it all rocked him to his very core. The thought of that man touching her as he had once touched her, kissing her soft lips as he had kissed her sweet lips many times or tasting her and being in her…Alistair felt his stomach lurch again and he ducked into an alley as he gagged on the bile that came up.

How could she love him the way the two of them had loved each - all of the little intimate moments that lovers share with each other, all of the little knowing gestures that were made in mixed company and the silly inside jokes that were shared – how could she possibly share those things with a man as cold and calculating as Loghain? How could she love Loghain the way she had loved him? Did she whisper in Loghain's ear at night that she had faith him? Did she caress his chest and tell him what a great man he was? Did she feather kisses down his neck and tell him that she would stand by him always? Did she run her fingers through his hair and cradled the nap of his neck as she lied and told him, "please remember I love you. I always will. You are my reason for living. You saved me from the despair and guilt that I had over my family and showed me what true love really is. Please hold onto that no matter what the future brings us."

"Aaaaaargh!" Alistair let out a horrific cry of agony, anger and frustration. He leaned against wall and slid down to ground as his body shook with sickening, grieving wails of pain. He was better off believing she was dead than to know that she was alive and married to that vile treasonous son of a bitch. He had lost her again…when he was so close to having her back, he had lost her again; because now she truly was dead…at least to him. How could he ever look at her again without imagining Loghain's hands on her? How could he ever touch her again without picturing Loghain inside her? His stomach heaved again at the very thought.

He didn't know how long he had laid there weeping in his grief when he felt a strong hand slid under his arm and lift him up. He looked into the sympathetic face of Raulo. "Re Perirone, I have been looking all over the city for you. It is well after midnight."

Alistair did not have the strength to walk so Raulo threw Alistair's arm around his shoulder, slid his arm around Alistair's waist and practically carried him back to the Pearl. Alistair barely remembered Raulo placing him on the bed and covering him up as he drifted off into a deep sleep.

**xxXxx**

Alistair woke the next morning and threw his arm over his eyes to block out the light. Even though he had less than a glass of wine to drink he felt like he had drank all the ale in Orzammar, but emotionally the good night's sleep had done him a world of good. It had helped clear his head and allowed him to think. The pain was still there, but some clarity had begun to set in too. His head was pounding and his body felt like a horde of ogres had run over him, but because he was a masochist as he lay there in bed he allowed his thought to turn back to the conversation that he had with Connor. He recalled something Connor had said and it struck him hard.

"_Afterwards, the Commander of the Grey insisted that a statue be erected in the Palace courtyard in order to commemorate the King's heroic actions." _

At the time he thought it was Loghain that had done this, but in reality it was Amanda. She had "_insisted_" which means that she had to fight to have his actions commemorated. She would only do that if she truly believed he was dead and if she still loved him. In some small way, that brought hope to Alistair. He needed to have faith in her. His doubts in her had cost him everything and he had paid a terrible price for it. Now if he didn't learn from those previous mistakes then he would be doomed to keep repeating them and maybe next time his lack of faith in her really would take her life.

He remembered something else Connor had said, "_Although my father and her friend Zevran thought she would die from grief when she found out that Alistair had died during the final battle. I was young at the time, but as long as I live I will never forget the sickening wail of grief that had escaped her lips when she was told the news."_

He had been so overwhelmed with the news that she was alive that he almost forgot how Connor had described her grief over his death-_ 'sickening wail of grief'. _ She grieved for him so much so that Zev and Eamon thought the grief might kill her. Then why did she marry Loghain in such a short period of time?

"_Well, that is the strange part because even though it was obvious that Amanda was still in mourning over the loss of the King, she married Loghain less than a month after her she ended the Blight."_

It made absolutely no sense whatsoever. He knew that she may have once loved Loghain, but he also knew how much she now despised him for the way he manipulated her as a young girl. So why would she marry him? Loghain had to have tricked her or forced her somehow into this marriage. There were a lot of things that Amanda had done in recent years that had royally pissed him off, but all of her decisions were logical, calculated and made because she thought that was the best decision for all those involved. She was not a malicious or vindictive person. If she willing married him, there had to be a reason and Alistair was determined to find out what that reason was.

There was a knock at the door. "Come in," Alistair called out.

The door opened and Raulo walked in carrying a breakfast tray, "Good morning, Re Perirone. How are we feeling this morning?"

Alistair groaned, "Like the Archdemon chewed me up and spit me out."

"That good, huh? Well, you need to eat and get dressed. I have secured a boat for us and we leave port on this evening's high tide," Raulo said.

Alistair just groaned again as his reply, but he got up eat, bathed and got dressed. He met Raulo down at the docks where they boarded the ship and headed toward the Isle of Monte Anitvo as Ignacio's map instructed. The extra crew member that Raulo had hired was a seasoned sailor of twenty-five years. Santos was handsomely paid for both his skills and for his silence.

It took them five days to arrive at the small island just off the coast of Antiva. Alistair wanted as few people as possible to know about the possible treasure so on the opposite end of the island from where they would begin their search for the treasure Alistair dropped Santos off with a three day supply of food and water. Santos was not happy with this new predicament, but he had little choice in the matter. Alistair swore on his honor that they would return by the end of the third day.

Alistair and Raulo then sailed over to the spot on the map that Ignacio had indicted. The water there was shallow so they climbed into the dingy and rowed a shore. They followed the map precisely, the terrain was rocky and very hilly and it slowed down their progress, but eventually the map led them to a large cave that had pond in the center of it. Alistair looked around the room, but saw no hidden rooms or chambers so he removed his boots and clothes and dove into the pool. He swam towards the dark bottom when he noticed that the bottom really wasn't dark at all but that every inch of the pond floor was covered with row after row of chests. Alistair opened the lid on the first chest and it was filled to the brim with gold coins and jewels. He quickly open the next chest and the next chest, they were the same – completely full of unimaginable treasures. Alistair swam to the surface to get some fresh air. He gasped for breath as he began to laugh hysterically.

"What? Is it there?" Raulo asked.

But Alistair couldn't stop laughing as the image of all that gold floated through his mind and the pieces of his plan began to fall into place.

"Re Perirone, come on tell me, what's down there? Are you rich?" Raulo asked impatiently.

Alistair took a moment to collect himself and answered, "No, I am not rich, Raulo, but we are. Now, run to the dingy, bring all of the rope that I packed and that large, heavy-duty spool so that we can create a pulley to bring up these chests."

It took Alistair and Raulo working around the clock for the next two days to get the all of the treasure into the hull of the boat and make it back to Santos by the end of the third day as promised. Alistair had placed a large heavy duty lock on the door to the hull and Alistair and Raulo took turns guarding the entrance. They were never blatant as they watched the entrance, but they made sure that Santos was never alone when he was near it. They arrived in Antiva City two days later. They paid Santos fifty sovereign, told him to find a room nearby and that they would be leaving for Ferelden in five days.

Alistair told Raulo that they would be sleeping on the ship at night to ensure that no one came on board. Alistair then went into the city and immediately began to transform himself into an elegant nobleman. He was fitted for all the latest fashions; he had his hair cut, but only to his shoulders. The longer length had grown on him and he thought it helped conceal his true identity. Once he looked the part of a noble he went to the royal palace where he had learned that for the right price anything could be purchased. Five hours later after heavy negotiations he walked out of the Palace with the deed to the Isle of Monte Antivo and the title of Conte. In three days he would pick up the paper work that backed up his claim of nobility and would show that the noble title and the land had been in his family hundreds of years.

The following day Alistair sent a note to the leader of the Antivan Crows requesting a meeting. The following day 'The Count of Monte Antivo' received a note that stated the leader of the Crows, Zevran Arainai, would be happy to meet with him at his home the following day. Raulo arranged for a carriage to pick Alistair up and take him to the Crow's home.

Alistair nervously wrung his hands as he waited for the carriage to arrive at Zevran's home. Seeing Zev would be the true test to see if his appearance and his behavior would hold up to even the most scrutinizing eyes. The carriage pulled up to a beautiful stucco villa, a doorman opened the carriage door and Alistair stepped out. A butler greeted him and escorted him in to the assassin's home.

As Alistair waited in the foyer for Zevran he glanced around at all the beautiful works of art on the walls. Zevran definitely had excellent taste in art or his interior designers did.

"Benvenuto, Conte de Monte Antivo. È un piacere di incontrarla," came a charming familiar voice from behind him. Alistair knew this was a test. Zevran rarely spoke his own native language. He preferred the 'simple tongue' of the Fereldens.

Alistair smiled and extended his hand, "Il piacere è tutta la miniera. Ringraziarla per vedere su avviso così breve," Alistair replied.

Zevran returned the smile an indication that he believed Alistair. Zevran gestured with his hand towards the library doors and Alistair walked through the open doors. "Well, when I received a note from the Count of Monte Antivo asking for an audience with me how could I refuse? Although I must admit I didn't know the Isle of Monte Anitvo had a Count."

Alistair gave smug smile and spoke with his best Antivan accent. "Well, my family has lived there for hundreds of years, but we are quiet people that like to keep to ourselves."

"Really? Hundreds of years you say?" Zevran asked. Alistair nodded slowly. "Because I was under the impression that you had just recently purchased the title, land and paper work to back up your claim," Zevran replied nonchalantly.

Alistair sat there stunned and unsure how to proceed, but Zev tapped his knee with his hand and said, "No worries, mi amico. I just wanted you realize that here in Antiva there is no need for you façade, at least not with me. Your reasons for your deception are your own and none of my concern. So tell Count how can I help?"

"Have you heard of the Arlessa Mac Tir of Amaranthine?" Alistair asked.

"Yes, I have and I need to tell you up front that the Crows will not take out a contract on the Arlessa's life," Zevran said and in one quick movement Zevran was standing behind Alistair with a blade at his throat. "And further I have vowed to kill anyone who comes here seeking to take the life of the lovely Commander."

Alistair was pleased, if not at this particular moment, to see that Zev was as protective of Amanda as he ever was. "I wish no harm to Arlessa Mac Tir. I am an old friend of her Blight companion Alistair. I only seek information," Alistair said.

Alistair felt the blade relax and Zevran reclaimed his seat. He scrutinized Alistair, but Alistair didn't flinch, he didn't look away because that is what Zevran would have expected the old Alistair to do. Instead he stared directly into his eyes when Zevran was satisfied he said, "Alistair is dead. This you know, yes?"

"Yes, I heard he died during the final battle, but I have come to believe that it wasn't an ogre that killed him," Alistair said.

Zevran raised an eye brow, paused and then said, "How did you say you knew Alistair?"

"I didn't say, but I would be happy to tell you," Alistair replied and then retold the same story that he had told Connor.

When he had finished Zevran just stared at him for a long moment. "So you're a Grey Warden from Olais yet you have a very believable Antivan accent. What would say if I told you that Alistair était pirate et le voleur."

Alistair knew his face must have gone white as a ghost. Zevran had just told him that Alistair was a pirate and thief. Was that just the first thing Zevran had thought of off the top of his head or did he know? Had Isabela told him that he was a member of her crew? No, Isabela knew how important it was for everyone to continue to think he was dead. This was just another one of his tests. "I would ask you how he had time to become a pirate while trying to end a Blight?"

Zevran laughed, "Yes, it would take some very careful time management skills to actually do both, no? So you believe that Alistair died some other way. What evidence do you have of this?"

"I don't have any that is why I am seeking information," Alistair replied.

"Then what makes you think that Loghain's story is a lie," Zevran asked.

Now it was Loghain's story, that was very interesting and Alistair fought to suppress a smile. "That is the first time that I have heard someone refer to it as Loghain's story."

"Well, Amanda was still recuperating from her injuries that she received during her encounter with the Archdemon so Loghain was the one that made the announcement of Alistair's demise."

Alistair just nodded before he spoke, "I find it suspicious that the only two people to identify the body was a man that Alistair loathed and an old friend that mysteriously appeared back in the King's life a few days before the final battle. Not to mention that there was never a body discovered."

Zevran raised an eye brow again, "Those were same suspicions that Amanda raised to Loghain when he told her that Alistair was dead."

For the first time Alistair let the façade slip as his anger quickly rose to the surface. He lost his Antivan accent as he yelled, "Then why the hell did she marry her?" He immediately composed himself but the damage was done.

A sly grin slid across Zevran's face as he let out a low chuckle, "Alistair, my old friend, you almost had me fooled. Especially when held your composure about being a pirate and a thief, but I knew it wouldn't take long for the façade to slip if Loghain was brought into the conversation."

"Was that the only thing that gave me away? Or did Isabela tell you I was a part of her crew."

"It was not Isabela that told me you were a part of her crew, but it was one of her boys. However, when you came here tonight I would not have recognized you from your appearance. You look similar to whom you once were, but the innocence is gone. You have seen and experience things that most people only experience in their nightmares, yes?"

"Si," was all Alistair could muster.

"And Loghain is directly responsible for these experiences?"

"Si, Loghain personally had me sent to Château de Désespoir."

Zevran let out a low whistle, "Château de Désespoir, I now understand why you came to see."

"No, I don't think you do, Zev. Death is too good for him. First I want to strip him of everything near and dear to him before death finds him."

"My, my, my look at you, mi amico all grown up and ready to play big boy games. Do you have a plan?"

"I do and now that you know my identity I could use more than information from you, I could use your help if you are willing to give it," Alistair said.

Zev snickered at him, "If I'm willing! The only reason I am back at Antiva is because Loghain forced me out of the country; he forced me to leave her side. He forced every one of her companions to leave her until she was all alone and she only had him. He completely isolated her."

"Why? Why would she allow anyone to intimidate her?"

"I don't know, but the last time I saw her there was fear in her eyes…"

"What? She was afraid! I've never seen her afraid of anything," Alistair interrupted.

"I know, Alistair. I watched her take the Archdemon head on without even flinching. But when she begged me to listen to Loghain and to leave Ferelden forever I have never seen someone so afraid. It broke my heart," Zev said.

"But you left her anyways. How could you leave her knowing she was afraid?" Alistair demanded.

"Do you remember when we went into the Alienage and we meet those two city elves named Shianni and Kallian?" Zevran asked.

Alistair nodded. "Well, during the Battle of Denerim both of them fought beside us as they defended the Alienage; both of them were impressive fighters. They also left an impression on Amanda and once she recovered she asked if they would like to join the Wardens and both of them accepted. We trained with them every day at the Denerim Compound and I became very…friendly with Kallian…."

"Your love life is very interesting, but does this have to do with why you left Amanda?"

"Give me a moment, I'm getting to that. When Amanda asked me to go I refused to leave. I knew something was wrong and then when she agreed to marry Loghain when it was obvious to everyone that she was still devastated and mourning you I knew I had to find out what was going on.

So I began a little investigation of my own and I must have been getting close because one night as I was headed to the Alienage to visit Kallian I was jumped from behind, blind folded and brought to deserted warehouse. When they removed the blindfold I saw Loghain with three of his goons standing behind Shianni and Kallian who were there tied up and blindfolded with gags in their mouths. Now, I like to play games as much as the next guy, but I didn't think that is what Loghain had in mind. I watched as Loghain slit Shianni's throat and he told me that if I wasn't out of the city by the following morning the same thing would happen to Kallian. He went on to say if I told Amanda about what I had witness he had no problem doing the same to her. By the following morning Kallian and I were on ship headed here, however I did send Amanda a note telling her what happened to Shianni and warned her about Loghain. When I arrived in Antiva there was a letter waiting for me from her thanking me for letting her know about Shianni. She told me not to worry about her that she knew what she was doing. She ended the letter with 'Not everything is as it appears to be. Some sacrifices need to be made so that others can be saved'."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"The hell if I know," Zev replied.

"What did your investigation turn up?"

"Nothing that you don't already know; Amanda's suspicions about Everett proved true, that he was Loghain's right hand man while Loghain was the mastermind. However there was no solid evidence against either one. To me that is the only reason that makes sense for Amanda to stay is that she is trying to gather evidence against both of them by staying close to them."

"Keep your friends close, keeper your enemies closer," Alistair said.

"Exactly," Zev replied.

"While I think it's time for the enemies of Loghain Mac Tir to move in closer. Can you contact Leliana, Sten, Wynne, Shale, Oghren and Morrigan?" Alistair asked.

"I can contact all of them except Morrigan and Shale. Morrigan disappeared immediately after the final battle. She didn't stay around for any of the celebrations and Shale is in the Deep Roads with the Legion of the Dead." Zevran said.

"That's just like that witch. Amanda is gravely injured and she doesn't stick around to try to save her. Oh well, we are better off without her. Shale would have been useful considering how excited she gets over crushing things. Oh well, it's time for the Blight Companions to save their Commander and their friend," Alistair commanded and Zevran was ever impressed with the Brat Prince, very impressed indeed.

*Benvenuto, Conte de Monte Antivo. È un piacere di incontrarla Italian for Welcome Count of Monte Antivo. It is a pleasure to meet you

*Il piacere è tutta la miniera. Ringraziarla per vedere su avviso così breve is Italian for The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for seeing on such short notice.

* mi amico is Italian for my friend

*Alistair était pirate et le voleur is French for Alistair was a pirate and a thief


	10. Chapter 10 Live to Tell

**Chapter 9**

"A man can tell a thousand lies, I've learned my lesson well  
Hope I live to tell, the secret I have learned, 'till then it will burn inside of me

I know where beauty lives, I've seen it once,  
I know the warm she gives, the light that you could never see  
It shines inside, you can't take that from me

The truth is never far behind, you kept it hidden well  
If I live to tell, the secret I knew then  
Will I ever have the chance again"

_Live to Tell by Madonna_

Alistair sat in his room at the Pearl waiting for Raulo to return. Their ship had arrived back in Denerim ten days earlier and Alistair had immediately set Raulo out with a list of instructions. First, Raulo was charged with the task of purchasing Arl Leonas Bryland's Denerim estate. The Arl's estate was the largest and most extravagant home in all of Denerim. Many assumed the Arl's riches had come from his adventures and travels with King Maric; however to Alistair it did not matter where his wealth had come from to Alistair the point was that he had built the most elaborate home in all of Denerim. Everyone knew that this home was the Arl's pride and joy and it was the envy of all the Ferelden nobility. As far as Alistair knew the Arl had no desire to sale his Denerim Estate, but everyone had a price and when you had more money than the Maker himself you could buy just about anything or anyone.

Once the home was purchased, Alistair was going to need a trustworthy staff. Staff that would follow his instructions and would keep his secrets; Alistair knew of only one such man. Alistair owed this man everything and this would just be the beginning of repaying his debt to Brayden. Before Alistair had left Antiva he had written a letter to him and asked Zevran to have it delivered to the mage along with a hundred sovereigns in a manner that would not raise suspicions. Zev agreed and when Alistair had arrived at the Pearl a letter from Bray awaited him.

_Sire,_

_I have thought about you many times over the years so it was good to hear that you are safe and all is well. However, there is no debt to repay. It was the least I could do for my Sovereign and for my country. It would be honor for my family and I to serve you and we are extremely grateful for your generosity. There are a few matters that I will need to take care of so that my departure will not raise suspicion. We hope to be in Denerim by the end of August. I will head to the Pearl to look for information about where to find you. _

_Your humble and loyal subject,_

_Brayden_

There was a quick tap at the door and before Alistair could answer Raulo slid into the room and smiled at Alistair. "I hope that smile is a sign of good news," Alistair said.

"Yes Re Perirone, you are the proud owner of Dawning Peak Quinta," Raulo replied.

Alistair's brow furrowed, "The estate has a name?"

"Si, as you know the estate sits on the hillside that overlooks the Amaranthine Ocean so each morning the manor is greeted with a glorious sunrise, but what you may not know is that castle has a large and profitable vineyard, hence the name," Raulo explained.

"Excellent, then I should never run out of wine. Was it difficult to convince the Arl to sell?" Alistair asked.

"Well, at first he wanted to have me beat for being "cheeky", but once I showed him the cart full of gold and jewels he quickly signed over the deed. I did exactly as you requested and immediately fired all of the servants except for the wine master. A good wine master is hard to come by and with harvest only a few months away I knew you would need one," Raulo replied.

Alistair nodded, "Okay, I will contact Zev and see if he can recommend someone that we can trust. In the meantime, find out everything you can about our wine master. What is his name?"

"Edmund Arrowood."

"Find out everything there is to know about Edmund Arrowood and how is our other investigation going," Alistair inquired. The second task that Alistair had given Raulo was to find out every piece of dirt that he could dig up on Everett and Loghain.

"Well, I was able to find out that through Loghain's generous compensation for Everett's betrayal the Arl has done very well for himself. He managed to purchase over half of the Denerim docks shipping companies which I am sure are very profitable, but it is just a front for his side business in illegally trading and smuggling lyrium."

A sinister grin slid across Alistair's face. "Perfect," he purred. "And Loghain?"

"Loghain is harder to track information on because he divides his time between the Warden Compound here and the Warden headquarters at Vigil's Keep. Also, he is very good at covering his tracks, but I am still working on it," Raulo explained.

"So you have found out nothing?"

"Re Perirone, I have found out nothing that will help you bring this man down," Raulo replied.

"But you have found out something?"

Raulo let out a long sigh, "Capo di tutti capi, you won't like it."

"Tell me," Alistair demanded.

"Loghain spends a lot of time here at the Pearl…gambling and whoring."

Alistair felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach. He had the woman that he had wanted and fantasized about for years and now that he had her he was cheating on her with whores. That made no sense.

"He isn't just sleeping with whores. He has a mistress. It's Bann Reginalda of White River. It would also appear that Commander Amanda is aware of the affair and does nothing to stop it," Raulo revealed.

And the hits just keep coming. "Why the hell not?"

"Well, from what I have been able to gather, the Commander spends most of her time in Amaranthine and rarely comes to Denerim unless it's for the Landsmeet. She is rarely seen with Loghain and only makes public appearances with him when it is required as part of her duties as Warden Commander or Arlessa. It would seem that theirs is not a marriage of love and respect. From the gossip I was able to pick up she tolerates him and never once has anyone seen her display even the smallest amount of affect toward her husband. However, she is very affectionate and generous to her Wardens and I heard that when she is Denerim without the Arl, she travels through the city alone or in the company of her most trusted Wardens and it is said that she very approachable. She interacts with the people in the market, she has even been known to play kickball with the children in the Market District and she will drink in the taverns with commoners and nobles alike, and the people love her for it. It was also mentioned that besides the Landsmeet, the only other time that she comes to Denerim is on the anniversary of your death…to place flowers at your statue."

Oh Amanda, what has happened to you? What has he done to destroy the vivacious, unstoppable girl I once knew?

"When is the next Landsmeet?" Alistair asked.

"In a month, in the middle of September," Raulo replied.

"Excellent! I think it's time for the nobles of Ferelden to become acquainted with the Count of Antivo," Alistair murmured.

**xxXxx**

The gold inlaid invitations on black parchment from the mysterious Count of Antivo had the entire Ferelden nobility buzzing with excitement. Over the past month every store, every tavern and every market that Alistair went into the nobles were gossiping about the Count and it always made him smile when he would stop to eavesdrop on the conversations.

"_I heard the Count is the bastard son of King Giovanni of Antiva," he heard one noblewoman say. _Well at least they got the bastard part right, he thought.

"_Well, I heard that he purchased Dawning Peak Quinta from Arl Bryland with three carts full of gold and jewels and he acted like it wasn't that much money at all," the other woman responded. _ Alistair had to snicker at that one. Three carts! Really?

"_So Bryland met the Count?" The first woman asked._

"_No, it would appear that the Count couldn't be bothered meeting Bryland to make the transaction. He sent a servant to handle," the second woman replied. _

"_No, you're kidding," the first woman sounded astonished. "So are you going to the Count's Celebration?"_

_The noble woman laughed, "There isn't a noble in all of Ferelden that would miss this opportunity to meet the mysterious Count."_

"_I heard he is extremely good looking and that he is hear looking for his future with bride…" Alistair made his out of the store thoroughly amused by what he had heard. _

It had definitely been an interesting month as all of Ferelden's nobility filtered into the city for the Landsmeet, but as of this morning Alistair had not received word that the Arl and Arlessa of Amaranthine had arrived in Denerim. The Landsmeet starts tomorrow where the hell was she?

There was a knock at his door and he called out, "Come in."

Leliana walked in and Alistair rose to greet her. Leliana's hands immediately went to her mouth as she looked at him with a huge grin, "Oooo, Alistair you look absolutely delicious, the nobles will eat you up," she cooed as she walked over to him and ran her fingers down the fur of the red velvet cape he had on over a black and red satin tunic. "This definitely makes you look dark and mysterious. It's going to be fun listening to what the nobles have to say about you."

Leliana and Zevran had arrived in Denerim a little over a week ago. Both of them would be attending the party tonight, but because they would easily be recognized as Amanda's Blight Companions they would remain in the shadows collecting what valuable information they could about both Loghain and Everett.

"Remember what I told you, Leli, you have to get use to calling me either Count or Alonso. I don't want you slipping up and calling me Alistair in front of someone who might then put the pieces of the puzzle together before I am ready for the picture to come together," Alistair playfully chided her.

Lelia frowned, "Count Alonso De Tisi of Monte Antivo is a real mouthful. How about I just call you Al?"

Alistair frowned back, but Leliana put her hands together in a pleading motion. "Oh alright, if you insist, but don't get use to it; once this is over its back to Alistair, okay?" Leliana nodded. "So have the guests started to arrive?" Alistair asked.

"Oh they started to arrive thirty minutes before the invitation stated. They are being thoroughly amused by the lions and tigers that you had imported along with the acrobats that are performing and the roaming street entertainers - your guests are being very entertained. Queen Anora had just arrived and that is what I came up here to tell you. The stage is set and ready for your entrance."

"Is she here?"

"I have not seen her, but that doesn't mean she isn't here. It's hard to remain in the shadows and still get a good look at everyone in the room, but don't worry Zev is down there looking for her," Leliana replied.

Alistair could reach out to through the taint to see if she was here, but that would alert her to his presents and Loghain that another Warden was nearby. Over the years, when the Siren's Call was in port Alistair had learned to shield his taint from other Wardens and he had honed that skill so that he went undetected by all the Wardens he had encountered. Being near Amanda would be the true test on how polished his shield was.

"Okay, let's get this party started," Alistair said as he made his way out the door and stood out of sight at the top of the double sided spiral staircase.

On either side of the staircases two men stood and blew their trumpets to get everyone's attention. Then Raulo walked up to the balcony that was in between sets of stairs. "Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for attending tonight's festivities." Raulo paused and a cheer went up from the crowd. Raul smiled at the crowd, "Good, glad everyone is enjoying themselves. It is with great pleasure that I introduce your host for the evening, Alonso De Tisi, the Count of Monte Antivo."

Alistair stepped out of the shadows and there were loud gasps and sighs before the crowd began to cheer and clap. Alistair waved, "Thank you for coming this evening. I look forward to meeting each of you this tonight. In the meantime, please head out the terrace for the fireworks show." Another cheer went up and the crowd began to move toward the back terrace.

Alistair noticed that Anora was standing at the bottom of the stairs on the right so he made his way down the stairs towards her. Once he reached her, he bowed and in a flawless Antivan accent said, "Your Majesty, I am honored that you accept my invitation."

"How could I possibly miss the event that all of Ferelden has been talking about? You definitely know how to throw a party. It is a pleasure to finally meet the mysterious and aloof Count of Monte Antivo," Anora cooed.

Alistair rose, took her hand, pressed it to his lip as he kissed her and then he turned her hand over and suggestively kissed her palm. He felt a slight tremor pass through her. "The pleasure is all mine, your Majesty," Alistair purred in a soft seductive voice. Alistair smiled inwardly as the color on the Queen's cheeks reddened. '_I am not so unpolished now, am I, Anora.'_

Alistair extended his arm and Anora slipped her arm around his as he led her out to the back terrace where all of the guests had gathered. "I hope that her Majesty will enjoy the firework show," Alistair whispered in her ear.

"Please call me, Anora," the Queen sighed.

Alistair smiled at her, "Of course Anora, but only if you will call me Alonso."

"I would be delighted too. So tell me Alonso what brings you to Ferelden?" Anora asked sweetly.

Alistair noticed out of the corner of his eye that a man with dark hair inch closer to hear his response and he also noticed a shadow flicker behind the man. It had to be either Zev or Leli. "Well, I have heard may wonderful things about your fair country and the extraordinary courage of the people that lived here as they faced the most recent Blight head on. I find that fascinating so I had come and experience Ferelden and its people for myself."

"Yes, the true character of Feleden's people shone through during those dark times," Anora sadly replied.

Alistair noticed the flicker of the shadow move behind the eavesdropping man and then disappears behind Alistair's back and out of his peripheral vision. "I did not mean to upset you, Anora," Alistair said as he took her small hand in his.

She smiled warmly at him and moved in closer to him. "You did not upset me. Those were troubling times and I thank the Maker that they are behind us."

Just than the fireworks began and the crowed oohed and aahed throughout the show as Bray did an outstanding job of amusing his guests. Anora backed up towards him as she tried to encourage him to put his arms around her. Getting close to Anora had always been a part of the plan. It was the only way to truly find out how involved she had been in Loghain's plans, but as this beautiful woman leaned back against him he realized that he had no desire to hold her in his arms.

He felt someone brush up behind him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw no one, but heard the distinctive voice of Zev as he softly hiss in his ear, "You don't have to love her to hold her in your arms. For Maker's sake, use your imagination if you have to and picture someone else in your arms. But don't insult the one person who will give us access to the Palace."

Alistair wrapped his arms around Anora's waist and gently pulled her back against his chest. He felt her sigh as his chiseled chest pressed against her back. "This is nice. This is turning into a very nice evening indeed," Anora whispered. She remained in his arms throughout the rest of fireworks display when they ended he noticed she was shivering.

"Would you like to head inside where it is warmer," Alistair asked as he placed his cape around her shoulders.

"Yes, I think I would," Anora replied.

As they made their way in the man who had been listening to their conversation approached them and now that Alistair could see the man from the front Alistair felt his stomach tighten as Everett moved towards them with a lovely brunette on his arm. From a distance the young girl looked like Amanda, but as she got closer the way the girl wore her make made her resemblance to Amanda remarkable similar, but she lacked the true natural beauty that Amanda possessed.

"Your Majesty, it's so good to see you. I see that you have had the pleasure of meeting our generous host," Everett said as he bowed to Anora.

"Everett, as always it's good to see you," Anora's words were in strict contradiction to her cold tone and ridged body language.

Everett turned to Alistair, "I have not had the honor to officially introduce myself to you, Count De Tisi. I am the Everett Cartwright, Arl of Denerim and this is my wife Ellwyn." Alistair had to bit his tongue to keep from laughing. It wasn't enough for Everett to just destroy his life, but he had to try replicate the life Alistair would have had. Alistair was willing to bet every piece of gold that he had that Everett had tried to convince Loghain to let him marry Anora, but obviously there was no way the Queen would marry someone who was given a noble title and not be of noble blood. So Everett did the next best thing he found a cheap imitation of the woman he loved.

"The honor is mine, Arl Cartwright. It is a pleasure to meet you and your lovely wife," Alistair said. He looked at Ellwyn for a moment and then said, "I have seen a painting of the Hero of Ferelden. You look a lot like her, but I thought her name was Amanda." At the mention of Amanda's name Alistair felt Anora stiffen beside him.

Ellwyn giggled in a high pitched tone that reminded him of a little girl laughing and as far removed from Amanda's sultry laugh as one could get. "No, Count De Tisi I am not the Hero of Ferelden. I have been told that I look like her, however our similarities end there. I am no fierce slayer of darkspawn or the formidable Commander of the Grey."

Alistair looked at Anora, "I sent Arl and Arlessa Mac Tir an invitation for the Celebration this evening. Will the Hero of Ferelden be able to join us?"

"No," Anora said sharply. "I believe that my father and Amanda arrived in Denerim a few hours before your party was due to start. She will want to settle in at the Denerim Compound and inspect her Wardens. Amanda takes her duties very seriously and rarely has time for social engagements."

"Oh, I had hoped to meet the famous Hero that all of the Bard's sing about," Alistair replied and he didn't have to exaggerate his disappointment.

Anora paused as she thought about something for a moment. "Tomorrow is the first day of the Landsmeet. Afterwards, I will be having a quiet dinner at the Palace for a few the Arls and Teryns. I am sure they would be delighted if you could join us. I know that Amanda will be at that dinner. If you are free I would love for you to attend and would be happy to introduce you to her," Anora said.

"I would not want to intrude on your State dinner," Alistair replied.

"It would not be an intrusion at all. Besides having someone new there will distract them from bombarding me with questions," Anora countered.

Alistair chuckled, "Well, then I would be happy to be your diversion. Would you care to dance?"

"I would love to," Anora replied and Alistair led her towards the dance floor.

Alistair spent the rest of the night dancing and entertaining Anora and the rest of his guests. It was well into the morning before Raulo ushered the last drunken guest out the door. Then he joined Alistair, Leliana and Zev in the study where they were already deep in discussion.

"Look the hard part will not be getting pass by the guards at the Palace main gate. It will be getting by the guards at the main entrance to the Palace, but I am an invited dinner guest so that will not be a problem for me so the two of you should be able to slip into the shadows and follow me in," Alistair countered.

"Yes, I understand what a great opportunity this is for us Alistair. I just don't know if you are ready to sit down and have dinner with both Amanda and Loghain there. You lost your composure with me over the mere mention of Loghain. How will remain calm when they will be attending this dinner as husband and wife? We cannot afford to be discovered now," Zev retorted.

"I won't lose my composure," Alistair replied.

"Oh really, let's say that Loghain leans over and kisses his wife fully on the lips, right in front of you. How would you react?" Zev asked.

"Is this before or after I vomited?" Alistair snapped.

"See, what I mean, your whole face just now contorted with disgusted. You can't do that in front of everyone. I don't think you are polished enough to pull it off, Alistair; not when it comes to her," Zev hissed.

"You worry too much, amigo," Raulo said. "I have seen Re Perirone overcome many difficult obstacles. This one is no different. He will be fine."

"He is a perished king because he lost control of his emotions," Zev responded.

"NO! I am a perished king because I was betrayed," Alistair growled back.

"I have an idea," Leliana interjected calmly. "Zev, how about one of us remain with Alistair in the shadows and attend the dinner with him while the other begins to explore the Palace for evidence. That way if Alistair gets into any type of trouble one of us will be there to help him."

Zev thought about it for a moment and then said, "Only if it's me that attends the dinner with Alistair. You're too soft on him, Leli."

"I don't need a babysitter, but if that is the only way you will agree to it than fine let's do it," Alistair retorted.

**xxXxx**

The following evening Alistair made his way toward the Palace with Zev and Leliana following closely in the the shadows. As he entered the Palace District he saw the large stone statue of himself. The stone version of himself wore the Warden Commander's armor that they had retrieved from Soldier's Peak, his sword, actually Duncan's sword, was drawn with one hand, while his other hand held Cailan's shield and his foot rested on the head of Hurlock. It was an imposing and impressive commemoration and Alistair was deeply moved by the forethought that had gone into the statue. He walked closer to the statue so completely absorbed in the details that he hadn't noticed the small figure kneeling in front of the monument.

Alistair felt two unseen hands grab his arm and pull him behind several large bushes. "What the hell?" Alistair hissed.

"You were so enamored with yourself you practically walked into Amanda. That is her kneeling in front of the statue," Zevran whispered as he pointed across the open courtyard.

Alistair peeked out from behind the bush and felt his heart begin to pound in his chest as he looked into her beautiful face. The years had been kind to her and it seemed that she had only become even more beautiful with each passing year. She had grown her hair out and the long chestnut brown locks cascaded down her back. By the Maker, he wanted to run his fingers through those flowing tresses until his hands found the nape of her neck and he pulled her to him. She was only a few feet away from him and he wanted to rush over, take her in his arms and feel her soft full lips against his.

His mouth went dry as he watched her wipe a tear away and for the first time in eight years he heard the sweet sound of her voice, "I love you, Alistair and I miss you so much. I am so sorry."

The pain that coursed through his veins nearly drove him to his knees. He wanted to go to her, pull her into his arms and tell her it was going to be alright. He must have started to move toward her because he felt the strong hand of Zevran grasp his arm as he whispered, "Now is not the time, my Friend. You have to remember everything you are doing is to save her. It is not yet time to reveal yourself to her."

Alistair knew Zev was right, but the pain of being this close to her and not be able hold her and to touch her was excruciating. Alistair watched as she wiped away another tear and he ever so briefly reached out through the taint to comfort her. She instantly whipped her head around as she tried to identify the source of the pull and Alistair immediately pulled back and shielded himself. He watched as she continued to search the courtyard. She finally rested her hand against the base of the statue and Alistair heard her ask, "Are you here with me Alistair?" It took every ounce of his Templar discipline not to reach out to her again.

He was still staring into her troubled face when he heard footsteps thunder up behind her and Alistair's hand went to his sword as he waited to see who was approaching her. "Commander," a voice yelled out. Alistair watched as she gracefully sprung to her feet and spun around.

Alistair watched a mage ran up to her, "Commander, there has been another darkspawn attack about two miles south of the city walls. It just happened about an hour ago. If we leave know we should be able investigate it before the sun sets."

Amanda nodded, "Okay, saddle up four horses. I want you, Nate and Sigrun to go with me to inspect the site."

"What about the Arl?" The mage asked.

"What about him?" Amanda asked coldly.

The mage raised his eye brow, "Do you think we should inform him of this new development?"

"Anders, when did you become Loghain's lackey?" Amanda asked amusingly.

"Aaah, I'm not….. you know that," the mage retorted defensively. "It's just you know how angry he gets when he isn't kept informed and I was just trying to save you the headache of dealing with him," Anders replied.

Amanda smiled her wicked little grin at the mage and Alistair had forgotten how much he loved that smile. "Screw Loghain and his obsessive need to have all the information. I'm the Commander and I don't have to clear everything through him. Now, please go get those horses saddled up. I need to let Anora know that I won't be attending her fancy dinner this evening."

"I know how that must upset you," Anders replied sarcastically.

"You have no idea how broken up I am about it," Amanda replied dryly.

Alistair watched as the Mage ran off and Amanda headed for the Palace entrance. She was half way up the stairs when she paused and looked around again for a moment before she continued through the gate.

* Capo di tutti capi is Italian for Boss of all Bosses. It is commonly used to indicate a supremely powerful crime boss in the Sicilian or American Mafia who holds great influence over the whole organization.


	11. Chapter 11 I'll Wear This Mask

**Chapter 10**

"I'll wear this mask, for all of them

I'll wear this mask, until I find my sin

I'll wear this wear this mask, until I come to you

I'll stand before you, exposed for who I am"

_I'll Wear This Mask by Carla Jae_

As Amanda disappeared through the Palace entrance Alistair sank to the ground and buried his head in his hands, "I can't do this," he whispered.

Leliana was immediately on her knees beside him. "I know this is hard Alistair, but I know you have the strength to do this. You have endured so much and you are so close to achieving your goal. You just have to dig down deep and continue to fight."

Alistair shook his head, "Leli, did you not see her there at the statue? She is in such great pain and I can stop it, I can ease her suffering if I let her know I am alive. She needs our help and if she knows we are here to help her…"

"She will find away to send us away again," Zevran injected.

"She won't…she won't send me away. She has been fighting him for eight years all alone and she is starting to weaken. I could fee it," Alistair retorted.

"How could you feel it?" Zevran asked skeptically.

"I reached out briefly to her through…"

"Dannazione, Alistair! I was wondering why she asked if you were here. You could have completely blown everything. This is why I don't think you are ready to face her and Loghain. You have yet to learn to control your emotions when it comes to her," Zevran exclaimed.

"Zev is right, Al. I know you want to ease her pain, but now is not the time. She has been living with your death for eight years. She will survive a little longer. However, in order to save her we need more information. Once your presence is known we lose the advantage. Right now Loghain and Everett probably think you died trying to escape Château de Désespoir. We need them to believe that for a little while longer. Amanda is good at hiding her emotions, actually she is one of the best, but when she finds out that you are alive…that the love of her life has returned from the died even she won't be good enough to hide that type of joy. So until all of our traps have been set you must continue to play your role….You are the Count of Monte Antivo. You have no emotional ties to these people so there should be no reaction on your part when you hear or see things that concern Amanda and Loghain. Do you understand?"

Alistair nodded. "You can do this Al. You were excellent last night. You played your role brilliantly and even though you look similar to Alistair Theirin your demeanor is completely opposite of his which is why no one suspects you. Keep acting in contrast to your natural instincts and even Amanda herself won't recognize you. Tonight you are once again the Count of Monte Antivo – mysterious, charming, charismatic…"

"And don't forget devilishly handsome," Alistair interrupted with a grin.

Leliana giggled, "Well, that goes without saying."

"Are we done boosting this man's ego? I just watched Amanda leave the Palace so the coast is clear," Zevran said.

Alistair stood up and straightened his tunic as he thought, _'I am the Count of Monte Antivo. I am mysterious and charming. I will have them eating out of the palm of my hand.'_

He made his way to the Palace main entrance with his hidden escorts following closely behind. Six members of the royal guard and two mages were posted outside the large wooden doors that led into the Palace. It would appear that Anora has become a little paranoid about the Palace's security. Alistair approached the guard closest to the door, "Hello Ser, I am the Count of Monte Antivo. I believe the Queen is expecting me."

"Good evening, my Lord, Queen Anora is expecting you. Please head into the main hall and Ser Godric will escort you through the Palace," the guard replied as he opened the door to main hall.

Alistair entered the main hall and found six more guards posted along the pillars of the hall. The guard closest to the door approached Alistair, "My Lord, Ser Godric will be with you in a moment."

"Thank you," Alistair replied.

He felt someone slid up behind him, "It would appear our good Queen is a little paranoid, no," Leliana whispered in his ear.

Alistair gave a quick nod of agreement just as a tall muscular knight approached, "Count De Tisi, I am sorry to keep you waiting. I am Ser Godric, please follow me. The Queen is waiting in the Library for all of her guests to arrive."

Alistair really didn't need someone to lead him to the Library. He had lived in the Palace for a week before the Denerim attack and he had managed to navigate the Palace fairly well, but since this was supposed to be his first time here he paused to admire the works of art that hung on the walls and general tried to act as if this was the first time he was traveling down these halls. Ser Godric led Alistair into the room and announced, "Count Alonso De Tisi of Monte Antivo has arrived."

There were already four other nobles present and Alistair recognized Bann Teagan and Bann Alfstanna from their travels during the Blight. There were also two nobles that Alistair didn't recognize. At the mention of his name Anora turned and a huge smile spread across her lips. She crossed the room and slipped her arm through his. "Alonso, I am so glad that you could make it. Please let me introduce you to everyone."

She led him towards Teagan, "This Arl Teagan, he is the Arl of Rainsfere." Alistair gave a slight bow and Teagan returned it. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Arl Teagan." Arl, huh? Alistair had to wonder how Teagan received that title.

"No the pleasure is mine. I did not have the opportunity to personally thank you for the wonderful Celebration you hosted last night. You were surrounded by many adoring nobles and I didn't want to intrude," Teagan replied.

"Unfortunately, you are not the only noble that I did not have a chance to meet last night and I apologize for that," Alistair said.

"No, need to apologize. I understand the duties of a host," Teagan responded.

"I look forward to spending this evening getting acquainted," Alistair said and he felt Anora tug at his arm as she led him to the next two nobles.

"This is Teryn Fergus Cousland and his lovely wife Alfstanna," Anora introduced.

Alistair felt his heart race at the mention of Fergus' name. Amanda's brother had lived. Thank the Maker she had at least one member of her family to lean on for support. Alistair bowed and both of them bowed back. Alistair studied Fergus' face and noticed a resemblance to Amanda, but as they engaged in conversation it was his warmth and charming manner that was obviously the strong Cousland trait.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alonso. We did not arrive from Highever until late last night and were unable to attend your party. I understand that we missed the party of millennia," Fergus said.

Alistair laughed, "Well, I don't know if it was that good, but it is a shame you couldn't make it. Alfstanna, I think you would have enjoyed the lions and tigers. They seemed to have been a smashing hit with all of the ladies."

"Please call me Anna."

"Why of course," Alistair said.

" I heard about them and I am very disappointed that I missed such a spectacle," Anna jokingly grumped.

"Not nearly as disappointed as I am since I will have to hear about your disappoint my dear every time someone brings it up," Fergus said as he squeezed her hand affectionately.

She smiled back at him, "I promise to try and keep my complaining to a minimum."

"Well, I can't have two of Ferelden's highest ranking nobles disappointed on my account. I will just have to plan on making it a yearly celebration," Alistair said jovially.

"Well, than we mark it on our calendars and make sure we arrive in time plenty of time," Anna replied enthusiastically.

Fergus turned to Anora, "Will my sister be joining us this evening?"

"No, as usual she had some pressing Grey Warden business to attend to," Anora's annoyance coming through in her tone.

"Amanda knows how important these dinners are to you Anora. It must have been important if it pulled her away this evening," Fergus retorted and Alistair could see the man trying to rein his irritation.

"Oh, the Hero will not be in attendance this evening," Alistair said feigning disappointment.

"No, I am sorry Alonso, but she had pressing Grey Warden business," Anora replied.

"Oh well, I understand. Protecting the country has to come first," Alistair said as he noticed Anora motion for the other noblewoman to join them. As the tall slender blond with deep blue eyes glided up to them Alistair noticed Fergus stiffen.

"Alonso, I would like to introduce you to Bann Reginalda of White River." Alistair bowed and then looked into the porcelain beauty's face. So this was Loghain's mistress. Did Loghain already know that Amanda wasn't going to be here and that is why she was here or did he have his mistress here to flaunt her front of his wife? Either way he had done it to embarrass Amanda and Alistair had to work hard to push down his growing anger. He was the Count of Monte Antivo. He had no emotional ties to these people.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Count Alonso," Reginalda said in a meek overly sweet voice that actually made Alistair's skin crawl.

"Please there is no need to be so formal. Please call me Alonso."

She smiled a dazzling, but cold smile, "That would be most inappropriate since we just met."

Alistair smiled back, "It's not inappropriate if I have given you permission."

Reginalda was everything Amanda was not. There was no denying that she was beautiful, but in that made up sort of way. She was the typical Ferelden noblewoman; brought up to marry young for wealth and power to further her family's ambitions and to serve the needs of her husband and her country. This woman was exceedingly proper which he guessed was a reflection of her ridge and noble upbringing, but it made her seem hard and cold. She was the complete opposite of Amanda's warmth and charm, and that must have been why Loghain had become involved with her.

Reginalda gave a hesitant smile, "Well, I guess that is true, but I insist that you call me Gina."

Alistair tilted his head slightly and winked at her, "I guess we have a deal then." Alistair watched as the color rose on her cheeks. How on earth did this woman ever become a Bann? She had no backbone at all.

Just then a booming voice came from outside the door. Alistair spun around just as Loghain entered the room. "Eamon, this is a Grey Warden matter. There is no reason to wait to speak to Amanda. I am her second in command you can speak to me," the General demanded.

Loghain entered the room loud and boisterous. Everyone in the room fell silent and every eye was on him. As kind as the years had been to Amanda they had been as equally unkind to Loghain. His once dark black hair was now mostly grey and the lines around his eyes and on his forehead were many. Alistair still remembered the younger general standing over him condemning him to a life in prison.

_Alistair composed himself and asked. "Why are you telling me all of this?" _

"_Oh, because I have plans for you Alistair; you see, I am sending you to a place where you will have a lot of time on your hands; I just wanted to give you something to think about while you're there."_

"_Why are you doing this, Loghain? You won, what do you have to gain?" _

_A sneer spread across his lips. "Well, it could be that you took something that didn't belong to you, something that was mine, you defiled it and then you tossed it aside when you no longer had any use for it," Loghain said viciously._

Alistair drew in a deep breath and took a step back. In a voice barely audible Zev said, "Wipe that hateful expression off of your face. Remain calm and focused. We do this for her."

Alistair took another deep breath and forced himself to push his feelings of hatred and anger aside. He was here tonight to play a part. He was Count of Monte Antivo. The Count had no ill feelings toward this man. The Count didn't even know him.

Loghain paused as he surveyed the room. He turned to Eamon and said, "We will finish this discussion later." Eamon just nodded and brushed pass him into the room. Loghain advanced toward Anora. He gave her a slight bow, "I am sorry I am late, my dear. I hope that I didn't hold thing up for you and your guests."

"Its fine, Father, the Count arrived only minutes before you did. Alonso, I would like to introduce you to my Father, Arl Loghain Mac Tir. Father, this is Count Alonso De Tisi of Monte Antivo."

Both men bowed slightly to each other. "It is a pleasure to meet you Arl Loghain."

Loghain eyed him suspiciously for a moment and then that fake, but charming smile of his spread across his lips. "Please call me Loghain, and it is I that am honored to finally meet the Antivan noble that I have heard so much about. I do hope that you are enjoying your stay here in Denerim."

"I am. I find the Ferelden people very welcoming and friendly. I was disappointed to hear that your beautiful wife would not be joining us, but as the other Warden that helped end the Blight I do hope that will regale us with a story or two."

Alistair watched as Loghain's eyes flared angrily and the color rose in his cheeks. He turned to his daughter and growled, "And where is Amanda?"

Anora looked a little uneasy, "She didn't give me all of the details, but she said that there was another incident just outside the city and that she needed to investigate the sight before anything was disturbed."

"And did she mention why she didn't come find me?" Loghain said through gritted teeth.

Anora shifted uncomfortable on her feet as she spoke, "She said that she didn't have time to hunt you down while you were engaged…..in your extracurricular activities," Anora said and her eyes unconsciously darted to Gina. Alistair looked at Gina and she had turned five shades of red. Alistair was becoming as furious as Loghain looked. Alistair wanted to drive his sword through the man's throat, but only after he cut off the man's…

His thought was interrupted by a kick to the back of his knee and a voice hissed, "Stop it!" Alistair took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. He was the Count of Monte Antivo. He had no emotional ties to these people.

Anora must have taken his deep breath as a sign that he was uneasy because she said, "Well, I think we have made our guest uncomfortable. Please forgive us, Alonso. Let's all make our way into the dining room," Anora said as she began to escort her guests out of the Library.

Alistair was the last to make his way out of the room when he felt a strong arm pull him back in. "You did that on purpose," Zevran voiced hissed out of the shadows.

"Yes, I did. I wanted to see how well informed his spies are. Obviously he doesn't pay them enough because he had no idea that Amanda was gone," Alistair hissed back into the open air. He glanced around to make sure no one could see him. If someone did see him it would look like Alistair was talking to himself or to the nearby shrub and the last thing he needed was for a rumor to start that the Count was crazy.

"That part was a good idea, Alistair, but at the mention of Loghain's extracurricular activities the hatred that rose up in your eyes was visible for anyone to see if they were looking. I think most were busy looking at Loghain and Gina, but I know Fergus saw it. You need to be more in control. Now go before they miss you," Zev retorted.

Alistair quickly made his way to the private dining room. The room open and airy and was lavishly decorated in rich gold and emerald tones. Alistair found it curious that Anora would host a State dinner in this room. This room was usually used for intimate private dinners and it was the only way to access the guest quarters and the royal bedchambers. He quickly entered just as everyone was taking their seats. "There you are," Anora said as he glided up to her.

"I'm sorry, I was looking at the portraits of the different Ferelden Kings that line the hallway," Alistair said.

"Not a problem. Please have a seat here beside me," Anora said.

Diner for the most part was uneventful. There was a brief moment of tension when Loghain mentioned that Alistair looked familiar and Eamon agreed, but Alistair laughed it off and said that he heard that a lot so Loghain let the subject drop. Amanda had once told him that Loghain could be charming when he wanted to be. Alistair hadn't believed her, but tonight as Alistair watched the Arl schmooze and charm the nobles at the table it was amazing to see the two personas this man had. The only noble that seemed unaffected by Loghain's charisma was Fergus. Obviously the Teryn knew and understood that this wasn't the real Loghain and that made Alistair like the man all the more. Alistair could tell by the icy stares Fergus regular shot at his brother-in-law that he was well aware that the Arl was not faithful to his sister and Fergus made efforts to hide his disdain for him.

They had just served dessert and coffee when Alistair felt her. He had become relaxed by the meal and the wine that he had let his shield slip a little. It was not enough to draw attention from Loghain, but enough that he felt her pull the moment she entered the Palace probably because fury was vibrating throughout her entire body.

She charged into the room and came to halt when she saw that the dinner party was still in progress. Alistair studied her as he saw several emotions quickly flicker across her face before she reigned in her emotions and her face became unreadable once again.

She started to make her way toward the entrance to the guest quarters when Loghain spoke up, "Sweetheart, aren't you going to say hello to our guests. I know several of them would love to chat with their Hero." There was a pleasantness in his timbre, but Alistair definitely picked up an underlying tone of sarcasm.

Amanda paused as she briefly touched her hand to her side then she stepped toward the table. She smiled one her most dazzling smiles as her eyes scanned the guesses at the table. Her smile wavered as her gaze fell on him, but even though every fiber of his body yelled at him to look away he looked directly back into her strikingly beautiful green eyes. He felt her taint reach out and probe at him, but he held tight to his shield and prayed to the Maker that she couldn't detect that it was him.

Her gaze finally moved down the table and he watched her as she took in the guests at the table. His heart was pounding in his chest as he watched her graceful and elegant movements. She was covered head to toe in darkspawn blood and there were a few cuts on her cheeks and arms, but she was still the most breathtakingly beautiful woman he had ever seen. Everything in him was screaming for him to leap out of his chair and take her in his arms and tell her how much loved her. The ache of being this close to her and not being able to hold her, to feel the warmth of her embrace and to taste the sweetness of her lips was becoming overwhelming and it was a good thing he was sitting down or he knew his legs would have refused to hold him up.

"I want to apologize for not being able to attend the dinner tonight, but there was a darkspawn attack just outside the city walls…"

"Maker's Blood, what the hell are they doing here? So close to the city?" Teagan exclaimed.

"That is a very good question and that is why I was unable to attend the dinner tonight. I needed to investigate the sight while it was still fresh. I am truly sorry that I missed what looks like an absolutely lovely affair. I hope that my Lords and Ladies can forgive me," Amanda cooed.

Alistair had to bit his tongue from laughing. She was using some of her strongest persuasive powers and the nobles were eating it up. He looked into her eyes and he could see something there….something was wrong. She was in some type of pain and his taint yearned to reach out to her, but he held tight to his shield.

"My dear, of course you had to miss this dinner; dealing with the darkspawn is your highest priority," Eamon exclaimed.

"Oh Jinx, you know there is no need to apologize. All of us understand that your duty must come first," Fergus said.

"Thank you for being so gracious," Amanda purred. She looked down at her tattered appearance and Alistair noticed her sway on her feet ever so slightly. What was wrong with her? She took a moment to compose herself. "Now, if you will excuse me I really don't think that I am dressed for proper company."

"Of course my dear Warden, you go tend to yourself. Your charms will be sorely missed, but we completely understand," Teagan said. Alistair raised an eye brow, when did Teagan become so charming.

Amanda turned to leave and Loghain was up in a flash. He was by her side as he pulled her away from the table. In hushed tones they started to argue and Alistair could only pick up a few words, 'your fault', 'Architect', and 'dark ritual'. Alistair really hoped that Zev was over there listening to the whole conversation.

Loghain had said something vile because pure hatred flashed in Amanda's eyes. She ripped her arm out of his grasp, she staggered a little as she clutched her side and pain flickered across her face, but that didn't stop her as she started to hiss something back in a low whisper, but as she began to lose the hold on her normally tightly controlled emotions her voice began to rise. "…it's because of you that we are in this predicament. I am cleaning up your mess. If you could have kept your dick in your pants and had let me die the death I was meant to none of this would be happening." She realized that she had raised her voice and that everyone was staring them. She glared at him, leaned in and whispered something else and rushed off toward the guest quarters.

Fergus stood up, "Excuse me, but I think I will go check on my sister."

"I don't think that will be necessary," Loghain said as he sat back down.

Fergus glared at Loghain with total and utter disgust, "I could give a nug's arse about what you think is necessary." Fergus then headed towards the private rooms.

Anna then stood up, "I think I will join my husband and make sure everything is okay."

"What the hell, it's like damn orgy in my wife's room?" Loghain mumbled.

"Did I hear someone say there was an orgy in the Commander's room? Why the hell wasn't I invited?" Anders said as he entered the room

"Has the security in this Palace just gone to complete hell? Who let you in Anders?" Loghain demanded.

"I arrived with the Commander. I'll just head back there and take a look at her," Anders replied.

"You have no business going anywhere near my wife's private chamber," Loghain retorted.

"Yes, that would be correct except for when she is my patient. Now, if someone would direct me to her rooms," Anders said. Alistair felt his heart skip a beat. He knew something was wrong. She normally would never lose control like that in front of other guests. She must have been in severe pain to lose such a grasp on her emotions and Alistair was beginning to feel panic ebb its way into his mind. How bad was she injured? It couldn't have been too bad she walked here, but was serious enough that she needed a mage.

Loghain's face hardened and his eyes became cold, "She didn't look like she had any serious injuries."

"She had a dagger plunged into her side. It's not deep, but it is bleeding like a cive. I have concerns if I don't get the bleeding under control. She knew she had to come through here to get to her room and she didn't want to bleed like a stuck nug all over your party so I placed a healing poultice on the wound and bandaged it up tight, but now I need to attend to her. If someone could show me the way," Anders said.

Alistair expected Loghain to escort the mage to Amanda's rooms. When it was clear that Loghain wasn't going to move Teagan stood up, "Follow me I will show the way. Anora, which guest room is Amanda in?"

"The one at the end of the hall," Anora said.

Zevran leaned against Alistair's side and whispered, "I will go check on her." Alistair gave a slight nod.

Teagan lead Anders out of the room and down the hall. Alistair was completely irate that this man didn't even care that his wife was injured when all Alistair wanted to do was rush to her side and make sure that she was okay, but he was forced to remain here. "Are you not concerned for your wife's well being?" Alistair asked as he tried to hide his loathing.

Loghain grabbed his glass of wine and took a huge gulp. "She will be fine. The mage is just overreacting. Amanda has faced much worse and lived. Hell, if a bloody Archdemon couldn't kill her I don't think anything will. Besides she doesn't like to be pampered over."

Eamon rose from his chair, "Maybe it's just you she doesn't want pampering her. Now, if you will excuse me I will go check on our Commander." Alistair was surprised by Eamon's reaction, but pleased at the same time and had to suppress a snicker.

"Well, it seems our dinner party is breaking up. I think it would be best if I took my leave and allowed you to attend to the Commander's injuries," Alistair said as he stood up.

"Oh, do you have to go?" Anora asked.

"It would be inappropriate for me to stay when a member of your family had been injured. I had a lovely evening and hopefully we can do it again soon," Alistair replied.

"Well, at the end of the Landsmeet we are having a masquerade ball, I would be honored if you would attend as my guest," Anora said.

"The honor would be mine," Alistair said as he walked over to Anora, took her hand, brought it to his mouth and pressed his lips against her hand. "Till then your Majesty." Alistair heard Anora let out a sigh as he headed for toward the door.

*Dannazione Italian for Damn it

**Author's note - I wanted to thank CCBug for her help with helping me flush out some of the darker aspects of this story. I needed the story to have a dark feel to it, but I didn't want to to be dark and depressing. CCBug really helped keep me on track and focused. I really appreciate your help and great insight. You are awesome!**


	12. Chapter 12 Sweet Child of Mine

**Chapter 11**

"She's got a smile that it seems to me  
Reminds me of childhood memories  
Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky

Now and then when I see her face  
She takes me away to that special place  
And if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry

Whoa, oh, oh, sweet child o' mine  
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, sweet love of mine"

_Sweet Child of Mine by Guns and Roses_

Alistair paced around the study as he tried to remain calm. He had left the Palace hours ago and now the sun was beginning to rise over the ocean and still Zevran and Leliana weren't back. He feared the worst the longer he waited. What if her wound was deeper than Anders thought? What if it had punctured an organ? What if Anders couldn't get the bleeding under control and she bleed to death while he was here and not with her?

"Capo di tutti capi, she will be fine. You have to have faith that the Maker will pull her through this," Raulo said as he set down a tray of tea, bread and cheese.

"The Maker and I aren't actually on speaking terms," Alistair grunted.

"Well, maybe it's time you reacquainted yourself with him. He could give you the peace that you seek. By the way, here is the information that I found on Everett and I have already begun to make the appropriate contacts," Raulo replied as set down a folder beside the tray and headed out the door.

Alistair ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at the packet of information and was tempted to read the report, but he knew Raulo was right; it was time for Alistair to make amends with the Maker and for the first time in eight years he began to pray. He prayed as he had never prayed before as he begged the Maker to save her and not to take her from him once again. He knew it would be more than he could bear if he lost her again. He knew that he couldn't mentally or physically go through that type of anguish and grief again. If she didn't make it and he did lose her, than after justice had been delivered he would join her in the afterlife where he could be with her again forever with no more pain and no more sorrow.

Alistair was so immersed in his plea to the Maker that he didn't hear Zev come in until the assassin spoke. "Alistair, you will be happy to know that she will be fine."

Alistair spun around, "Thank the Maker."

Zev raised an eye brown, "I thought you and the Maker had parted ways."

"Well, when you are about to lose the woman you love again for the second time, you would be surprised how quickly you are willing to make amends," Alistair said.

"That I have no doubt, mi amico," Zev replied.

"So what took so long?"Alistair asked.

"Well, Anders wasn't joking about her losing a lot of blood. It took the mage half the night to get the bleeding under control and than the other half to stabilize her. But she is now doing fine and resting comfortable. I do like that mage. I definitely see me getting to know him a little better," Zev said.

Alistair ignored the last part of Zev's statement. "And Loghain?"

"Once he realized how seriously she was injured he tried to come in and see her, but Amanda demanded that he leave and when he refused Fergus and Teagan threw him out," Zev replied.

"I would have loved to have seen that." Alistair said amused.

"Si, it was very entertaining to say the least. Fergus is not as big as Loghain, but what he lacks in size he makes up for in feistiness. That has to be a Cousland trait," Zevran replied.

Alistair laughed. "Yes there are definitely a lot similarities between the two Cousland siblings. So I take it that Teagan is aware that Loghain is a complete arse and that their marriage is a complete farce," Alistair asked.

Zevran thought a moment before he spoke, "Fergus is well aware of everything that is going between Amanda and Loghain. It would appear that Teagan is close friend to both of the siblings and he has some knowledge of the circumstances, but he doesn't know everything because there were times that Amanda would talk in hushed tones if Teagan was to close by. The mage, Anders, is fully in Amanda and Fergus' confidences."

"And do we know what the situation is?" Alistair asked.

"I have been able to piece some things together, but I want to wait for Leliana to return to see what she has discovered before we start throwing out theories," Zev said as he helped himself to some bread and cheese and pour a cup of tea.

"Were you able to hear the conversation between Amanda and Loghain?" Alistair asked.

"Most of it and I am here to tell you that Amanda absolutely despises her husband. The names she called him would put most sailors to shame. I didn't know our lovely Warden knew such language," Zev said.

"How did you miss her stream of curse words that she spewed out when we were in the Deep Roads and that ogre flung her to the ground? I think she made the darkspawn blush," Alistair said.

Zev chuckled, "Yes I forgot about that."

"So what was that bit about, '…it's because of you that we are in this predicament. I am cleaning up your mess. If you could have kept your dick in your pants and had let me die the death I was meant to none of this would be happening'."

"Well from what I was able to gather while in her room, Amanda had every intention of dying on top of Fort Drakon, but Loghain had performed some type of dark sex ritual that saved Amanda's life," Zevran replied.

"A sex ritual? With who?" Alistair asked. Zev raised his eye brow and Alistair's face scowled as it dawned on him. "Morrigan," he hissed.

"Yes, that would be the logical conclusion. If I had known our little apostate was so kinky I would have tried harder to coerce her into a night debauchery," Zevran chortled.

"Please I just ate and would prefer not to lose the contents of my stomach," Alistair groaned.

" I think that would be have been a grand union, no," Zev exclaimed as he enjoyed the discomfort it caused Alistair.

"For Maker's sake, I am now going to have that disgusting visual stuck in my head," Alistair grunted.

Zev laughed, "Well, now who has a dirty mind?"

"I didn't say I wanted it in my head; it's just now stuck there. Like a bad song that just keeps looping in your brain. Now can we get back to the matter at hand? What else did you find out?"

"If you insist; there seems be consequences to this ritual that Amanda is not happy about at all, but what those are I could not determine," Zevran said.

"Good morning, boys," Leliana said as she breezed into the room.

"Thank the Maker you are back safe and sound. I was beginning to worry about you," Alistair said.

"Ahhh, your concern is touching. I'm sorry Alistair that I worried you, but I needed to make absolutely sure that the information that I had was a hundred percent correct," Leliana said.

"And did you?" Alistair asked.

"Yes, I was able to confirm it this morning. Please take a seat Alistair," Leliana said.

"Is it that bad?" Alistair asked.

"No, but trying to follow you while you pace around the room is making my neck hurt," Leliana replied.

Alistair took a seat beside her. "I think I discovered one of the reasons that Amanda married Loghain and allowed him to push everyone away." Leliana paused and took Alistair's hands into hers. "She has a daughter."

Alistair felt like he had been punched in the gut. All of the air went out of him, he pulled his hands out of Leliana's grasp and fell back against the chair. "That's just fucking great. Not only is she married to the man that I loathe, but she has the bastard's child."

Leliana laughed. "What the hell is so funny about that?" Alistair demanded.

Leliana continued to giggle. "She definitely gave birth to a bastard's child, but not the one you are thinking of."

"Leli, what are you talking about?"

"Her daughter, Ellie, is your daughter," Leliana said compassionately.

Alistair felt like he had been punched again, but this time in the head. He was completely stunned and his head was spinning. "My daughter? How do you know he's my daughter? Did you talk with Amanda?"

"I didn't have to talk to Amanda to know she is your daughter. She is a beautiful little girl who looks exactly like her mother, but she has her father's warm honey brown eyes. She is your child Alistair. There is no denying it."

Alistair ran his fingers through his long blond hair as the tears welled in his eyes, "I have a little girl."

Leliana smiled, "Yes, you do."

"And she named her Ellie," Alistair murmured.

"Yes, Ellie is short for Eleanor," Leliana replied.

"After her mother," Alistair said. Leliana nodded.

"I want to see her," Alistair said.

"Alistair, she is staying at the Palace under heavy guard. There is no way for you to get into see her," Leliana said.

Alistair's brow furrowed, "Heavy guard? Whose guarding her and why?"

"Wardens," Leliana replied.

"Wardens! Why the hell would they are guarding her?" Alistair asked.

"That is a very good question and one that we need to find out," Leliana said.

"We need someone on the inside, someone who isn't loyal to Loghain who can get us information," Alistair said. Alistair stood back up and began to pace again.

"You know that pacing is just as bad as when you use to wring your hands. It's a very bad habit and very unkingly. Would you sit the hell down? Because now, your making my head hurt," Zevran asked.

Alistair took a seat, "Listen, I think I know of someone on the inside, but I think the only way to convince him to work for us would to reveal who I am to him and his father," Alistair said.

"You're thinking of Arl Eamon and his son Connor," Zevran said and Alistair nodded. "Yes, from the dinner last night it would appear that Eamon isn't too happy with Loghain and has become very sympathetic to Amanda and having a mage fighting for our cause would be most beneficial. I think they would be an excellent choice. I suggest that you invite the Arl over for dinner sometime this week and reveal who you are to him at that time, but you need to realize, Alistair, once Eamon knows your alive he will want to put you back on the throne with Anora."

"Screw that! I will take the throne again, but it won't be because I marry Anora. The whole reason Amanda had proposed that I marry Anora was because we both believed that two Wardens couldn't conceive a child, but by some miracle we did. I have an heir to the throne and I will marry the woman I love or they can take their throne and stick it where the sun doesn't shine."

Both Zevran and Leliana broke out into uncontrollable laughter. Between gasps Zevran managed to say, "Spoken mi amico, with the authority of a true king. Congratulations I think you just became the King that Amanda always knew you would be."

**xxXxx**

Alistair had spent the better part of the evening entertaining Arl Eamon and the man still didn't have a clue who he was truly dining with even after Alistair dropped numerous hints about being an orphan, the Grey Wardens and the Chantry. By the time they retired to the study for a sniffer of brandy Alistair knew that he was just going to have to be as forward as possible.

"Earlier in the evening you had mentioned that you had raised King Alistair before he joined the Chantry," Alistair began.

Eamon squirmed a little before replying. "Yes, Alistair lived with me the first ten years of his life. Allowing Alistair to go to Chantry is one of my biggest regrets."

Well, now the Arl had diffidently peaked his interests, "How is that?"

Eamon thought a moment before he responded, "Have you ever loved a woman so much that you would have sold your very soul to just to please her?"

"Yes, I do believe I understand that feeling," Alistair replied dryly.

"Well, just after Alistair had turned ten I married this beautiful Orlesian woman who I was madly in love and would have given everything I owned to make her happy. Isolde was insecure about the rumors that were circulating around the castle that Alistair was my son. One look at Alistair and anyone could tell that he wasn't my son. However, the rumors persisted and Isolde grew more and more upset. She begged me to send him away. I finally gave in and sent him to the Chantry. I knew he would be safe there and well taken care of. I have regretted that decision every day of my life. I just wish I could have told Alistair that before he died," Eamon said solemnly.

"I am sure he knew how much you cared for him," Alistair said.

"I hope so. I really do," Eamon said.

"Eamon, I too was raised by a family friend and shortly before my tenth birthday my guardian sat me down and told me how my life was about to change because he was about to get married. But he reassured me that he loved and cared for me deeply. I have never forgotten his words," Alistair said as he watched Eamon's facial expression change from peaked interest to utter shock. Alistair smiled as he continued, "As a token of his affection my guardian gave me this gold golem statuette," Alistair sat the miniature statue on the table between them. "It has the words Hên vuin engraved on the bottom. Which are elvish…"

"Which are elvish for beloved child," Eamon said as he looked into Alistair's eyes and tears began to form. "Oh my dear boy, is it really you?"

"Yes, Eamon, it's me," Alistair said.

Eamon leapt to his feet and pulled Alistair into a tight embrace. For a moment Alistair felt like he was ten years old again and the desire to be loved and accepted by the only man he every really knew as a father became almost overwhelming and Alistair had to steady himself and regain his composure.

"Oh thank the Maker, your alive. I can't believe this." He released Alistair and looked into his eyes again. "I knew there was something familiar about you. Tell me, how is this possible and why the huge deception?"

So Alistair told him the entire story and Eamon's emotion ranged from outrage to horror to sorrow. "I still don't understand why you just don't come forward Alistair and bring charges against Loghain. The Landsmeet would side with you," Eamon said.

"Because there is no evidence that he did these things. It's my word against his and I don't want even the slightest chance that he could get away with this. I need solid evidence to bring against him, I need to know the extent to which Anora was involved and I need to save Amanda and my daughter from him," Alistair exclaimed.

"So you know about your daughter," Eamon said.

"I just recently found out," Alistair said.

"Alistair what are your plans after your remove Loghain from power," Eamon said.

"I plan on marrying the woman I love and raising our daughter together," Alistair said matter-of-factly.

"And do you have any other plans?" Eamon asked.

"Well, besides taking back the Theirin throne, no I don't really have anything planned after that," Alistair stated.

A huge grin spread across Eamon's face, "Well, that is good news to hear, very good news indeed. So I take it that Amanda knows you are live."

"No, she doesn't and she can't know yet," Alistair said.

"Alistair the news of your death nearly destroyed her. She is a shell of the person that she once was. She needs to know that you live," Eamon exclaimed.

"And she will Eamon, but she needs to believe I am dead just a little longer. I can't have her acting any different around Loghain. I don't want his suspicions raised at all. And if you and Connor can help me obtain any evidence that might help our cause I would be most grateful," Alistair said.

Eamon thought about it for a moment. "Anora has a small vault in her personal study that she has magically enchanted so that it's almost impossible to break into it. I don't know what she has in there, but whatever it is Anora holds it over her Father's head to keep his ambitions for the throne in check."

"We need to know what's in that safe," Alistair said.

"Yes, I would agree with that," Eamon agreed. "Let me talk with Connor and I will get back to you on this."

Eamon picked up the golem statuette and looked at before handing it back to Alistair, "When you meet your beautiful daughter you need to give her this."

Alistair nodded. "I will. Please tell me about my little girl," Alistair said.

"Alistair she is beautiful. I remember Amanda being a stunning child, but your daughter I think might be even more breathtaking. She has Amanda's features and her ringlets of chestnut brown hair that cascades to her shoulders and frames her face. But it's when I saw Ellie's eyes I knew she was your child. She has these big honey brown eyes that sparkle with delight and mischief. She has Amanda's curiosity and zest for life and your good humor and easy nature. She already is a force to be reckoned with in the training ring. Alistair, she will steal your heart the moment you met her."

"She already has and I have yet to even lay eyes on her. I can't wait to meet her. So do you know why she is being guarded by Wardens," Alistair said.

"I don't know all the details because Amanda claims it has to do with Warden secrets' and that is why the Wardens guard her. From the information that I have been able to gather Ellie is in danger, but why she is in danger I don't know. What I do know is that Anders is her personal body guard and is always with her unless he is on a Warden mission with Amanda. Ellie is never without at least five Wardens escorting whenever she goes anywhere and at least two of those Wardens are mages. There are always at least two guards outside her room at all times."

Alistair stood up and began to pace the room. His daughter was in danger from some unknown force. He had no idea how to protect her and he had never felt so helpless in his entire life. He needed answers and he needed them immediately. He couldn't protect her if he didn't even know what he was protecting her from. He may have to step up his plan and let Amanda know that he was alive sooner than he had intended.

Eamon stood up. "I know this is a lot to take in at one time Alistair, but you have to know that Amanda would lay down her life before she would allow anything to happen to Ellie."

"Yes, I do know that and that is what I am worried about. She is trying to handle this all on her own and she is going to get herself killed," Alistair retorted.

"She isn't alone, Alistair. In a very short period of time Amanda has impressively built up the numbers of the Wardens and they are all very loyal to her and to Ellie. Loghain is the odd man out and even though he is her second in command he has no control over them. They only listen to Amanda," Eamon replied.

Alistair had to smile. She did have the uncanny knack of invoking fierce loyalty in those that followed her. "I'm surprised that Loghain didn't try to become Commander of the Wardens."

"Oh he did! Anora named him Commander, but Weisshaupt denied the request and named Amanda Warden Commander of the Ferelden Grey."

Alistair couldn't help, but laugh. "Oh, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he received that letter."

Eamon's face went white, his hands began to tremble and he quickly stood up, "Well, I need to head back. I will talk with Connor in the morning and will send word to you by early afternoon."

"Eamon, what happened when he found out that Weisshaupt wouldn't support him as Commander and that they had named Amanda Commander?"

"Alistair, it was years ago. It's really not important now when it…"

"Eamon, what the hell happened?" Alistair demanded.

Eamon nervously ran his hand through his hair and he began to pace and the more the man paced the more nervous Alistair became, but he remained seated and forced himself to remain calm.

"Eamon! Tell me," Alistair demanded again.

Eamon took a deep breath and began. "It was a few days before the first Landsmeet since the end of the Blight. All of the nobles had already arrived and Fergus, Bryland and Teagan had stopped by the Palace to announce their arrival to Anora. It was during their visit that the letter for Loghain denying his request arrived at the Palace at the same time that the letter for Amanda arrived announcing her commission as the Ferelden Warden Commander arrived. The animosity between the Arl and Arlessa had always been palpable, but when the letters arrived I don't think Amanda could resist taunting Loghain about his defeat. Loghain completely lost control and attacked Amanda in front of Fergus, Bryland and Teagan…."

"Attacked…what do you mean attacked," Alistair said as he gripped the arms of the chair as his

anger quickly rose up and his body began to seethe with fury.

Eamon wrung his hand together. "Well…"

"Tell me, Eamon!" Alistair demanded again.

"Well, he punched her in face knocking her to the ground. She was unarmed at the time and Loghain drew his sword and began to advance on her. Fergus immediately drew his sword and attacked Loghain. He disarmed the Arl and was about to drive his sword through the man's heart when Teagan and Bryland stepped in," Eamon said.

"They should have let Fergus kill him," Alistair angrily grunted.

"Then Fergus could have been executed for murder. Loghain hit Amanda and was about to attack her, but he didn't. He was stopped before any real harm came to her," Eamon said.

"What kind of man hits a woman? A woman he claims to love. I don't understand how she could have married him," Alistair said.

"Alistair, it baffled all of us. Especially since it was obvious that she wasn't in love with him and that she still loved you and was mourning your death. When I learned of her pregnancy I thought it was because she didn't want to be an unwed mother, but then I began to see the obsession that Loghain has with her. Every move he makes is to try and hold onto her, but it just pushes her further away which only causes him to hold on even tighter. It's a vicious circle. It is evident to everyone that is close with Amanda that she holds nothing but utter distain and contempt for him. When she no longer hid her disgust for Loghain from those that she was close with I quickly realized that she didn't marry him because she didn't want to be an unwed mother, but what her reasons are I have never been able to figure out. The only thing that I am sure of is that Loghain had something on her that forced her to marry him, but he has lost that hold over her and for the past three years she refused to be pushed around by him anymore and has doubled the guards on Ellie. Loghain is not allowed anywhere near the child and the Wardens have been given strict orders to seriously injure and kill him if necessary if he attempts to approach Ellie. My fear, Alistair is that Loghain's obsession with Amanda is going to drive him to do whatever it takes to possess her even if that means killing her."

Alistair fell back into his chair stunned by all the information that had been given to him. His heart ached to hold her and protect her, to make all the pain that she had endured go away. She had been going through all of this alone, but not anymore. He was here now and all of the pieces were falling into place. She just needed to hold a little bit longer. Please Love, be strong just a little longer and subconsciously without even realizing it he reached out to her through the taint begging her to be strong just a little longer. "I won't let that happen," Alistair muttered.

"Alistair, you reappearance is an answer to prayer. I have been worried sick about Amanda and Ellie. I had failed to save you, but when you died I vowed to do everything in my power to keep your daughter and the woman that you loved safe."

"You didn't fail me, Eamon. I failed myself. We are here because I allowed my own stubbornness to destroy everything that was good in my life by not trusting her, by not having faith in her when she had put every ounce of her faith in me, but I have learned my lesson and I intend to make up for all the damage it has caused. I will save them!" Alistair exclaimed.

"Of that I have no doubt, my boy."

"Thank you, Eamon. I appreciate everything that you have tried to do to help both Amanda and Ellie and I appreciate all of the information that you have given me tonight," Alistair said.

"Of course, my boy. I would do anything to help you. Well, I think I best be going. I will speak with Connor first thing in the morning and send a message to you," Eamon said as he walked up to Alistair and pulled him back into his arms. "It's good to have you back. I have missed you terribly."

Alistair patted the Arl's back. "I have missed you too. Thank you for everything," Alistair said as he released the Arl. The Arl's show of emotions tonight had deeply touched Alistair and for the first time in his life he understood the man and the depth of his feelings towards him. Had the man made mistakes? Yes, but hadn't they all. However, Eamon had sought to atone for his mistakes by taking care of Alistair's child and the love of his life. Likewise, the way that Eamon had redeem himself in Alistair's eyes, he prayed that he would be able to make amends and redeem himself in Amanda's eyes.


	13. Chapter 13 Masquerade

**Well, being on Holiday has certain aided in the writing of this story. I think this is the third or fourth chapter in three days. Well, that will stop because tomorrow it's back to the grind. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 12**

"Just like a perfect dream, I don't ever wanna leave  
A thousand freaks in the show, one's a tiger, one's a lynx  
One's a king that suffering, moving high, moving love

Burning, I'm burning, can't you see it in my eyes?  
Wanna play in this game of disguise

It's a masquerade, a love parade, so won't you stay and dance with me

All though the night, I'll stay, my masquerade

I need you baby, so stay with me tonight"

_Masquerade by Backstreet Boys_

The carriage pulled to stop in front of the Palace, the coach man open the door and Alistair, Leliana and Zevran stepped out. As the stepped into the Palace courtyard Alistair realized that Anora had spared no expense on the outside décor of the Palace. Every walkway that led up to the Palace was lined with hundreds of candles. There were candle chandlers that were suspended in midair on looked like thick fishing line, but by the cover of night it gave the appearance that the chandlers hovered in midair. It was very enchanting.

Alistair wore a black and gold brocaded tunic with a gold mask that had spiral designs near the eyes.

Leliana stepped up beside him. She was dressed in a velvet lilac and silver gown that scooped low in the front and in the back. She wore a silver feathered mask, "Well, it would seem that the Queen does not want to be outdone by the Count of Monte Antivo."

"Yes, can't have a foreigner show up the Queen. That would unforgivable," Zevran interjected as he placed his hand on the small of Leliana's back and guided her up the path. Zevran was the most dramatic of the trio. He wore a satin black shirt with a black and red long vest over top. His trousers were tight black pants with black boots that came up just above the knee, but the most flamboyant aspect of his costume was the mask that was red and black with large desire demon horns that rose from the sides.

"I wouldn't want you to be understated, Zev. I thought the purpose of the two of you attending with me was to accompany Connor and take a look at Anora's vault. Those horns will have you standing out like a sore thumb," Alistair complained.

"Oh contraire, Il mio Re, I did some investigating and this mask was the most request mask by the local merchants. I will fit right in with the rest of the nobles," Zev retorted.

They made their way into the main hallway where Anora greeted her guests as they entered the Grand Ballroom. Before they headed over to Anora Leliana pulled him to the side and said, "Now, remember Alistair, Amanda will be here tonight, but you need to remain calm and focused. We are so close to having all the information that you need so please don't blow it. Remember you are the Count of Monte Antivo. You have no emotional connection to her."

Alistair nodded, "I've got this, Leliana. Stop worrying about."

Alistair approached Anora, he bowed to her and as he rose, took her hand, pressed it to his lip as he kissed her and then he turned her hand over and suggestively kissed her palm as he had done the first night that they had met.

She smiled, "Oh, Alonso, I am so glad that you could make it," Anora cooed.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Thank you for inviting me. The Palace courtyard was very enchanting and inviting," Alistair replied.

"Well, I took a page from your handbook on how to through a party. I am glad to hear that I impressed you," Anora purred.

"You don't have to work hard to impress me, your Majesty," Alistair stated. He glanced behind him and noticed a line beginning to form. "I will let you greet your guests and I hope to share a dance with you later on this evening."

"I hope that we will share more than a dance," Anora whispered suggestively.

Alistair grinned back at her, "Well that will be something to look forward too." Alistair said as he bowed and made his way into the ballroom.

"Well, my savvy mi amico it would appear that your charms have worked to well on our fair Queen," Zevran said.

"Yes, now I am going to have to spend the rest of evening avoiding being alone with her," Alistair amused.

"Well, that is a problem you will have to handle on your own. We are due to meet Connor near the entrances to the private chambers in fifteen minutes," Leliana said.

"I will find away to handle this little problem all on my own. You to head off to met Connor," Alistair said.

Alistair spent the next several hours mingling with the Ferelden nobles. The nobles that he had met on previous occasions recognized him by his accent and introduced him to their friends and families. He was like a prized marbi puppy being passed around from noble to noble. He was in the middle of a conversation Arlessa Bryland when he saw her standing across the room beside her husband. She was a vision and he felt the air rush out of his lungs as he tried, but failed to concentrate on his conversation with the Arlessa.

Amanda wore a the most incredible dress he had ever seen. The dress was made of a sparkling metallic gold and crinkled silk with a gold silk charmeuse underneath. The entire dress was covered in hundreds of beads and rhinestones that glistened like diamonds as the candlelight reflected off of it. The garment had an empire waist so that the bodice was fit tightly around her breast. The material at the top of the bodice scalloped over each of her breasts to reveal her long neck line and cleavage. The material just below her breasts flowed softly and elegantly around her body. The sleeves of the dresses rested off her shoulders exposing her soft creamy shoulders. Her long dark curls framed her face and emphasized the beautiful gold beaded mask that she wore.

Arlessa realized his distraction and turned to see what had his attention. She smiled as she turned back to him. "She is stunning isn't she?" Arlessa Bryland asked.

"Yes, she is," was all that he could muster.

"Have you had the chance to meet the Commander?" Arlessa Bryland asked.

"No, I have not had the pleasure of making the Arlessa's acquaintance yet," Alistair replied.

"Well, we must remedy that," Arlessa Bryland said as she took him by the arm and began to lead him over to toward Amanda.

"Oh, I don't think this is a good time," Alistair interjected. "Both the Arl and Arlessa look very busy. I don't want to disturb them," Alistair said as he tried to pull away from the vice grip that the woman had on his arm.

"Oh nonsense, I am sure she would be delighted to meet you," Arlessa Bryland said as they stopped in front of the couple. He was the Count of Monte Antivo he had no personal connection to her.

"My dear Amanda," Arlessa Bryland cooed and Amanda and Loghain turned toward them. "I would love to introduce you to Count Alonso De Tisi of Monte Antivo," the Arlessa continued.

Alistair pulled his shield tight and then bowed towards her. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Arlessa Mac Tir."

Amanda smiled graciously at him as she bowed slight toward him. "The pleasure is all mine, Count De Tisi. I heard a lot about you and I am glad that our paths have finally crossed," Amanda said and her beautiful eyes sparkled with delight causing Alistair's breath to hitch in his throat. He was the Count of Monte Antivo, he had no connection with her.

"Please call me Alonso," Alistair replied as he felt his mouth go dry.

She smiled that radiant smile of hers and cooed, "Only if you call me Amanda."

"I think I can manage that," Alistair said as his heart hammered in his chest and he hoped that she couldn't hear it.

Loghain turned toward them. He possessively placed his hand on the small of Amanda's back and Alistair noticed her stiffen and her smile falter slightly, "I see my dear, that you have meet our mysterious Count."

"Yes, we _were _having a pleasant conversation," Amanda said as she emphasized the word 'were'.

Alistair knew he should try to find an reason to excuse himself and walk away from her, but her warmth and charm was so alluring that he couldn't bear the thought of leaving her. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and hold onto her tightly. Before he even realized what he was saying Alistair turned to Loghain and said, "Do you mind if I steal your wife?"

Loghain hardened his stare at Alistair, "Pardon me?"

"For a waltz," Alistair added.

"Oh well my wife as an obligation to help greet all of the nobles. I don't think she has the time…"

"Oh I think I could spare a few minutes to dance with our foreign guest," Amanda interjected. Alistair held out his arm for her and she looped her arm through his as he led her to the dance floor.

He pulled her into his arms and she felt so good. He could smell the sweet smell of jasmine that wafted up and filled his senses causing his head to spin. He remembered all the times that he had explored her body with that alluring scent of jasmine guiding his way and he felt his body beginning to respond as he thought about their times alone together and he quickly pushed the memories away. He was the Count of Monte Antivo…there was no connection…no connection what so ever….exception the deep connection that his body felt with her now that she back in his arms where she belong, but other than that no connection.

She was staring up at him and he felt her taint probing at his shields.

"Is something the matter?" He questioned.

"You remind me of someone I once knew," she replied.

"Was this person important to you?"

She nodded. "Yes, he was my life," she whispered. Alistair felt his heart begin to pound as she looked deeply into his eyes….no connection, no connection.

"Well, I am flattered. What happened to him?" Alistair asked.

"He died," Amanda stated.

"I am sorry to hear that," Alistair said and he knew he needed to end this dance and walk away from her, but the thought of leaving her the warmth of her embrace caused a pain to shot through his chest.

He was so absorbed at having her back in his arms that he didn't realize that she had angled them towards the edge of the dance floor. She took his arm lead him off the floor and pulled him into a dark alcove.

"What are you doing?" Alistair demanded.

"You can't hide your taint from me," Amanda whispered.

"What are you talking about?" Alistair questioned.

"Alistair…"

"I am not this Alistair…"

"I can feel your taint, Alistair even with your shield," Amanda exclaimed.

"Arlessa you are mistaken," Alistair stated.

"No!" She exclaimed.

"I am not this man," Alistair said as he tried to lead her back into ballroom. He needed to get away from her before he lost complete control and pulled her into his arms. She pulled her arm out of his grasp. "Please Arlessa, I am only thinking of your reputation."

"I don't give a damn about my reputation. I beg you Alistair, please just hear me out," she pleaded and his heart was breaking.

"I am not your Alistair…" He was the Count of Monte Antivo…

Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over and down her cheeks. "Stop it! Just stop it!" Before he even realized it she leaned in and her soft lips pressed against his and every fiber of his being was screaming at him to take her in his arms, but he was the Count of something... he had no emotional connection to this incredibly beautiful woman whose tongue had just slid along his bottom lip begging him for entrance and without even thinking his lips parted and he drew her in as the sweet taste of her mouth completely enraptured him. The silkiness of her tongue glided over his as they danced and intertwined together and he was completely intoxicated with her, but he needed to walk away from her while his legs would still carry him

She gently pulled away from him and sighed, "I have never forgotten the feel of your lips, Alistair."

"I'm sorry, my Lady, but I am not your Alistair Theirin," he said as he broke from her grasp and fled the room and the Palace.

Alistair rushed into his bed chamber, ripped his mask off and flung it against the wall, "Arrrgh," he cried out as he slumped into a chair. He was trying to protect her, trying to save her, it shouldn't be this difficult and painful. He just needed to tell her; to hell with what Leliana and Zevran said. He knew her better than them and she was an expert at concealing her emotions. She would be able to handle this. He pulled himself out his chair, went to his bar and poured himself a sniffer of Brandy, drank the whole thing in one gulp and then poured himself another.

There was a knock at the door and Raulo walked in, "Excuse me, Capo di tutti capi, but there is someone here to you."

"I don't want to see anyone," Alistair grumbled.

"I beg your pardon, but I do believe that you will see me," Amanda said as she entered the room.

"I'm sorry, Capo di tutti capi. I didn't realize that she had followed me in here," Raulo said.

"It's okay, Raulo. Please leave us for now," Alistair said.

"Yes, my Lord," Raulo said as he left the room and closed the door.

"I thought that we had ended this conversation at the party," Alistair said.

"Is that one of your little jokes? It's been eight years maybe I don't recall your tone and inflection anymore," Amanda replied and before he had a chance to reply she continued. "I know it's you, Alistair. You can shield your taint from Loghain and other Wardens, but you can't hide from me."

"Arlessa Mac Tir, I don't have time for this," Alistair said and headed for the door.

"Alistair, please," she pleaded. "Please don't walk away from me. I am so sorry. Everything that has happened to you is my fault. I know you could never forgive me, but please give me a chance to explain."

Alistair turned to her, "How is it your fault?"

Tears strained her cheeks as she took a deep breath. "After I recovered from my injuries from the Archdemon, Loghain pulled me into his office and showed me the armor that you had worn during the final battle. It was still covered in your blood. Then he threw at me a long leather strap that looked like it had once been attached to the handle of a whip. The strap was covered in blood also. He had a blood mage in the room and he had the mage perform a ritual that showed that the blood from the armor was the same blood that was on the leather strap. He told me that he would keep you alive if I married him. If I refused he told me that he would have you killed and that my unborn child…our unborn child would suffer a similar fate as its father if I didn't comply. At that time the country was still in such upheaval that Loghain could have easily had me removed under the cover of night never to be seen or heard from again….he did it with you. How hard would it be for him to do the same thing to me and our child? So I agreed. From that point on every year near the anniversary of your supposed death Loghain would hand deliver a bloody leather strap and the blood mage would perform the ritual to prove it was your blood."

Amanda completely broke down, her legs gave out and she fell to her knees. "Oh Alistair, it killed me to know that this evidence that was proof that you yet still lived was a result of your suffering." Her voice broke and she bitterly wept into her trembling hands. In between her sobs she mumbled "Y-you have to believe me when I tell you that I s-searched for you. It took me y-years to track you down, but when I found out that he had you sent to Château de Désespoir I immediately sent spies to confirm that you were there, but by the time they had arrived you had already escaped and no one knew where you were."

Alistair fell on his knees in front of her and he pulled her against his chest, he ran his fingers through her hair and the light scent of jasmine inundated his senses causing his head to spin, "Oh Mandi," he moaned as he pressed his lips to her forehead.

"I failed you, Alistair. I am so sorry. I understand if you can never forgive me, but I needed to you to know…"

Alistair interrupted her as his lips crashed down on hers and he reveled in the hot, sweet taste of her, flooding his mouth and the warmth of her body as she pressed against him and he realized that for the first time in eight years he was once again whole and a content moan escaped his lips as he gently pulled away.

He kissed away her tears as they streamed down her cheeks and in between kisses he muttered, "You didn't fail me, Mandi. I failed you. You begged me to trust you and I didn't. As it turns out you were right. I am the one that owes you the apology. I love you, Amanda and I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you if you will let me. Can you ever forgive me, Love?"

His lips began to kiss every inch of her face until they found her mouth again. Oh, the delicious taste of her was pure bliss; she parted her lips and their tongues entwined and danced together. He couldn't get enough of her; the taste of her, the scent of her, the feel of her. "Oh, Mandi, I have yearned for you," he sighed against her lips.

"Oh Alistair," she moaned and he loved the way his name fall from her lips.

He pulled away from her, rested his lips against her forehead, panting as he tried to catch his breath. He pulled her against his chest; he never wanted to let her go again. He wanted hold onto her forever. Alistair stood up and pulled her up back into his arms. "Amanda, I meant what I said- I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you. I promise I will never hurt you again. Please tell me you can forgive me," Alistair whispered into her ear.

"Oh my Love, there is nothing to forgive," she sighed against his mouth.

He took her in his arms, kissed her again and the world melted away. He never thought it possible to get so immersed in another human being, but here he was, utterly lost in the tender beauty that was Amanda. All that he ever loved, all that he had longed for was once again in his arms and even though he didn't deserve her he was going to savor the peace that flooded his body as he clung to her and the comfort that she brought his soul. She was his salvation, she was his refuge, she was his home.

*Il mio Re is Italian for my King.

*Author's note – the inspiration for Amanda's dress is the dress that Drew Barrymore wore in _Ever After. _ That dress was incredible and I know that my description didn't even come close to describing that beautiful gown, but I hope that gives you some visual aid.


	14. Chapter 14 At Last

**This chapter is really a continuation from the previous chapter. I was just too tired to properly edit it. This chapter has adult content….you have been forewarned….Enjoy! ; )**

**Chapter 13**

"At last, my love has come along, my lonely days are over  
And life is like a song, oh, yeah, at last  
The skies above are blue, my heart was wrapped up in clovers  
The night I looked at you, I found a dream that I could speak to  
A dream that I can call my own, I found a thrill to rest my cheek to  
A thrill that I have never known, oh, yeah when you smile, you smile  
Oh, and then the spell was cast, and here we are in heaven  
For you are mine, at last"

_At Last by Etta James_

All that he ever loved, all that he had longed for was once again in his arms and even though he didn't deserve her he was going to savor the peace that flooded his body as he clung to her and the comfort that she brought his soul. She was his salvation, she was his refuge, she was his home.

Amanda murmured his name, low and deep in her throat with such a hunger that it sent a burning wave of heat through his body and that seared at his very soul. He hungrily and fiercely consumed her mouth and her velvety lips moved under his as she gave back all that he gave her. The softness of her body pressed against the contours of his chest felt so right; she fit to him as if she was made for him alone.

All the years of longing and desire flooded his body and he wanted…no he needed her right now and Alistair cursed himself for his complete lack of self control, but he knew that kissing her wouldn't be enough-not after the years of them being apart from each other. He wanted, he needed, more, so much more. And he knew, with her velvety touch and glorious body, she could give him more - more than he ever dreamed possible.

The feel of her body pressed to his stole away every rational thought from his head and all he could think about the need to draw her nearer, all he could feel was the hunger that coursed through his veins with every beat of his heart. His feet were moving before he even realized it as he guided her back toward the bed.

He wanted to torture himself the perfect nakedness of her body as he pressed his mouth to her body and reacquainted himself with all the supple intimate parts of her that he knew so well and that would make her gasp and cry out his name. He wanted to hear her chant his name as he brought her to the point of sheer ecstasy over and over again. He wanted to bury himself so deeply in her that he would be lost forever.

Alistair broke the kiss and stared down into her lovely face and he saw the same hunger and desire reflected in her eyes. The longing in her gaze left no room for hesitation and Alistair claimed her mouth with all the raw need that had held him hostage for eight years. Amanda moaned as she parted her lips to allow for a deeper caress. Alistair tried to be gentle, he tried to be patient, but the ravishing hunger that was now coursing through him wouldn't allow that. He eagerly tried to satisfy his hunger on the sweetness of her honeyed mouth, but he needed more of her. He stared down at her as he memorized the sweet angles of her face, her soft, dewy lips, and the warm sparkle in her eyes.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered as he pressed kisses across her cheek, down the side of her neck, across her shoulder and long her collar bone. He quickly unlaced the front of her dress and slid it off of her shoulders and it puddle on the floor. He fingers slid around her back and undid her small clothes and he let it drop to the floor. His finger cupped her firm breast as his thumb rubbed over the sensitive peak, she sighed with pleasure as he gently pinched her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She was so unbelievably supple under his touch and the sensation caused a hot surge in gut causing him to grow harder, the pressure in his lions becoming quickly unbearable.

Amanda had began to tug his tunic upwards, telling him without words what she wanted, Alistair pulled back enough to remove the shirt and dropped it to the floor beside her dress. She slid her hand up his chest sending shivers down his spine.

"Mmm, I forgot how beautiful you are," she moaned as she kissed his chest. Her hands slip around his waist and she hesitated as her fingers touched the multitude of scars that were on his back. She pressed kisses into his chest as her lips and body moved around to his back.

He heard her gasp as she saw the marks on his back. He was about to reach for her when he felt her gently begin to press her lips against each of the scars as she lovingly caressed his back with her hands. He could feel every breath she took as her mouth worshiped him; the warmth of her breath sent a shudder over him every time her lips pressed against a new scar. The sensation all but paralyzed him as he felt himself melt under the tender and loving assault.

She continued to press kisses into the scars as her hands slid around his waist and he moaned her name when she cupped him through his trousers and rubbed her palm against his erection. Her fingers nimbly undid the laces of his trousers, pushed them and his small close to the floor. Then her fingers wrapped around his think hard length. Her skilled fingers ran up and down him, without thinking about he was thrusting into her hand; the sounds that emanated from him grew louder as her talented fingers continued to work their magic on him. His eyes closed and his head tilted back as he moaned, "Oh Maker, Mandi my Love." His hips continued to move in time with her hand and he felt her tighten her grip and twist just slightly and he moaned again loudly.

He didn't know how much more he could take; he covered her hand with his and stilled her movements. "Maker… y-you need to stop, Mandi…"

"I don't wanna stop," she told him.

"Tu me rends folle," Alistair groaned as he spun to face her.

Surprise flickered across her face, but then she grinned at him and raised an eye brow, "Tu me rends humide."

He smiled and moaned, "You're going to be my undoing," as he grabbed her and pulled her to him, his mouth pressed down on hers, she parted her lips and his tongue eagerly sought out hers; the need to taste her, to devour her overwhelming him. He lightly nipped at her bottom lip and then pulled away slightly and whispered, "I want you so bad. Every fiber of my being is aching for you, Mandi. Voulez-vous enculez avec moi?"

"Oui! Then take me, I'm yours," she whispered and that was all he needed to hear. He eased her down on the bed and joined her as he lowered himself on top of her. He leaned over her and gently kissed her lips as he brushed his tongue along her lips as he gently pushed them apart he slid his tongue against her as he once again savored the taste of her. He broke the kiss and began to move his way down her body… the need to explore and taste every inch of her was over taking him. He cupped her breast and flicked his tongue over the hard nipple she moaned and he then cupped her nipple with his lips and tugged at it. She cried out his name as her body shuddered in response. He pressed his arousal into her thigh and she slid her hand down and rubbed it against his erection causing his hips to push harder against her as he tried unsuccessful to relieve some of the pressure.

He hooked his finger beneath her small clothes and she lifted her hips as he pulled the panties over her bottom and flung them to the floor. His eyes fervently devoured her magnificent body. He hungered with a voracious appetite for the woman before him and he feed his craving as his tongue stroked and swirled over her skin as he drank in the delicious taste of her. He parted her legs and slid between them. He kissed and licked his way up and down her the inside of her thighs and he heard her breath quicken with anticipation. He could see her wetness and basked in the evidence of her desire for him as he slipped his fingers between her slick folds and sank deep into her. As she moaned his name another rush of lust flooded his body and his swollen member pressed against her thigh as a merciless cry for relief. He took his thumb and gently rubbed it against her moist center. A tremor of desire rolled over her and he smiled that could still invoke this type of response in her.

His lips replaced his thumb as he sucked the swollen nub into his mouth. He licked at her as he lavishly drank her in, "You taste so sweet, Mandi," Alistair moaned. "Even better than I remember."

He continued to suck and lick her until he felt her stiffen, his fingers glided in and out working in rhythm with his tongue. She arched her back and cried out his name as her body quivered against his lips as the wave of pleasure washed over her.

Alistair couldn't take it any longer. He needed to be inside her…to feel her warmth enfold him; he slid up between her legs, her hips rose to meet him and in one swift move he entered her.

Her heat wrapped around him and as she contracted her muscles he cried out, "Oh Sweet Andraste, you feel incredible."

Alistair wrapped his arms around her and rolled her over so that she was on top of him. He looked into her beautiful face and he watched her face shutter with desire as she rode him, her breasts swayed and her dark hair cascaded around her face. Alistair watched her closely, his eyes wandering from her lovely face to pert breasts, which swayed enticingly with every movement she made.

Alistair reached up to caress her breasts and she leaned down so he could take her luscious nipple into his mouth; he sucked hard at it as she continued to ride him; she swirled and grinded her hips into him in a slow erotic dance.

You are so beautiful," Alistiar gasped as he pulled her toward so that his lips could seize hers as he kissed her greedily. "Maker, I love you," he moaned.

"I love you too, Alistair," Alistair gripped her hips hard, and moved her harder and faster as he pressed up against her and drove deeper into her.

"Oh Maker, yes Alistair, Love," she moaned and he felt her tighten around him. She made such a sweet keening sound as the ripples of ecstasy flooded through her. He watched her completely enraptured in sheer bliss as he finally let go and abandoned himself to the frenzied pleasure as he released into her.

Amanda collapsed onto his chest panting from exhaustion. His arms encircled her and he brushed his lips against her forehead. "Oh Mandi, I love you."

She eased herself up and smiled at him, "More than words can say."

He pulled her back down against his chest and relished in the afterglow of having her with him after eight years. He felt like he needed to pinch himself just to make sure this wasn't a dream - that she was really here.

She eventually slid off of him and snuggled up beside his chest. His fingers drifted through her hair and came to rest on the nape of her neck. "When can I meet my daughter?' He asked.

She sat up and looked at him, "When did you know about Ellie?"

"Yes, Leliana informed me earlier in the week that I had a daughter," Alistair said.

"Leliana is here?" Amanda asked gleefully.

"Yes and so is Zevran," Alistair replied.

"Really?" She asked enthusiastically, but then a frown furrowed her face. "Why are they here?"

"They are here to help," Alistair said.

"Yes, well that brings up another excellent question, what are you doing here Count De Tisi?" Amanda inquired.

"Can't a foreign noble visit your fair country?" Alistair asked innocently.

"That isn't why you're here and you know it," Amanda said.

"I am here to rescue a beautiful damsel in distress," Alistair said chivalrously.

"Oh and who would that be," Amanda retorted.

Alistair grabbed her sides and began to tickle her, "You of course," replied as she laughed and squirmed to get out of his grasp.

In between gasps for breath as he continued to mercilessly tickle her she said, "W-when have y-you ever know me to be a damsel in distress?"

"You seem pretty helpless right now," he chortled as he continued to tickle her.

"J-just you w-wait, Alistair T-theirin, I'll get you for this," she giggled helplessly.

Alistair finally took pity on her and stopped tickling her she collapsed against his chest as she tried to catch her breath.

She sat up and looked at him and was about to say something when the door burst open and Leliana and Zevran came rushing. "Alistair you aren't going to believe what we discovered in the vault..."

The both stared dumbfounded at Amanda still entwined in Alistair's arms. "Hi guys," she said earnestly as she waved at them and Alistair just smiled sheepishly at them.

"Re stupido, always thinking with the wrong head," Zevran said as he rested his hands on his hips.

*Tu me rends folle is French for you're driving me crazy

* Tu me rends humide is French for you are making me wet

* Voulez-vous enculez avec moi is French for will you fuck me?

* Oui is French for yes

* Re stupido is Italian for stupid King


	15. Chapter 15 Today My Life Begins

**Chapter 14**

"I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me  
leave the past behind me, today my life begins  
a whole new world is waiting it's mine for the taking  
I know I can make it, today my life begins

yesterday has come and gone and I've learn how to leave it where it is  
and I see that I was wrong, forever doubting I could win  
ohh just like all the seasons never stay the same, all around me I can feel a change"

_Today My Life Begins by Bruno Mars_

Alistair quickly grabbed the covers and threw them over Amanda to cover her up.

"Wow! Jinx, I always thought that I had a very active imagination, but my mind's eye didn't do your bosoms justice. They are spectacular," Zevran exclaimed.

"Well, if I have given your mind's eye enough _material_ to work with, would you be so kind as to leave so that we can put some clothes on?" Amanda retorted.

"Breasts like those should never be covered up. Alistair, how do you actually pull yourself away from such -"

"Zev, shut up!" Alistair growled.

"I'm just saying," Zev chortled.

Leliana grabbed Zev by the arm and pulled him towards the door. "We'll wait in the hall while you two make yourselves decent."

Alistair and Amanda quickly got dressed. As Alistair slipped his boots on, he watched Amanda scribbled a note on a piece of parchment, then opened the door to allow Zevran and Leliana to come in as she exited the room.

The group had just settled in the chairs in front of the fireplace, while Alistair poured everyone a glass of wine, when Amanda returned. Alistair eyed her suspiciously. "What was that about?"

She smiled warmly at him. "You will see in the morning."

She picked up her glass of wine and took a seat beside Alistair. "So, before we get into your reasons for bursting in here tonight, I would like someone to explain why the two of you are here and why Alistair is going around disguised as Count Alonso De Tisi of Monte Antivo?" Amanda inquired.

All three of them shifted uncomfortably in their seats, but Alistair spoke first. "Amanda, you know that I could never live without you, and that you mean -"

"Live without me? It took you three years after your escape from Château de Désespoir to arrive here in Denerim. I would say that you had been doing very well without me," Amanda said coolly.

Alistair shifted again, feeling his heartbeat quicken as he tried to explain. "Mandi, I thought you were dead."

"What? Why would you think that?" Amanda said.

"Loghain….before he sent me to Château de Désespoir, he told me why it takes a Grey Warden to kill an Archdemon, and he said that you willingly sacrificed yourself because you thought you had lost me for good." Alistair's voice broke, and he took a moment to collect himself. "For eight years I lived with the guilt that you were dead and it was my fault. It wasn't until I arrived in Denerim that I knew that you lived. It was Zev who discovered the reason was that Loghain had performed some dark ritual with Morrigan."

"You know about the dark ritual?" Amanda asked.

"I know of it, but I don't know any of the details," Alistair said.

Amanda sighed and thought a moment before she spoke. "There is much to explain, but now is not the time for that. Right now we have more important matters to discuss. So when you arrived in Denerim and you found out I was alive, why did you continue with the charade?"

"I needed to get my affairs in order before I could return to you. I was emotionally bankrupt. I couldn't come to you like that." Alistair's voice quivered slightly as he hung his head.

"You didn't seem too emotionally bankrupt last night," Amanda quipped.

A smile spread across his lips. "Well, you have a way of awakening things in me that I thought died a long time ago. I'm sorry, Amanda, that I didn't come to you when I arrived. I honestly believed I wouldn't be able to deal with seeing you."

"Alistair, you could have come to me, and I would have helped you, but coming to me didn't fall into your grand plans for revenge," Amanda said calmly.

Alistair's head snapped up. "How do you know about that?"

Amanda laughed. "You arrive in Denerim in grand style, masquerading as a Count. You're traveling in the company of an assassin and a bard. What am I supposed to think? That the three of you are here to take in the lovely Denerim sights? Now, tell me what you're up to," Amanda demanded.

"My dear, sweet Warden, we are here to rescue you," Zevran said.

Amanda laughed again. "Has everyone gone mad? As I said to Alistair earlier, when have you ever known me to be a damsel in distress?"

"So you were not coerced into a loveless marriage by a sadistic pig, who you to push all of your friends away? You have not given strict orders to your Wardens to kill him if he comes anywhere near your daughter, Ellie? None of that's true? Is all of our information wrong then, Jinx?" Leliana retorted.

Amanda's face hardened. "No, your information is as accurate as ever, Leli, but I do have everything under control. I have been working on gathering information on both Everett and Loghain so that they could be brought to justice."

"Justice! After what they have done to you…to me…to the both of us, they deserve more than Court justice. They both deserve to be destroyed the way they destroyed me," Alistair hissed.

Amanda's face softened as she leaned over and took Alistair's hands in hers. "Alistair, I can only imagine what you have been through. After seeing some of the evidence last night, I know it was horrific, but revenge isn't the answer."

"It's a good start," Alistair responded bitterly.

"Alistair, I know that you're in pain, and revenge is the confession to that pain, but it's a weak and temporary pleasure. You're better than that," Amanda countered.

Alistair pulled his hands out of her grasp. He stood up and began to pace the room. "See, this is why I didn't want you to know I was here. You don't understand! You could never possibly understand! For eight years, I believed you were dead and it was my fault. For five years, I was starved, beaten and left to rot in a cell."

Alistair looked into her beautiful face and saw the pain etched there, and it broke him. He fell on his knees in front of her. "Mandi, they didn't just steal five years of my life, they stole pieces of my very soul. All I have left is my hatred and my quest for revenge."

"That's not true, Love. You have me," she said, her voice breaking from the pain .

"Amanda, until I get those pieces back I will never be able to be with you, because I am not whole anymore. I am broken. I have to…no, I need to do this," he whispered as he buried his head in her lap and wept. He felt the warmth of her fingertips as she gently stroked his hair. He knew she could be his salvation, but would he even allow her to save him?

"Love, if this is something you feel you have to do, then I will help you," Amanda said solemnly.

Alistair lifted his head and looked into her eyes, now swimming with tears. "NO! No, Amanda, I don't want you involved with this. You and Ellie are already in enough danger because of Loghain. If he thinks for even a minute that I am back and that you had any knowledge of it, I know in my gut he will kill you. Please, stay out of this," Alistair begged.

Amanda caressed his cheek. "Tell me your plan, and I may be able to offer aid or information that will not bring suspicion to me. I have faced worse than Loghain. Please, let me help you. You say you need to do this to heal; well, I need to help you heal."

"She's right, Alistair. Both of you are in pain, and if you rely on each other again you might be able to get through this and have a life together. Helping each other will begin to mend those wounds," Leliana said.

He felt panic rise at the very thought of her being involved in that dangerous game, but as looked into her eyes, he saw her undying love for him and her desire to help . He couldn't bring himself to refuse her. "Okay," he conceded somberly. He got up, kissed her cheek and sat back down, feeling defeated.

Amanda leaned over and squeezed his hand as she turned to Zevran and Leliana. "So, when you burst into our room, you mentioned a vault. Whose vault?"

"Anora's," Zevran replied.

"What? You were able to get into Anora's vault? I have been trying to get into it for years. How did you do it?" Amanda asked.

"Connor helped remove the enchantments, and then Leli and I were able to pick it," Zevran replied.

"Connor?" Amanda turned to Alistair. "He knows your true identity?"

Alistair nodded.

"And Eamon, does he know?"

Alistair nodded again, and a slight smile spread across her lips. "Good, Eamon really berated himself over your death. I hope knowing that you are alive has brought him some relief. So what was in the vault?"

"You aren't going to believe it," Leliana and Zevran said in unison.

They looked at each other and smiled. "You tell them, Zev, you recognized what it was," Leliana said.

"Well, in the vault there was an Antivan Crow contract that gave the details of a paid assassination. The contract stated that at least two Crows were to board, under cover of night, a ship headed from Denerim to Antiva City. The Crows were to kill all the passengers on board and then sink the ship so that it looked like the boat went down during a storm. The target was Maric Theirin, and the purchaser of the contract was Loghain Mac Tir," Zev stated matter-of-factly.

Both Amanda and Alistair let out a gasp of shock. "A-are you sure?" Amanda asked.

"Very sure," Zevran said as he pulled the contract out and handed it to them.

Amanda studied it. "That is Loghain's signature," Amanda muttered, still in shock.

Alistair's face reddened. "The bastard hired an assassin to kill my father, but why? It was my understanding that they were friends."

"Howe was supposed to be my father's friend, but we all know that wasn't true. It actually makes sense, knowing Loghain the way I do now. From the things that I heard my father say, Maric was a strong leader and a beloved king. As a friend, Loghain wouldn't have much influence over the decisions the throne made, but if a young, idealistic king were crowned, and one who just so happened to be married to his daughter…well, then Loghain would have Cailan as his puppet, and he would be the puppet master. And as we know, Loghain isn't afraid to kill royal blood," Amanda replied.

"That son of bitch," Alistair growled.

Amanda stood up and began to pace as she worked through the details. "Alistair, can you ask your servant to come here?" she asked. Alistair nodded and sent word to have Raulo join them in his room.

Amanda continued to pace the room. "We need to immediately notify Eamon and have him call an emergency Landsmeet before all of the nobles begin to leave the city." Amanda held up the contract and waved it. "This is very clear evidence that Loghain committed an act of treason against the Fereldan throne, for which the penalty is death. By keeping this information secret, Anora has also committed treason. That is enough to remove her from the throne. However, I honestly don't believe that she kept it a secret to protect Loghain. I believe she used it to protect herself and to keep her father at bay."

"Didn't she realize that if she brought charges against him for treason, his death would have also protected her?" Leliana asked.

Amanda shook her head. "No, she knows her father is cunning, and if somehow he weaseled his way out of the charges she no longer would have any leverage to use against him."

"So what is stopping him from weaseling his way out this time?" Alistair asked.

Amanda smiled broadly at him, "You! Loghain assassinated one king and tried to falsely imprison another while he publicly declared that the king was dead. If we time this just right, between this evidence and your reappearance, along with your testimony of what he did to you, the Landsmeet will have no choice but to call for his execution."

Raulo came rushing into the room. "Capo di tutti capi, what is wrong?"

Amanda quickly wrote a note on a piece of parchment and sealed it. "Please take this to Arl Eamon's estate. Tell his guards that you have an urgent message from Arlessa Mac Tir. Give it to no one except Arl Eamon, and do not leave without a reply from him."

Raulo looked at Alistair. He nodded. "You heard the Commander."

"Thank you, Raulo," Amanda said.

She turned to Alistair. "It is a few hours before the sunrise. Whatever you plan on doing to Everett, you have one day to do it, Alistair. I asked Eamon to call for an emergency Landsmeet Sunday morning. By Sunday evening, I expect you to be named King of Ferelden again."

The group spent the next several hours strategizing for the Landsmeet. Shortly after sunrise, Raulo walked in with a tray of tea, breads, muffins and cheeses and set it down.

Then he handed Amanda a note. Amanda opened it and smiled, then handed it note to Alistair .

_Dear Eamon,_

_The goal that we have been working for is about to be achieved. The last piece of the puzzle has fallen into place. Please call an emergency Landsmeet for Sunday morning._

_Regards,_

_AC_

Scribbled at the bottom of her note were the words _"It shall be done."_

"You have been working with Eamon to gather evidence against Loghain?" Alistair questioned.

"Yes, along with Fergus and Teagan. I told you that I wasn't just sitting back doing nothing. Once I knew that you had escaped Château de Désespoir and your life was no longer in Loghain's hands, I began to look for solid evidence against him," Amanda replied.

"That's my lovely Warden - knock her down, but she gets back up again," Zev chortled.

There was a knock at the door, and Raulo entered. "There is someone here to see you, Capo di tutti capi."

Alistair's eyebrows furrowed. "I am not expecting anyone."

"I do believe you will want to see this person," Raulo replied.

"Fine, show them in," Alistair said.

A few minutes later, the door opened again and Alistair turned to greet his unexpected guest. In walked the most beautiful little girl he had ever seen. Her face was that of a cherub's; she had long, dark brown curls and honey brown eyes…his eyes. The moment that she saw him, her eyes lit up and a radiant grin spread across her face. "Daddy!" she exclaimed as she ran to him and leapt into his arms.

Shock rippled through his body, and he turned to Amanda. "She knows me? How?"

Amanda walked over and rubbed her daughter's back while her father clung to her. "Ellie is special, in many ways, but one of her gifts is the ability to dream about her parents' whereabouts, so that she knows we are safe when we are not with her. She has been dreaming about you all of her life."

Alistair didn't even realize that he was crying until Ellie cupped his face in her tiny hands. "There is no need to cry, Daddy. Today is a happy day," she cooed in a sweet, high pitched voice.

"Yes, it is," Alistair said as he kissed her cheek. "Today is a very happy day indeed." He pulled her to his chest and clung to her once again.

"So this is what a Count's bedroom looks like. Very nice. Going for the romantic gothic look? Do you think I can get something like this at the Keep?" Anders inquired dryly as he strolled into the room.

Amanda smiled. "Thank you, Anders, for bringing her."

"So you shack up with a Count and then you want to introduce Ellie to him like he's a member of the family?" Anders inquired.

"Hey now, wait a minute…" Alistair began.

"He is family, Uncle Anders. He's my Daddy," Ellie informed him.

Anders looked at Amanda, bewildered. "You slept with the Count eight years ago? I thought Alistair was her father."

"He's not the brightest mage from the tower, is he?" Alistair questioned.

"Normally, he is quicker on the uptake," Amanda replied.

Anders looked at Amanda, then Alistair, and then Ellie. "Oooh, I see, the Count and Alistair are one and the same."

"Give that mage a lyrium potion," Zevran said sarcastically.

"Hey, to be fair, in order to sneak out without Loghain noticing and be here at the crack of dawn I had to get up pretty damn -"

"Language, Uncle Anders," Ellie corrected.

"Sorry, Fiametta, pretty darn early. I'm exhausted. I had just fallen asleep with a beautiful noblewoman from the party when I was rudely awoken with a note demanding that I bring Ellie here in the morning," Anders said as he yawned and poured himself a cup of tea.

"Well, at least you got to take a noblewoman home. The only thing I got to do was catch a glimpse of Amanda's magnificent bosoms," Zev replied.

"I would have traded the noblewoman for a gander at them. Magnificent, you say?" Anders inquired.

"Superb," Zev quipped.

Alistair could see this conversation deteriorating, so he walked over to the table and sat down with Ellie in his lap while he helped her fix a plate of breads and cheeses. Once her plate was overflowing, he sat her in the chair, kissed her forehead and promised he would be right back.

Alistair walked over to Amanda. "You said that dreaming about us was one of her gifts. What are her other gifts?"

"There are quite a few, actually, and the older she gets the more she discovers," Amanda replied.

"Is that why Anders is her bodyguard and you have Wardens guarding her night and day?"

"Partly. There is a lot to tell you, and now is not the time. That is a discussion for another day, Alistair. The reason I brought her here today was so that you would realize what we are fighting for. Whatever it is that you are planning to do today, don't do anything that will jeopardize you from coming back to that little girl. You may not know her yet, but she knows you and loves you deeply."

"Through her dreams?"

"Yes," Amanda replied.

"So when she dreams about our whereabouts, what does she see?" Alistair questioned.

"A lot," Amanda replied.

"Such as?" Alistair inquired.

"It was through her dreams that I knew where Loghain had taken you, but she wasn't able to describe it until she was almost four. It was through her dreams that I knew you had survived your escape. That is how I knew you were with Isabela for three years, and that is also how I knew when you arrived in Denerim."

"You knew about Isabela," Alistair whispered.

Amanda nodded. Now her comment earlier about waiting three years made much more sense. Alistair saw the flicker of pain in her eyes before she pushed it aside. "It's okay, Alistair. You thought I was dead, and you needed someone. She was there to help you heal, and for that I will be eternally grateful to her."

She tugged at Alistair's shirt, encouraging him to step closer to her, which he happily did. His shirt was half unlaced, and she rested her hand on his bare skin, causing a shiver to pass through him at her warm touch. She looked at him with her big green eyes. "But if she thinks I am going to share you, she is sadly mistaken. Once was enough."

He laughed and brushed his lips against her forehead. "My Love, the moment I heard that you were alive, every woman in Thedas disappeared."

"Good to know. Now, you have things to do today, so I best let you take care of them. I will see you tomorrow morning at the Landsmeet."

"You can't come back tonight?" Alistair asked, disappointed.

"No, the last thing I want to do is raise Loghain's suspicions. Don't worry, Love. We will have the rest of our lives to be together." She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. She felt so wonderful in his arms; he didn't want to let her go. That day had been the best day of his life. The woman he loved was back in his life, and he met his precious daughter. The two of them were what life was about.

She broke away from the kiss. "Till tomorrow." She walked over to Ellie and whispered in her ear.

Ellie ran over to Alistair and threw her arms around his neck. She kissed his cheek and whispered, "Can I tell you a secret, Daddy?"

Alistair nodded.

"Well, I dreamed that after tomorrow we are going to be a family," Ellie said.

"Do all of your dreams come true?" Alistair asked.

"All the important ones…it's a gift," Ellie said as she kissed his cheek once more. Then she ran over to Amanda and took her hand. Amanda waved, and Alistair watched as the two most important people in his life walked out of the room. He vowed that after today he would never do anything to hurt either one of them ever again. After today his life…his real life would begin.

*Fiametta is Italian for little fiery one

*I want to thank my beta browncOat83 for her helpful edits and suggestions for this chapter. I appreciate your help.


	16. Chapter 16 Another One Bites

**Chapter 15**

"There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man, And bring him to the ground  
You can beat him, You can cheat him  
You can treat him bad and leave him when he's down  
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you, I'm standing on my own two feet  
Out of the doorway the bullets rip repeating the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust, another one bites the dust  
And another one gone, and another one gone  
Another one bites the dust, hey, I'm gonna get you too  
Another one bites the dust"

_Another One Bites the Dust by Queen_

As Amanda, Anders and Ellie approached the Palace gates, Ellie tugged at Anders' arm. "Yes, Fiametta?" Anders said.

"Loghain is waiting in the main hall for our return," Ellie answered.

Amanda paused. "Okay, Anders, take Ellie in the Palace through the servants' entrance. If anyone questions where you were, tell them that I had asked you to take Ellie to visit Eamon."

"And you? If he is waiting for you it's because he realized you weren't here last night," Anders said.

"Don't worry about me, Anders, I can take care of myself," Amanda replied.

"I want you to come see me after you see him. I want to see for myself that I don't need to cast any healing spells," Anders countered.

"Yes, mom," Amanda said sarcastically as she turned to head for the main entrance.

As Ellie had predicted, Loghain was waiting in the main hall. The moment that he saw her, he leapt out of his chair. "Where the hell have you been?" he demanded.

"That is none of your damn business," Amanda replied calmly.

"You're my wife, of course it's my business," Loghain countered.

Amanda laughed as she started to make her way toward the private chambers. "I am your wife in name only. Don't try that husband authority bullshit with me again."

"You have been out all night. You come home dressed in the same clothes that you wore last night to the masquerade. I have every right to know where you have been," Loghain challenged.

"Since when do I answer to you?" she shot back.

Loghain rushed toward her and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Since the day you said I do!" he spat at her.

She laughed in his face. "I will never answer to you!" she hissed. Before she could move out of the way, Loghain smacked her across the face. The impact from his gauntleted hand was so strong that it knocked her to the floor, causing her head to spin.

Loghain grabbed her by the corners of her dress and yanked her to her feet. "You fucking whore, you are still wearing the same dress that you wore to the dance last night, and you expect me to sit here and take it." He brought his arm back to hit her again, but before he could execute the hit Amanda's knee slammed into his groin. He instantly released her and doubled over. Amanda slid the dagger out of the holder on her thigh and slipped it under Loghain's chin.

"The next time you touch me, it won't be my knee that creates the pain that is now in your groin. It will be something that causes a bit more permanent damage." To emphasize her point, she twisted the dagger ever so slightly, causing a nick in the skin. "Do I make my point clear?"

Loghain, still doubled over in pain, only grunted.

"Good," Amanda said as she strolled off to find Anders.

**XxXxx**

During his stay in Denerim, Alistair met Arl Everett at several social occasions. At the masquerade dance, Alistair had let it slip that he had some _'_less than legal merchandise' arriving in Denerim, and he was worried about getting through customs. The Arl immediately recognized the opportunity to make some extra coin. When Alistair sent him a note about meeting at the docks that evening to discuss their business arrangement, the Arl eagerly agreed to the meeting.

Alistair made his way down the dark alley toward the entrance of Everett's warehouse. He touched the pommel of his sword just to reassure himself. If all went according to plan, he would never even have to unsheathe it, but he would rather be safe than sorry.

He slid the door to the warehouse open and entered the dimly lit room. There were crates stacked up from floor to ceiling, creating a narrow path. Alistair followed the path to a larger open area near the center of the room. Everett waited for him there at a table.

"Aaah, there you are, Count De Tisi. I was beginning to worry you that you had changed your mind," Everett said.

"I do apologize for my tardiness. I was unexpectedly delayed," Alistair replied. He took a seat at the table, and Everett poured him some wine. Over the next hour, Alistair and Everett worked through the details of the shipment and how it would get through customs. After they had finalized all the details, Everett poured them another glass of wine.

Alistair raised his glass. "To the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship."

Everett raised his glass in response. "Here, here."

Both of them took a sip of wine. "May I pose a question?" Alistair asked.

Everett took another sip of wine and said, "Of course."

"Why did you tell Arlessa Mac Tir eight years ago that King Alistair had died?" Alistair inquired.

"Aaaah, because he had been killed during the final battle," Everett replied.

"Even though you knew that information to be false," Alistair countered.

Everett's brow furrowed. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Alistair casually took a sip of wine, "Oh, but I believe you do. You know very well that Alistair didn't die during that final battle and that you and your new friend Loghain had him sent to Château de Désespoir."

Everett jumped out of his chair, but Alistair remained seated. "Your Grace, I have no idea what is provoking this, but I assure you that whoever you received your information from has misinformed you."

Alistair smiled ominously at Everett. "You see, I had to ask myself, what did my old friend have to gain by lying to Amanda that Alistair was dead, and the answer is absolutely nothing."

"See, nothing, so since the hour is late we…"

"But if my old friend Ser Everett, now the Arl of Denerim, doesn't gain from this lie, then the question is, who does?" Alistair questioned.

Everett began to gather his cape. "My dear Count, the hour is late…"

"I think the clear beneficiary of Alistair's death is Loghain Mac Tir," Alistair interjected.

Still holding his cape, Everett stared at him with fear and anxiety. "I don't understand what this interrogation has to do with me."

Alistair gestured to the chair. "Have a seat; I'm about to tell you."

Everett reluctantly took a seat.

"It has come to my attention that shortly before your suspicious reunion with Alistair at Fort Drakon you were still a part of the Denerim Chantry, and you were extremely unhappy with your stay there. You begged Knight Commander Aaron to release you from your vows; however, the Knight Commander told you that although you were a disgrace as a templar he would never grant your request. So there you suffered, a lyrium addicted templar, as you fed your rage and anger at the Knight Commander until a chance meeting with Loghain at the Chantry. He saw your dire need and offered you a solution. He would kill the Knight Commander, make it look like a robbery, then make a sizable donation to the Chantry to help persuade the Reverend Mother to release you. In return, all you had to do was set up Alistair's death."

Everett's face had gone white, and he took a gulp from his wine. "That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. You have no proof. You have nothing but speculation and supposition."

Alistair looked at him coldly. "You're wrong. I have Loghain."

"What? He's the one that slit the Knight Commander's throat. Loghain would never confess ," Everett retorted.

A sly smile slid across Alistair's face. "You're right, but you just did."

Again Everett looked at Alistair like he had lost his mind. "So what? That won't hold up in Court. It would be my word against yours. Who would believe a foreigner over a Blight Hero?"

Alistair was on his feet and before Everett could even react Alistair grabbed the arl's collar with his left hand while he slammed his right fist into the man's face. He could hear and feel the crunching of the bones in the other man's nose. The force of the blow rocked Everett in his chair.

"Don't you ever call yourself a Blight Hero again. You rode on the coattails of others and were given false recognition for the brave actions of others. Many brave and honorable men and women died during that battle." Alistair punched him again and then released his grip. Everett would have crashed to the floor if it weren't for the two large hands that grasped him under his arm pits.

"You're right, that confession wouldn't hold up in court, but I wasn't looking to send you to court. That would be too civil for the likes of you. The two big, brawny men now holding you up are Knight Commander Aaron's brothers; meet Fenton and Griffith. They aren't interested in courtroom justice either. They just needed to hear what your involvement was in their brother's death. Now, I believe they will administer their own type of justice," Alistair said unemotionally.

Panic began to set in as Everett looked at the two burly men holding him, then he looked at Alistair. "What did I ever do to you?"

Alistair dropped his Antivan accent. "You tried to destroy my life, but you didn't take into account that the need for vengeance can drive a man to overcome many adversities. You should have driven that sword through my chest in that cell when you had the chance, but your day for vengeance is over, and now it's my turn. I won't make the same mistake. Your day of reckoning is here, old friend."

Everett's eyes widened. "Alistair?"

Alistair gave no reply but a callous smile. Everett began to scream and squirm as the brothers dragged him out. Fenton lifted his large fist and slammed it into Everett's face. The man's legs buckled just before he lost consciousness.

Out of the shadows emerged a shapely silhouette. Alistair smiled. "My dear Captaino, I am in debt to you once again for your assistance."

Isabela sauntered up to him as she placed her hand on his chest. "I do believe that I told you that you always have an ally in me. All you have to do is ask, mi Re Amato."

Alistair laughed. "So I am no longer the perished king; I am now beloved."

"Well, I heard rumors that there was an emergency Landsmeet called for tomorrow morning. I do believe that if Amanda has her way…which somehow she always does, that you will be King by the end of the day. And you will always be beloved to me," she cooed as her hand began to slide down his chest to his hip.

Alistair smiled and gently grasped her hand. "You will always be beloved to me, too."

She looked at his hand over hers, then into his eyes, and smiled sadly. "So I see that all is right once again between you and your lovely Warden."

Alistair nodded. "Well, if you ever want to make her jealous, you know where to find me."

Alistair leaned in and kissed her cheek as he murmured, "Thank you, Isabela…for everything."

She gently rested her hand on his chest. "Anytime, my King, anytime." She stepped back from him and once again faded into the shadows.

**XxXxx**

Alistair fidgeted with the greaves of Cailan's armor. After the final battle, Amanda had the armor repaired and then hid it in Eamon's vaults so that Loghain could not get his hands on it. She asked Eamon to bring it to Alistair's estate so that he could wear it to the Landsmeet. Also, much to Amanda's reluctance, she felt it was best if Alistair looked as close to his appearance eight years ago as possible and asked him to shave his goatee and cut his hair short. When she first saw him before she headed into the Landsmeet, tears brimmed in her eyes. Alistair pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry, Love; I know you were partial to the long hair and goatee."

"No, Alistair, it's not that. It's that you look just as handsome as you did the day I kissed you good-bye and headed to the top of Fort Drakon. It was that day that began this terrible nightmare, and now we are so close to it finally being over."

Alistair ran his fingers through her hair to the nape of her neck . "I am this close to finally having you be mine and making you the rightful Queen of Ferelden."

"Is that a proposal?" Amanda asked.

"No, Love, I promise when I ask you to be my wife, there will no doubt in your mind that I just asked you to be my wife." His pulled her to him as his lips brushed against hers, and she melted against his chest as her arms slid around his neck. His lips covered hers as he captured her mouth. He traced his tongue slowly around the inner edge of her mouth and then slipped his tongue in deeper, probing and exploring. She arched against him, and Alistair lost himself in the kiss and in her sweet taste.

While he still had control of all of his senses, he gently nipped at her bottom lip and pulled away. "We need to stop this, or I may pull you into a dark room somewhere and we may not make it to the Landsmeet," he whispered.

She feathered several light kisses against his lips. "We will continue this tonight, your Majesty."

"I'm holding you to that, my Queen," he replied. He kissed her forehead before she completely pulled out of his embrace and headed into the Landsmeet hall.

He stood just outside the side door near the dais. From that position, he could hear and see the proceeding. Anora stood at the top of the dais; she had just called Eamon up to address the Landsmeet.

"Well, Eamon, it would seem that you are up to your old tricks once again. Calling for a Landsmeet without the consent of the throne," Loghain challenged.

"Well, once again your actions demand that I do so," Eamon retorted.

"My actions? What, pray tell, has your feeble mind dreamed up that I have done now?" Loghain inquired.

Eamon stepped forward so that he could directly address the nobles. "It is with a grave and heavy heart that I address you today. Evidence has come into my possession that directly incriminates Loghain in the death of King Maric."

There were loud gasps throughout the room. Fergus stepped forward. "How can that be? Maric died at sea."

"That is what we were led to believe, but that is a lie," Eamon said. Several servants began to hand out sheets of parchment. It had taken dozen servants half the night to make all of those copies.

"What you are now receiving are copies of a signed Antivan Crow contract that shows Maric Theirin as the target, and the purchaser who signed the contract was Loghain Mac Tir. The contract states that the Crows, under the cover of night, were to board a ship that was headed from Denerim to Antiva City. The Crows were to kill all the passengers on board and then sink the ship so that it looked like the boat went down during a storm at sea. I hold the original contract here if anyone wishes to examine it." Eamon held up the contract and waved it.

Alistair could see that Anora's face had lost all of its color and was utterly pale. He also noticed that her hands were shaking uncontrollably.

Alistair's attention was diverted from the dais when Loghain begin to rush forward, but Amanda had expected him to make the move and stepped in front with her sword and dagger already drawn. "Give me reason, please," she hissed as she pointed her sword at his throat. Alistair silently prayed that he gave her a reason.

Loghain backed away. "I only wish to see this false document that supposedly has my signature on it."

"Oh don't fear, Husband, I vouched for the authenticity of your signature. It's yours," Amanda confirmed, her swords still pointed at her husband.

"In my own defense, am I not allowed to view the documents that might bring about my death?" Loghain pleaded.

Amanda moved closer to Loghain with her sword aimed at his heart. "Eamon, show him the contract. Loghain, if you so much as flinch a muscle while you hold that contract, I will run you through."

Eamon stepped forward and handed Loghain the contract. Loghain studied it and then handed it back to Eamon. "It is a good forgery, so good I can see how it would fool even my wife, but it is a forgery nonetheless. That is not my signature, and I have never seen that contract in my life. I am being set up," Loghain declared.

The room broke into an uproar once again, as angry nobles waved their copies of the contract. Again Fergus stepped forward. "Eamon, where did this contract come from?"

"I have suspected for some time that Loghain was involved in Maric's death, but I had no proof. I also knew that Anora held something over Loghain that she used to keep her father in line, and she kept this evidence in her personal vault. Even though it is a high crime to break into the Sovereign's vault, I believed that what I would discover there would be more vital for the safety of Ferelden than the law I broke, so I had Anora's vault infiltrated," Eamon explained.

"Are you saying that our Queen knew of her Father's treason and covered it up?" Arl Bryland demanded.

"Yes, I am afraid so," Eamon said.

"No, that is not true," Anora declared. "I knew of my father's actions and did not divulge the information not because I was trying to protect him, but to keep him from trying to manipulate the decisions that I made for Ferelden. I was worried that if I brought charges against him and he managed to convince the Landsmeet that the documents were false, I would no longer be able to control the throne. What frightened me even more was that if that happened and I didn't do what he demanded of me, he would have me killed like he did Maric, Cailan and…." Anora stopped short. Alistair was surprised that Anora was willing to implicate her father in Cailan's death, and his stance regarding her fate softened a little.

"And who?" Amanda demanded.

Anora looked at Amanda, unsure of how to go on. Amanda gave her slight encouraging nod and repeated the question. "And who, Anora?"

"Alistair," Anora declared, and once again the room was thrown into turmoil.

After several minutes of outrage from the nobles, Loghain's voice boomed above the rest. "That is outrageous. Alistair died at the hands of an ogre."

"That is just what you wanted everyone to believe," Amanda challenged. "There was no body and no evidence to support that story. It was just your word, a man Alistair despised, and that of a childhood friend, who suspiciously re-entered Alistair's life shortly before the final battle and afterward was elevated to Arl of Denerim, despite his lack of noble blood ."

"Loghain is a good man, a hero. Where is the proof?" Bann Ceorlic demanded.

"I'll provide the proof," Alistair said as he walked into the Landsmeet Hall. There were cries and gasps, and several of the noblewomen fainted as they all stared at their resurrected King. Alistair relished the look of terror that now filled Loghain's face. He made his way up the dais and held up his hand for silence.

"By the Maker, Alistair, how?" Arl Teagan questioned in utter bewilderment once the room quieted.

"After the final battle, Arl Everett attacked me and held me prisoner in one of the Palace cells. It was there that Loghain visited me and condemned me to Château de Désespoir, where I spent the next five years of my life until I was able to escape." There were loud cries of outrage from the crowd, but once again Alistair held up his hand for silence.

Once the room became quiet again, he resumed. "I could not come back to Ferelden until I had the evidence of not only Loghain's treason against me, but against my father and my brother. Loghain has a bad habit of killing Theirins when he can no longer control us or when we don't fit into his grand scheme. This man is a traitor to the Crown, to the people of Ferelden and to this country, and he must finally pay for those actions."

Alistair turned toward Loghain. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Loghain looked absolutely defeated. He sadly looked at Amanda and muttered, "You were my one weakness. I always knew you would be my downfall."

"I wasn't your downfall. Your greed, pride and inhumanity were your destruction," Amanda retorted.

Fergus stepped up onto the dais. "Under Fereldan law, the punishment for assassination of a king is death by beheading. I motion for the execution of Arl Loghain Mac Tir. Does anyone second the motion?"

Arl Teagan stepped forward. "I second the motion."

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Landsmeet, please let your voice be heard and cast your vote on the execution of Loghain Mac Tir," Fergus declared.

One by one, the nobles voted in favor of the execution of Loghain. The only noble not to vote for execution was Bann Ceorlic.

Fergus stepped forward again. "As for the matter of Anora and her involvement regarding withholding this treasonous information. What should be done with her?"

Amanda stepped forward. "I believe Anora when she said that she used the information to keep her father from trying to control the throne. I also believe that if she would have brought this information forward and the Landsmeet didn't validate the legitimacy of the contract, Anora would have lost whatever control she had over Loghain. She would have become a puppet of his, or if she refused that a tragic accident would have befallen her. However, withholding such vital information cannot be overlooked. I put forth that Anora should be removed from the throne and stripped of all of her titles, but because of her service and loyalty to Ferelden she should be allowed to hold onto her lands. Do I have a second motion?"

"I second the motion,' Arl Bryland responded.

Again all of the nobles voted in favor of removing Anora from the throne and stripping her of her titles except for Bann Ceorlic.

This time it was Arl Bryland that stepped forward. "This leaves Ferelden currently without a ruling Sovereign. Alistair is the last of the Theirin bloodline. We declared him King at the Landsmeet before the final battle, and after everything he has been through I believe now more than ever that he should be the King of Ferelden. I motion that Alistair should be named King of Ferelden. Do I have second motion?"

"I second the motion," Fergus said as he winked at his sister.

Once again all of the nobles voted in regard to making Alistair king, and this time the vote was unanimous. Alistair Theirin, son of Maric Theirin, once again became King of Ferelden, and this time, knowing that Amanda would be by his side, he gladly accepted his duty.

*mi Re Amato is Italian for my beloved King.


	17. Chapter 17 My Love

**Chapter 16**

"Ain't another woman that could take your spot my Love  
If I wrote you a symphony, just to say how much you mean to me (What would you do?)  
If I told you you were beautiful, would you date me on the regular? (Tell me would you?)  
Well baby, I've been around the world, but I ain't seen myself another girl (Like you)  
This ring here represents my heart, but there's just one thing I need from you (Say I do)

_My Love by Justin Timberlake_

The past week had been such whirlwind of activity, and everything was a blur in Alistair's memory. After the nobles voted to make Alistair their King, Fergus called for the immediate execution of Loghain. All of the nobles quickly agreed, and the execution was set for the morning two days after the Landsmeet. Fergus also argued that, due to the unrest that Loghain's execution and Anora's forced abdication would cause, Alistair's coronation should take place as quickly as possible. Since all of the nobles were still in town, the coronation was set for a week later.

Alistair couldn't have been more pleased with how his plans had fallen into place. It seemed just like yesterday that he and Isabela had begun to formulate their plan.

_Isabela curled up against Alistair's side and let out a long sigh of satisfaction. She rested her hand on his chest and slowly slid her hand down Alistair's chest toward his pelvis. Her hand came to rest on his now relaxed manhood. "Well, that was quite a workout for your iron rod," she cooed._

_Alistair raised an __eyebrow."Iron rod?"_

_She smiled__. __"Rod of Iron –The Furry Gap Crack__er ?"_

_Alistair doubled over with laughter__.__ "Oooh, I think I like that one better."_

"_Or how about Sword of Deep Penetration, Lance of Magnitude, Saber of Satisfaction," she proposed._

"_Two can play at that game – how about Box of Bliss, Valley of Heat or__…..Velvety Sword Sheathe."_

_Isabela laughed__.__ "I like that last one." She continued to rub and stroke him__,__ trying to revitalize him, but Alistair didn't think she was going to have much luck. He was exhausted._

"_So tell me__,__ Alistair, what is this great plan of revenge you are dreaming up?" she asked._

_Alistair brought his arm back and rested it under his head__.__ "You mean besides cutting off their heads?" Isabela nodded. "Well, I'm not sure."_

"_Alistair, as satisfying as lo__pping of their heads will be__,__ I believe you will take more satisfaction from destroying their lives. The only way you can do that is to get close to them, learn all of their dirty little secrets and use it to bring them to their knees."_

Alistair had agreed with her words of advice, and the two of them began to devise the plan that Alistair had just implemented. There had been a few alterations – the main change had been when he found out that Amanda was alive. That discovery changed everything. The original plan had been to seduce Anora in order to get close to her and discover her involvement with her father. With Amanda alive he knew he could not sleep with Anora, but he still had to play on her emotions in order to gain access to the Palace. Anora had been furious with him, and the day after the Landsmeet she cornered him in the library and confronted him.

"How dare you use me and toy with my feelings in such a cruel and heartless way?" she demanded.

Alistair could understand her anger and her embarrassment. "Anora, I am sorry. I never meant to be cruel or to cause you strife, but it was critical that I gain your trust so that I could gain access to the Palace."

"You could have come to me and told me who you were. I would have helped," Anora exclaimed.

Alistair couldn't help but laugh. "You would have helped me - really? I somehow doubt you would have been inclined to give aid to the man that you fought against being named king and only begrudgingly agreed to marry eight years before."

"Alistair, back then I didn't realize all the things my father was capable of…"

"Really, abandoning your husband on the battlefield or having Howe imprison you weren't big enough clues for you to figure out that the man was ruthless and would stop at nothing to get what he wanted?"

"Alistair, I didn't see that side of him back then. He can be very persuasive and charming…"

"I am sick to death of hearing how charming that man is. He is a manipulative, sadistic pig that is about to get what he deserves. I couldn't trust you, Anora, because you are his daughter, and I had no idea how involved you were with his plot against me," Alistair angrily interrupted.

"You have to believe me. I had nothing to do with what he did to you. It wasn't until Amanda brought up discrepancies in my father's story regarding your death that I even began to question the legitimacy of his story, and that is when I started to look for evidence of my own. That summer while on Royal Progress, when we arrived at Castle Gwaren I took the opportunity to explore the castle looking for evidence against my father," Anora replied defensively.

"Where was Loghain? Was he not on Progress with you?" Alistair asked.

Anora shook her head. "No, Amanda and my Father were still setting up Vigil's Keep and dealing with the rebuilding of the Wardens. Which is why this was the perfect opportunity for me to explore my childhood home. Hidden in my father's study I found blueprints for a secret addition to the castle. It took a little help from Eamon and Teagan, but we discovered the hidden room and a chest that was enchanted and impossible to open. I had the chest brought back to Denerim and had the enchantments removed. That is when I discovered the contract. I didn't tell anyone about the contract except my Father, and I warned him not to interfere with my rule or I would expose him."

"But why? Why didn't you expose him once you realized he had Maric killed?"

"I had just watched him manipulate Amanda into marrying him. Amanda, who is the strongest woman, a woman who detested him, a woman who was obviously still mourning your death, and he somehow forced her to marry him. I didn't know what he had done to convince her to marry him, but it frightened me. It was then that I knew he would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. As I said in the Landsmeet, I feared that if I brought the information forward and managed to persuade the nobles that he hadn't signed the contract that I would lose any control I had over him," Anora said, sounding very defeated. She looked directly into Alistair's eyes. "I am so sorry, Alistair. I had no idea that you were alive."

Alistair believed her, and he felt good about the decision to allow her to keep her lands, but he was glad that she had been stripped of her title and her power effectively eliminated. If she still had those things she could still be a threat to the crown. They would never be friends, but at least things would be amicable between them.

The execution went smoothly, as far as executions go. Loghain made no apologies and only said good-bye to Anora. Alistair would be lying if he said that he didn't take some satisfaction in the man's death. Over the course of ten years this man had destroyed too many lives, and justice was finally being carried out. He only wished it was his sword by his hand that delivered the death blow, but he understood that as King he could not take Loghain's life and he would have to resign himself to being satisfied with the fact that the man was dead.

Even though Loghain was Amanda's husband in name only she still had to have a proper burial service for him. She refused to honor him with a pyre, much to Anora's dismay . Alistair had wanted to attend with her, but she insisted that it wouldn't be appropriate. To all accounts it was a quiet graveside service attended by Amanda, Fergus, who was there to offer his sister support, Anora and Bann Ceorlic. After the execution and burial, Anora quickly gathered her belongs and exited the city for Gwaren.

That was four days ago, and the rush of activity continued as all the preparations for the coronation were hastily organized. The coronation day finally arrived. Earlier in the day, Alistair had dressed in the King's golden armor for the ceremonial procession from the city gates to the palace. Despite the bitter cold the Denerim streets were lined with what appeared to be all the citizens of Denerim to greet their new King. The parade moved slowly through the streets as Alistair stopped to greet and shake hands with his people. Amanda walked on his left dressed in the Warden Commander's armor. Due to the armor's weight Amanda only wore it for public appearances or for ceremonies.

In between the two of them Ellie walked hand in hand with both of her parents. It had not been officially announced that Ellie was Alistair's child and the next heir to the throne. Both Eamon and Fergus felt that such an announcement should wait until the country became comfortable with all the recent changes that had occurred. However, it was obvious to anyone with eyes that Ellie was Alistair and Amanda's child. On Alistair's right walked Leliana and Zevran . The bard and the assassin had been very hesitant when Alistair made the request, but Alistair had insisted. If it hadn't been for the aid of those two, he would not be there right now.

They had finally made it to the Landsmeet chamber, where all of Ferelden's nobility waited for them. Alistair made his way into the chamber and up to the top dais, where the Grand Cleric awaited him. Alistair mounted the stairs alone and knelt before the Grand Cleric. She placed a hand on his head and bestowed the blessings of the Maker on Ferelden's new King. Then she placed the crown on his head, and it was done. Alistair stood, bowed his head to the Cleric and turned to face the nobles. A chorus of cheers and applause went up, and Alistair bowed to those gathered in the room.

Alistair raised his hands for silence. "It has taken us eight years to reach this point, but we are finally here. During the past years much has been done to rebuild Ferelden, but there is still much to do in order for this country to continue to grow and prosper. I look forward to working with each of you as we strengthen this land so that its people can flourish and thrive."

Another resounding cheer erupted from the crowd. Alistair let the applause go on for a few minutes, then he held up a hand. Once the crowd quieted, he continued. "Now, I do believe that we are long overdue for a celebration. Please join me in the Grand Hall for the Coronation Gala."

As the nobles made their way into the celebration, Alistair was ushered into his royal chamber so that he could change into something more comfortable . He wore a velvet burgundy and gold brocaded doublet with tight burgundy trousers and deep brown boots that came up to his knees.

Leliana smiled as he exited his bedroom chamber. "Perfect," she purred.

Alistair smiled sheepishly as he looked down at his attire. "You like it?"

"I am a genius when it comes to fashion, and you, my King look very regal," Leliana replied.

As Alistair surveyed the room full of nobles who were vying for his attention, there was only one noble he wanted to see, but he couldn't find her in the crowd. The band began to play, and all of the noblemen's daughters began to inch closer to him. Oh no, he wasn't going to let these girls entertain the thought that they even had a chance. He leaned over and whispered in Leliana's ear, "Have you seen Mandi?"

"I believe she went to change out of her armor; she should be back soon." As if Leliana had summoned her, the crowd slowly parted as Amanda made her way towards him. The sight of her took his breath away. She wore a matching deep burgundy velvet dress trimmed in gold embroidering. The sleeveless corset clung tightly to her frame and emphasized the tops of her creamy breasts and her tiny waist. The sleeves were detached and the burgundy material clung from her bicep to her elbow and then flowed down to her wrist. The skirt was full and billowed around her legs. Her dark curls elegantly framed her beautiful face. By the Maker, she was the most exquisite woman he had ever laid eyes on.

She approached Alistair and smiled as she surveyed what he was wearing. She curtsied low. "Your Majesty, you look very debonair this evening," she cooed softly.

Alistair smiled as he bowed to her. He then took her hand and brought it to his lips. "My Lady, you look breathtaking this evening. It would appear that our lovely bard thought it would be a good idea for us to match."

Just then Ellie appeared from behind Amanda and smiled. "I think Leliana wants us to look like a family." Ellie was wearing a more modest version of Amanda's dress.

Alistair laughed. "Yes, I do believe you are right. I need to remind her to be a little more subtle next time." He bowed to Ellie. "My Lady, would you care to dance?"

Ellie giggled with delight and nodded. Alistair led her out onto the dance floor and whispered in her ear. Ellie giggled again as she took Alistair's hand and then stepped onto the tops of his feet. Alistair then began to twirl and spin his daughter around the dance floor, much to her delight. The few times that he passed by Amanda, he could see the joy on her face as she watched the two of them dance. Ellie had only been a part of his life for a little over a week, but she had already laid claim to his heart and he would be forever changed because of her. She was now a part of him that he could never let go.

The song ended, and Alistair led Ellie over to Amanda. "Now, it's time for Mommy and Daddy to dance."

Amanda started to protest, but Leliana quickly jumped in. "I will watch her. I do believe Fergus' children are here. I am sure she will enjoy spending time with her cousins."

Alistair tilted his head toward the dance floor and extended his arm. "My Lady."

"Well, good Ser, I would love to." Amanda slid her arm through Alistair's, and he led her to the floor. Once there, he pulled her tightly into his arms and began to guide her around the floor. "You look absolutely amazing. I am thinking of all the interesting ways I can get you out of that dress. Do you think anyone would notice if disappeared with you for a while?" he whispered into her ear.

Amanda laughed. "Yes, I do believe that you would be missed at your own coronation reception, your Majesty."

Alistair brought his hand up and ran his fingers down her cheek to her neck and slid his fingers back to the nape of her neck. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

Amanda smiled. "Yes, I think you have mentioned it a couple of times today."

"Well, it has been at least a couple of hours, so let me tell you again. I am so in love with you, Amanda. You're my world. There was a time I believed that I would never hold you again, at least in this life." Alistair then leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, and the world just melted away as he devoured the sweet taste of her mouth.

Amanda was the one to gently pull away. "I think you just broke the hearts of every young girl in here."

"Better they know now that I have already picked my Queen. I picked her ten years ago."

This time it was Amanda who leaned in and passionately claimed his lips with hers. When she pulled away again she whispered, "I love you with all of my heart, Alistair Theirin."

Alistair laughed as he pulled her to his chest and twirled her around the floor. "Good to know," he murmured in her ear.

The rest of the evening was spent talking with nobles and dancing with their wives and daughters, but his eyes never lost track of where she was. He couldn't wait to be alone with her. Oh, the delicious things he had planned for her, but he couldn't dwell on those things too long or these incredibly tight pants would reveal his thoughts and desires. The last thing he wanted was some noblewoman to get the idea that she was the cause for his desires.

As the night became the early morning, Amanda insisted that it was way past Ellie's bed time and disappeared briefly to go tuck her in. When she returned, he managed to dance with her a few more times before he was pulled away from her to be passed around from one noble to the next like some prized mabari.

Eventually the last guest left, and he and Amanda made their way back to the royal chambers. Amanda and Ellie were given rooms directly across from his, but most nights since the Landsmeet Amanda slept in his room. They paused outside her doors where two Wardens kept guard.

"I will be right in. I want to check on Ellie," Amanda said.

"How about you go pour us a glass of wine and let me check on Ellie," Alistair suggested.

She smiled at him and nodded. Alistair quietly eased into Ellie's room and made his way over to her bed. He brushed her hair out of her face and leaned over to kiss her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled at him. "Hi, Daddy," she whispered.

"Hi, yourself Kitten," Alistair whispered back.

"It's snowing out," Ellie said.

"Yes, I know; it started a couple of hours ago," Alistair said.

"Will you stay with me till I fall back as sleep?" Ellie asked.

"I would love to," Alistair said as he crawled into bed beside her and pulled her to his chest. His hand gently rubbed her back as he quietly sang her to sleep.

"_You're the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold__;__ you're daddy's little girl to have and hold__.__  
__A precious gem is what you are__;__ you're mommy's bright and shining star__._

_You're sugar__,__ you're spice, you're everything nice__,__ and you're da__ddy's little girl__.__"_

By the time he was done singing Ellie was sound asleep. He looked up and saw Amanda watching them. He kissed his daughter's forehead and then slipped out of bed. As he approached her, he noticed a tiny tear in her eye. "Are you okay, Love?" he asked in a low voice.

She nodded. "I always knew you would be a great father, but seeing you with her – it's so amazing to watch."

Alistair opened the door to his rooms for her. The second they were inside his room, she leaned up and hungrily brushed her lips along his jaw to his cheek until her lips found his. Alistair spun her around and pressed her back against the wall. As she laced her arms around his neck, her eyes widened with excitement and then darkened with desire. Alistair's mouth moved over hers, his lips fervently kissing hers. He was amazed once again at how soft her lips were, how pliable they were under his. Ravenously, she pressed her lips harder against his and gently flicked her tongue across his lower lip, asking silently for entrance, which he gladly granted. She eagerly explored his mouth and moaned at the sensation of their tongues dancing together. She tasted so sweet and yet exotic, and as his tongue devoured the delicious taste of her he realized that he was addicted to her mouth.

He could feel the heat that radiated between them even through their clothes. His hands quickly wrapped around her back and hastily unlaced the bodice of her dress. He pushed it down past her waist and then removed the smallclothes that bound her breasts. Amanda's hands impatiently pulled at the buttons of his doublet, popping several of them off.

Alistair laughed. "Eager, my Love?"

She answered him by pressing her soft lips to his chest. She flicked her tongue across his already hard nipple before she took it into her mouth and gently bit down. The sensation caused a shiver to run though him and a moan escaped his lips. The feel of her lips on his skin was blissful torture, and he didn't want it to end. He felt himself growing painfully hard as his body begged to be inside her, begged him to make her his completely, but he pushed his need down as he slid in between her legs. His hands gripped her hips as he pressed her into him. Her breasts flattened against his bare chest, and he could feel her hard nipples press into him.

Alistair ran his hand up her side and cupped her breast. He began to roughly massage the soft flesh and pinch at the nipple. She moaned his name against his throat, causing a strong ripple of desire to course through him. He pressed his hardness against her again as he tried to relieve some of the increased pressure that was growing in his groin. Alistair lowered his head as he moved his lips over her throat and ran his tongue over the already taut nipple before he pulled away.

Amanda only wore her panties, and Alistair kissed his way down her toned stomach and then dropped to his knees in front of her. He pressed his hands on the inside of her thigh as his thumb playfully pulled at the edges of her panties. His fingers teasingly grazed the outside of her undergarment, causing her knees to shake.

"You look delicious, smell delicious…" Alistair smiled to himself as his mouth joined in the torment; his fingertips eased the panties down while his tongue drank her in. "And you taste delicious," he moaned against her thigh.

His finger tortuously circled around her glistening entrance while his tongue playfully grazed the nub that was begging for his attention. "P-please, Alistair," she moaned.

"Please what?" he asked impishly.

"Please stop. I n-need," she stuttered as he drew her sweet center into his mouth. She moaned loudly as he buried his fingers inside her velvety heat, causing her hips to press forward. Amanda's fingers slid into his hair while she grasped onto him for support as her legs trembled and threatened to no longer hold her.

"Oh Maker," Amanda murmured. His tongue and fingers unhurriedly investigated her most intimate parts as they swirled, flicked and sucked with agonizing slowness until he watched her face change as her pleasure mounted. His tongue and fingers picked up speed as he felt her contract around him and cry out as the pleasure washed over her, leaving her gasping and panting for breath.

He kissed his way back up her torso until his lips claimed hers again. He felt her slim fingers push his smallclothes off, and then her cool, slender fingers wrapped around his thick, steely length, causing a growl to rip from his throat as he pushed into her caress. As she continued to stroke and caress him, she kissed his neck and his chest and brushed feather kisses down his abs as she slid down the wall. Alistair braced his hands against the wall as her soft lips caressed his hips, his thighs and then the tip of his member before she took him in her warm, silky mouth. His nails raked against the walls as her gentle suction and licks caused unspeakable desire to rip through him. The warm heat that surrounded him felt so incredible.

"Sweet Andraste," he moaned as he watched her head glide back and forth. His forehead fell against the wall as the warm pleasure drowned him, and he dug his feet into the floor, hoping to ground himself. Every fiber of his being was enraptured as she made love to him with her mouth.

"By the Maker, y-you're trying to kill me," he gasped.

Her reply was to begin to stroke the base of him with her hand while her tongue licked and sucked at the sensitive tip. Her name fell from his lips in a chorus of prayers to the Maker. He knew he wouldn't last much longer, so he grasped her wrist and pulled her to him. He needed to be in her, to feel her wrapped tightly around him. In one swift movement, he grasped her bottom and lifted her up. Her hand slid between them as she guided him into her. He moaned as her sweet warmth enfolded him. He pressed her firmly against the wall as she wrapped her legs around his waist to draw him in deeper.

He kissed and sucked his way down her neck to her shoulders and her breasts, and he took her nipple in his mouth and sucked hard. She pushed her hips forward and rocked against him as she cried out his name. He moved to the other breast and licked and sucked as she writhed against him, and he knew she was close. With one hand firmly under her bottom, he slid his hand between their bodies and caressed her swollen sweet spot. He felt her body tense, and he watched with pleasure as she arched her back when the waves of pleasure broke hard, causing her body to shudder. Her muscles convulsed around him, sending him over the edge as sheer bliss over took every inch of his body. When his senses returned, his mouth sought out hers and their tongues danced and intertwined . The smell, the taste, and the feel of her intoxicated him. He wanted to lose himself in her forever.

Before the sun had even come up, Alistair slipped out of bed to make sure that everything was in place. When he came back into the room he found Amanda standing on the snow covered balcony. He slipped up behind her, slid his arms around her and kissed the side of her neck.

"Oh Alistair," she whispered as she stared down into the royal garden. Overnight, he had an ice carver create an ice sculpture in the shape of a diamond ring and had it brought into the center of the garden. Just below the ice carving the words '_Will you be my Queen?' _were formed from snow dyed with blue food coloring, so that it stood out against the white fluffy background.

Amanda spun around, and Alistair dropped to one knee. "Amanda, now that I have you back, I don't want to experience one day without you in my life. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I want the rest of my life to start as soon as possible. My Love, will you be my wife?"

Amanda dropped to her knees in front of him and grinned. "I thought you would never ask. Of course I will be your wife."

Alistair drew her into his arms and gently kissed the woman that would soon be his wife and his Queen.

*Author's note – The memory sequence came from a challenge on the FanFic:Dragon Age Ridiculously Awesome Authors forum asked us to incorporate the word Rod of Iron or Iron Rod into a story. Bonus points if you could use the word crack. The flashback was my attempt. I hope I managed to pull it off.

*There has been interest in where I get my inspiration for the different dresses my heroine's wear. To see the inspiration for Amanda's dress google - make-your-red-medieval-wedding-gowns-a-d - the second picture in the very first link was the inspiration. I will go back to previous chapters and do the same.

*Thanks once again to my awesome beta brownc0at83. She makes me look good and I appreciate it.


	18. Chapter 18 Hey Child

**Chapter 17**

"Hey child - wash away your tears, hang on till tomorrow comes, cos it will soon be here  
Hey child - don't give up today, gotta be some good times baby, not so far away  
Child - love don't come easily, and child - don't be afraid to feel  
Cos the times gonna come, when you're gonna go, and my only advice is  
To live life your own way, I'm here for you, till my dying day"

_Hey Child by East 17_

Alistair and Amanda sat by the fire enjoying their breakfast and tea. Amanda kept looking at the ring on her finger and Alistair couldn't help but smile, "It's real, Love and it isn't going anywhere."

"I know. It just seems so surreal. I can't believe it's finally happening. I am so incredibly happy, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop," Amanda replied.

Alistair took her hand, pulled her out of her chair and into his lap. He brushed the hair out of her eyes. "I know that it has taken a lot to get us to this point, but even if the proverbial shoe does drop we now have each other to get us through it."

Outside the bedchamber door there was a large commotion and loud voices being raised, Alistair slid Amanda of his lap and stood up, "What the hell?"

Alistair felt the veil slip open and he reached for his sword just as the door to his chamber flew open.

"Oh bloody hell, if you don't want me to turn into frogs you will tell Commander Cousland that I need to see her immediately," Anders growled.

Amanda headed for the doors, "Let him pass," she commanded.

The royal guard looked at Alistair, he nodded and they released the mage. "Andraste's arse on a cracker, Commander, if you are going to be spending a lot of time in his chamber there needs to be a pass word that I can use to see you if there is an emergency."

"I'm sorry about that, Anders. I had given the guard specific instructions not to disturb me this morning," Alistair interjected and grinned at Amanda.

Anders eyed the two of them suspiciously, "I have a feeling I missed something. What's going on?"

"Anders, you didn't just rudely burst into the King's private chambers to get an update on my love life. What happened?" Amanda questioned.

"Early this morning there was another attack on the North Road about fifteen miles outside the city." Anders raised an eye brow as he once again eyed them suspiciously and smiled, "Not wanting to disrupt any of your nocturnal endeavors, Cullen, Nate, Carissa and I went out to investigate. Thank the Maker we had Cullen with us because he was able to disarm Morrigan and…"

"Morrigan! She is responsible for these attacks?" Alistair bellowed.

"She is not the one facilitating the attacks, but she is part of the cause for them. Alistair, I will explain everything in a moment, but please give Anders a moment to finish his report," Amanda said calmly.

"Because Cullen was there we were able to capture Morrigan and her son," Anders said.

Alistair watched Amanda as a faint smile flickered across her face, "And where are they now?"

"At the Compound," Anders replied.

"Well, it looks like that proverbial shoe just fell. And Ellie?" she asked.

"She is aware that he is here and wants to go see him," Anders responded.

Amanda shook her head, "No, I want to see Morrigan and this child for myself before she can meet him. She can come to the Compound with us, but I want her with Carissa while we talk to the two of them." Anders nodded. "Now, if you give me a little bit of time, I need to explain everything to Alistair. I will meet you and Ellie in the main hall in an hour."

Anders nodded again and headed out the door. Amanda went to the door and asked one of the guards to send a note to have two baths brought up to the Kings chambers.

"Yes, my Lady," the guard replied.

Amanda turned to Alistair who was smiling at her. "What?"

"Oh, nothing, it's just that you didn't waste any time sliding into the role of Queen," Alistair said.

Amanda's eye brows furrowed, "I-I didn't mean to overstep…"

Alistair was immediately at her side. He placed a finger on her lips to hush her and then he leaned in and kissed. "Love, you could never overstep your boundaries. Mi casa su casa."

Amanda smiled, "Well it's more like a castle not a home."

Alistair laughed, "Think of it as a very big home. Now tell me all about Morrigan and her son."

Amanda headed back to their seats and Alistair followed. "You mentioned that you were aware of the Dark Ritual. What do you know about it?" Amanda asked.

"Not much, just that it involved magic, Morrigan and Loghain sleeping together and it is the reason you are still alive," Alistair replied.

"Yes, at the time I was very displeased to discover that Loghain had gone behind my back."

"I think it's the only good thing Loghain has ever done. It saved both yours and Ellie's life," Alistair said.

"Of course now I am now glad about it; at the time not so much. Anyways, the night that Rioden told us why it takes a Grey Warden to kill the Archdemon, Morrigan visited me in my room and told me about this dark ritual that would save my life. Basically, Loghain would sleep with Morrigan. While they were together she would perform a magic ritual and a child would be conceived. The child would have the taint which would draw the spirit of the archdemon to it. The child would absorb the old god's essence, but not perish. The child would not be a demon. It would be what it was before the Taint corrupted it -an Old God. The Archdemon would be destroyed and no Grey Wardens would die in the process. I turned down her ritual so she went behind my back to Loghain who gladly accepted her offer. When I delivered the final blow the old god's essence sought out the taint in me and in Ellie because were the closest to it, but it only passed through me as it realized that the magical taint in Morrigan was stronger. However, it was in me long enough that part of its essence resides in Ellie. That is why she possesses special talents. One of the talents that she has is that Morrigan's son, Jamison and Ellie have shared visions. Because most of the old god's sprite resides in Jamison, he struggles with his true nature more than Ellie. As with Ellie, Jamison has the potential to do many great things or if cultivated he has the potential to do great evil."

"Do you believe that Morrigan is cultivating his less noble side?" Alistair asked.

"I know you don't like her, Love but I never considered Morrigan evil. She could be crude, insensitive and selfish, but not evil; however Flemth was her mother not the best person to instill a moral compass in a person. Jamison needs guidance and Ellie tries to provide that through their shared visions, but it's not enough."

"Ellie is only eight how can guide him?"

"Physically, Ellie is only eight, but she as the essence of an old god in her. She is wise beyond her years," Amanda relplied.

"So is that why you have been trying to capture them?" Alistair asked.

"Partly, did you read the reports that I gave you about the Architect and the Mother?" Alistair nodded so she continued. "Well, there is still fraction of darkspawn that sided with the Mother out there. The Architect and his minions have been trying to eradicate that fraction of darkspawn, but there are still many out there and they still are seeking to change an old god..."

"And they are hunting Jamison," Alistair stated.

"And Ellie," Amanda added.

"W-what? Why Ellie? You said she only has traces of the old god's essence?" Alistair mumbled in shock.

"It's enough that they can sense her. That is why she always has Wardens with her," Amanda said.

"But why does she always have a mage," Alistair asked.

"As, I said earlier, I don't believe that Morrigan is evil, but I do believe that she is misguided. Morrigan seeks out Ellie because of the connection that is shared between Ellie and Jamison. If united, together they would become very powerful."

"How do you know that?" Alistair asked.

"Through Ellie."

"Powerful, how?"

"Together they would have the power to do extraordinary things, for good or evil," Amanda stated matter-of-factly.

"And what is it you are trying to accomplish exactly?" Alistair asked.

"I told you that depending on how that child is raised will determine his destiny. I want the Wardens to raise him and with Ellie's help together they can hone their talents," Amanda replied.

"There is no way in bloody hell that Morrigan will allow you to take him," Alistair said.

"I wasn't going to ask," Amanda said dryly.

Alistair raised an eye brow. "Amanda, I can't imagine you denying a mother the right to raise her child."

"I won't deny her that. I will give her the option to stay with Jamison at the Denerim Compound, but he can't allowed to be raised without the proper guidance. He is powerful, even more than Ellie and someone with that much potential for good or evil needs proper supervision."

"And what does Ellie say about this?"

Amanda stood up and for the first time ever he saw fear flicker in her eyes. "Ellie had a vision were the two of them grow up to do miraculous things and she has also had a vision where she and I die trying to stop him from the destruction he could ultimately bring," Amanda replied sadly.

Alistair felt his heart begin to race as the panic set in. He would not lose her again and hell or high water he would not allow any harm to come Ellie.

There was a knock at the door and then four servants walked in carrying the tubs for their bath. Alistair stood, "I want to be there when you question Morrigan."

"Alistair, do you think that is wise? You don't actually have an open mind when it comes to her," Amanda countered.

"If this situation has the potential of killing the two people that are most important to me then I will be involved. I promise that I will do my best to reign in my distaste for her. Not to mention I am also a templar and can help if things get out of control."

Once the baths were drawn, Amanda asked the servants to bring her dragon scale armor up.

"Why are you dressing in your armor? Are you expecting trouble?" Alistair asked.

She grinned. "I always expect trouble. That is why I'm alive, but the main reason is because I am not confronting Morrigan and her son as the future Queen of Ferelden, I am going to make it very obvious that I am a Grey Warden and if they leave me no choice I will destroy them."

Alistair laughed and pulled her into his arms, "Somehow, I doubt Morrigan could have forgotten that, Love. She fought by your side in almost every battle, but maybe a reminder that you are a force to be reckoned with might put a healthy dose of fear into her and convince her to corporate." He kissed her forehead and then the two of them got ready to meet Anders and Ellie.

An hour later the four of them walked into the Amanda's office at the Compound, "Anders, I want you, Cullen and Nate to bring Morrigan and Jamison to the library. I want Carissa, Sigrun and Hadley to stay with Ellie."

"Hadley, as in Knight Commander Greagoir's second in command?" Alistair asked. Amanda nodded.

Alistair laughed, "You conscripted his second in command right out from under him! Oooo, I would have loved to have seen his face when you did that."

"It was priceless," Anders interjected. "Greagoir was raising such a fuse about conscripting Hadley that Jinx threatened to conscript the Knight Commander if he didn't shut the hell up and release him. I didn't know a man's face could turn that shade of deep red."

"You threatened to conscript Greagoir, that's awesome."

"I wasn't serious about that part. I wouldn't want that close minded old man as a part of the Wardens. But the look on his face brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it. Now when I visit the Circle he is always conveniently unavailable which works for me. It was worked out well for the Wardens because Hadley is an excellent warrior," Amanda replied.

So how many have you recruited from the Chantry?" Alistair asked.

"I have six mages and three templars, but if Morrigan is going to take up permanent residence here I believe I am going to need a few more," Amanda replied.

Anders went to give the Wardens their assignments and a few minutes later he knocked on the door and then stuck his head in, "They are waiting in the library for you."

Amanda stood up and went to her daughter and kneeled down in front of her, "Anything I should know?"

"He loves you and wants to please you," Ellie said.

Amanda was taken aback by this information. "How can he love me? He doesn't even know me."

"Because I love you; Jamie feels what I feel and knows what I know. He sees the good in you, he sees your heart, he wants to make you proud of him," Ellie said.

"And what does he feel for Morrigan?" Alistair asked.

"He loves her because she is his mother, but he questions some of her motivations. He was not happy when she decided to try to take me from my Mom and he stopped her. He is more powerful then she is and now she is starting to become frightened of him. I believe that is the real reason she allowed herself to be caught," Ellie said.

Amanda looked up at Alistair and smiled, "Wiser beyond her years."

"Yep, I am seeing that," Alistair mused.

Amanda and Alistair kissed their daughter and then they headed out the door to confront the mother and child that could ultimately destroy everything that Alistair held dear.


	19. Chapter 19 Now and Forever

**I am sorry for the delay in this chapter. I had some writing issues and I want to thank Jinx1983 for being a sounding board and helping me flush out the details of this chapter. I also want to thank you for being a great friend. **

**Chapter 19**

"We had a moment, just one moment,

That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime, we are the lucky ones,

Some people never get to do all we got to do  
Now and forever, I will always think of you

Didn't we come together, didn't we live together, didn't we cry together  
Didn't we play together, didn't we laugh together, and together we lit up the world

I miss the tears, I miss the laughter, I miss the day we met and all that followed after  
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you, the way we used to do  
Now and forever, I will always think of you"

_Now and Forever by Carole King_

Alistair and Amanda paused outside the library door. Alistair watched as Amanda closed her eyes and take in a deep breath to compose herself. He squeezed her hand reassuringly as she reached for the knob, opened the door and entered the room.

Morrigan and Jamison sat in two chairs in the center of the room with Anders and Cullen standing behind them. Alistair watched as Amanda reigned in her emotions so that her face was completely unreadable. As she walked toward them Jamison leaped out of his chair and dashed across the room toward Amanda. There was a huge smile on his face as his arms wrapped around Amanda's waist. Alistair looked into Amanda's shocked expression as she glanced down at the little boy who was gripping her tightly. Her hands faltered for a moment, than she gently pushed him away and knelt down in front of him.

"Jamison…"

"You can call me Jamie. That's what Ellie calls me," Jamie interrupted in a sweet soft voice.

Amanda smiled at him, "Okay Jamie, I wasn't expecting that type of reaction from you when I came in here. You have thrown me a little off guard."

"I'm sorry, Amanda. Because of Ellie, I feel like I've known you all of my life and I do love you because of her. However, I realize that you are meeting me for the first time and don't have those feelings for me yet, but you will. You and Alistair will love me as your own one day," Jamie declared a matter-of-factly. The boy had the voice and face of a young innocent child, but the language and mannerisms of someone…something much, much older.

Alistair had to stifle a snort at the thought of loving Morrigan's child. He could never love anything or anyone that came from that vile witch.

Jamie turned directly to Alistair, "But you will. You have a great capacity for love and it will shock even you how deeply you can love." Alistair stood there shocked and stared at the boy disbelievingly.

From the center of the room Morrigan grunted, "I highly doubt that. That man proved what he knew about love when he walked away from Jinx and left her die on top of that tower."

Amanda stood up, gently squeezed Jamie's shoulders and then marched over to Morrigan. "And is that why you went behind my back and slept with Loghain, because you loved me?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact it was. You were hell bent on killing yourself and after all that you had done for me I couldn't let you commit suicide without trying to save your life."

"Cut the bullshit, Morrigan! You did it for you so that you could have a powerful child with the soul of an old god. That is why Flemeth sent you with us in the first place and if we hadn't killed Flemeth not only would you be on the run from the darkspawn, but you would be on the run from her too. That is one of the reasons you wanted me to kill her in the first place, so that you could have this child all to yourself," Amanda declared.

"Yes, I did want this powerful child, Amanda, but I also wanted to save your life. I wanted you to live. I loved you like a sister and I didn't want you to toss your life away over a man that had thrown you away," Morrigan hissed as she glared at Alistair before she continued. "You should be thanking me for saving Ellie's life too. Without the ritual your daughter would have died with you."

"Without the ritual, Loghain would have delivered the final blow, he would have died the death he was meant to die and Alistair would never have been sent to Château de Désespoir," Amanda retorted.

"We had no way of knowing that is how it would have turned out. When I made that proposition you were out of your mind with grief over losing that sad excuse for a man," Morrigan jeered as she nodded her head towards Alistair before she continued. "And you were determined not to live in this world without him. I had to do something to save you even if you weren't willing to save yourself," Morrigan sneered as she glared at Alistair letting the reality of her words sink in.

Alistair felt his stomach clinch as he thought about Amanda wanting to die, wanting to make the killing blow because of him and he felt a wave of pain ripple over him. He had come so close to losing her and it truly frightened him that she had been so willing to fulfill her duty and end this life.

"Alistair was right about you all along Morrigan, I was the fool for ever trusting in you, but you have deceived me for the last time," Amanda spat at her.

"You know, Amanda, if it wasn't Loghain it would have been Alistair?" Morrigan questioned.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Amanda demanded.

"I would have made the same offer to Alistair as I did Loghain and Alistair would have been Jamison's father instead," Morrigan replied coolly.

"Never! I would have never slept with you," Alistair declared.

"Oh, so you would have allowed the love of your life to sacrifice herself to save your sorry arse," Morrigan queried.

Before Alistair could even reply Jamie yelled, "That's enough. You are fighting over what could have been. Let me show you what did happen." Then he grasped both Alistair and Amanda's hands.

_The room began to fade and then they were standing in a room in Arl Eamon's castle. Morrigan stood before Loghain as she explained the loop hole and how he could save both his and Amanda's life. _

_Loghain paced the room and then he stopped and stared at the witch for a long moment before he spoke. "So let me get this straight, I sleep with you, you conceive a child which will save both mine and Amanda's lives and then you leave town never to be seen or heard from again. I'm not seeing a downside to this offer, however I have a condition of my own."_

"_Oh do you really think you're in a position to make stipulations?" Morrigan inquired. _

"_Do you think you're in a position not at least hear me out? I believe you need my aid as much as I need yours, but I also will require your assistance a little longer before you head out of town. If you refuse then I guess we are done with conversation," Loghain countered. _

_Morrigan scowled at him for a long moment, "What type of support do you need?"_

"_The secretive kind," Loghain stated. "You are on a need to know basis, but after the final battle I will seek you out to fulfill this final obligation and then you will be free to go. If you leave before this requirement is performed I will send every templar in Ferelden after you. Is that clear?" Loghain asked as he stepped into her and roughly pulled her into his arms. _

_She glared at him as she hissed, "Very clear."_

_He mischievously grinned at her, "Good." He then roughly claimed her lips with his. _

_The scene faded to the prison room that Alistair had been after the final battle. Both Alistair and Amanda stared a man sitting on a wooden bench with his hands and feet in shackles and a hood over his face. Alistair knew this was himself as he waited to be transported from the castle to the ship that would take him to Château de Désespoir. The door opened and Loghain stepped in followed by Morrigan. Alistair's heart began to race. No, no, no! He knew she didn't like him, but he couldn't believe that she would have helped Loghain betray Amanda in such a manner. _

_Loghain turned to her, "I want you to cast a concealment spell over this prisoner so that we can remove him from the Palace without raising suspicion. I want you to follow us to the ship that this prisoner will be departing on this evening and cast a confusion spell over anyone that begins to question us. Once you have done this you are free to go."_

_Morrigan looked at the prisoner and then at Loghain and nodded as she began to cast the spells…_

The memory immediately faded as Alistar pulled out of Jamie's grip and drew his swords. He glared at Morrigan. "You cost me five years of my life," he growled as charged at Morrigan.

Morrigan instantly cast a stonefist spell knocking Alistair on his back_. _This prompted an immediate response from Cullen who cast Holy Smite, knocking Morrigan to the ground. Amanda started toward Morrigan, but before she could even take a step Jamie stepped directly in front of her, pushed his hands out sending a waves of pulsing energy through the room knocking everyone to the floor and pinning them to ground unable to move.

The longer the child held everyone in the restraints of the magical energy field the heavier the pressure grew on their bodies. Alistair tried to push against it but it was a futile effort and the pressure became painful as waves of energy pressed harder against him. He heard Amanda cry out in agony, he looked over at her; her nose and ears had begun to bleed. He tried to scream, but no noise came from his throat. The blood was rapidly pouring out of her when he felt his blood begin to ooze from his own nose.

The room started to spin when the door flew open, Ellie rushed into the room, both of her hands extended toward Jamie when a flash of light burst forth hitting the boy square in the chest. Jamie staggered slightly, but remained on his feet. He shook his head, he immediately lowered his hands and the energy field dissipated.

Alistair looked over at Amanda, who had a pool of blood surrounding her head and had lost consciousness. Alistair was too weak to stand, but he crawled over to her crying out her name. He pulled her to his chest as he brushed her hair away from her blood stained face. Her head lulled to one side. No, no, no, this can't be happening. He hadn't come this far to lose her. "Please, please, Mandi, don't leave me. You can't leave me, Love. I need you. I need you desperately," he cried into her hair as he clung to her.

There was a bright light that shot out from the center of the room and encircle the two of them. Alistair felt a hot sensation flow through both of them as he felt the pain in his body begin to disappear. He looked up and saw Jamie and Ellie as they stood in the center of the room they held each other hands and extended their other hand toward the room. The warm bright light encompassed the entire room and was restoring and healing everyone within it. The light began to dissolve and Alistair felt his strength return, hell this was the strongest he had ever felt.

He looked down at Amanda, but she looked the same - nothing had changed. In the distance he heard someone screaming NO over and over again. He didn't realize it was him until Anders touched his shoulder and he shrugged away from him. Alistair clung to her, rocking her back and forth as his anguished wails filled the room. Anders, Cullen and even Morrigan looked at the grieving man with great sympathy as they moved toward him wanting to console him.

Still holding hands, Ellie and Jamie pushed pass the onlookers and stood over the couple. Ellie raised her hand toward her mother for a moment and then grasped her father's arm and shook him.

Alistair looked up at his daughter disoriented and shocked, "Oh Ellie, I'm so sorry…"

"Daddy, she isn't gone yet, but she doesn't have much time. Lay her down and move aside," Ellie commanded.

Without a moment's hesitation, Alistair did as instructed and both of the young children extended their hands toward Amanda. This time the light that burst forth from their hands was so blinding that Alistair couldn't even look at directly at Amanda or the children. A hot burst of air rushed through the room blowing everything and everyone in the room and then as quickly as it had begun it dissipated. Alistair felt Amanda stir against his leg, he looked down just as he saw her eyes flutter open. She looked up at him and gave her a wary smile. He scooped her up into his arms and tightly embraced her.

"Oh Maker, Amanda, I thought for sure I had lost you," Alistair breathed into her hair as he began to feather kisses down her cheek until he found her sweet lips. Alistair drank in her sweet taste as relief washed over him. He pulled away and brushed a hair from her face.

Amanda smiled up at him as gently eased herself up into a sitting position. Anders reached out to her and she grasped his hand as he helped her. Alistair quickly got to his feet and wrapped his arm around her waist for support.

Ellie looked at her mother, "You won't need Daddy to hold you up. You are now more agile and stronger then you have ever been."

Amanda kneeled down in front of Ellie, "You healed me?"

"It wasn't just me. In order to heal everyone in the room and to heal you from your extensive injuries it required Jamie and I to combine our powers," Ellie explained.

Jamie sheepishly stepped forward, "I'm sorry Amanda. I never meant to hurt you or anyone else in the room. I had just meant to knock everyone down before things got out of hand and I lost control of my own powers."

"This is why I should have been in the room. My powers can neutralize his powers and they can also amplify his as we did when we healed everyone," Ellie said in almost a reprimanding tone.

"Why did Amanda's injuries seem more sever?" Anders asked.

"Because she was closest to Jamie when he initially released the energy; her body absorbed most of that wave and that is also why it was so difficult to heal her," Ellie explained. It was very strange having an adult conversation with a child and Alistair shifted uncomfortable.

"How did you know that we were in trouble?" Amanda asked.

"I can sense Jamie's emotions. He went from feeling in control to fear and I knew that he had lost control of his powers," Ellie explained.

Jamie turned to Amanda and Alistair, "I am sorry for losing control, but I was trying to show all of the facts before you made your decision about Morrigan and I. Alistair, you pulled out of my grasp before I could finish showing you everything I needed to show you. You made an assumption…a wrong assumption. Please let me finish showing you what I wanted you to see," Jamie asked.

Amanda looked at Alistair and he gave a slight head nod. They both turned to Jamie and took his hand.

_Once again the room faded and they stood on the Denerim Docks as a group of soldiers lead the hooded Alistair up the gang plank. Morrigan was following close behind as she cast numerous concealment spells. The scene changed and they were standing in the ship captain's office. Morrigan was alone with the captain. She had cast a coercion spell and the captain had agreed to bring a mage on board to make sure the mage stayed with the prisoner at all times. When they reached their final destination the captain was to convince the man's captures that mage was a part of the deal with Loghain. The captain agreed. _

_The scene changed again and in a dark alley near the docks Morrigan entered passage. A man stepped out of the shadows and Alistair immediately recognized the man as Bryland, the mage that had healed him after every one of his beatings at Château de Désespoir and whom had aided in his escape. _

"_Your passage has been cleared. The Captain will not question your presence and he will inform his man to leave you alone. If that prisoner is who I think it is, I want you to send word anonymously to a tavern called the Spoiled Princess located at the Lake Calenhad Docks. I will make arrangements with the bar keep there and will check in when I can," Morrigan whispered. She handed the mage a bag of coins, "This should keep you and your family fat and happy for some time."_

"_Are you sure that prisoner is the King of Ferelden?" Bryland asked._

"_No, I'm not sure. I never saw the man's face. He is built like Alistair and the story that Loghain is spreading around about the King's disappearance is highly questionable. That is why I am paying you to take care of the prisoner and to let me know once you can positively identify him. Do we still have a deal?"_

"_Yes, we do," Bryland replied. _

"_You will never breathe a word of this to anyone. Is that clear?"_

"_Yes, it is," Bryland replied again._

_The scene changed again and they stood in a small cabin. A warm fire was burning and a child about three was playing on a bearskin rug. Morrigan was seated at the table writing on a piece of parchment. _

_Commander Cousland,_

_You do not know who I am, but I have received word that you seek the whereabouts of a fellow warden by the name of Alistair. The man you seek is being held prisoner at Château de Désespoir. _

_Good luck rescuing him. _

_A concerned friend._

Jamie released their hands and they were once again standing back in the room. As the realization washed over both Alistair and Amanda the turned to toward Morrigan. Amanda let out a deep sigh and stepped toward her old companion. She lowered her head and shook it slightly before she looked into the eyes of her old friend. "Thank you! It was your letter that led me to look at Château de Désespoir for Alistair. How did you convince that mage to help you?"

"Bryland was one of the mage's that was sent from the Circle to fight in the final battle. I found him injured in the market and close to dying. After I healed him he begged me to let the Circle believe that he was died. I told him I would, but only if he helped me first and he agreed," Morrigan explained.

"That's exactly what I have been talking about. Bryland would rather spend five years in a prison then be sent back to the tower. What does that tell you?" Anders questioned.

Alistair stepped up behind Amanda. He humbly hung his head in shame for his actions earlier. "It was the man that you paid that saved my life several times and that helped me escape. Morrigan, I owe you a debt I can't repay, but one that I will try to for the rest of my life. I am truly sorry for misjudging you."

Morrigan didn't reply to Alistair, but gave him a slight nod. She looked at Amanda, "I won't apologize for saving your life. Yes, I started out with selfish motivations, but in the end I couldn't let you kill yourself after all that you had done for me and taught me."

"Morrigan, you have no reason to apologize to me. I am the one that owes you an apology. I doubted you and our friendship when in reality you saved the man I loved even though I know you personally dislike him. I can't begin to make this up to you, but I beg you to give me a chance to try," Amanda humbly replied.

"You had every reason to doubt my motives and intentions. I was never completely honest and upfront with you about why Flemeth sent me and I went against your wishes and performed the ritual with Loghain. You owe me nothing, Jinx, but I do need your help. As you saw here today, Jamison is a powerful being. He needs both protection and guidance and he needs to be with Ellie who seems to be able to control him. Will you help us?"

Amanda smiled at her old friend, "Of course, I would be honored to have you stay with the Wardens and we will gladly help."


	20. Chapter 20 Amanda

**I am so sorry for the very long delay of this final chapter. My only excuse is that DA2 came out and I was obsessed with all things Anders. Please forgive me and I hope it was worth the wait.**

**I will be continuing the tradition that was started by the lovely CCBug of honoring the 100th reviewer with a guest appearance in the story. I think it's a great way to honor a story's faithful readers/reviewers. The lucky 100th reviewer is Raven Jadewolfe. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy your Dragon Age doppelganger.**

**Chapter 20**

"I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize Amanda

I'm gonna tell you right away, I can't wait another day Amanda

I'm gonna say it like a man and make you understand Amanda, I love you

You and I, I know that we can't wait and I swear,

I swear it's not a lie girl, tomorrow may be too late

You, you and I girl, we can share the life together

It's now or never and tomorrow may be too late

And feelin', feelin' the way I do, I don't wanna wait my whole life through

To say I'm in love with you"

_Amanda by Boston_

"Maker's balls, Jinx, would you hold still," the Orlesian dressmaker demanded as she let out some of the material on the sides of the wedding dress then pinned it. "Now move your ass and get out of that dress or else you will be walking down the aisle naked."

"Well that would give the nobles something to talk about," Leliana said with a grin.

"You know, I don't care if you are the best damn dressmaker in Orlais, you have the mouth of a pirate wench, Raven…. Come to think of it, I believe that is what I like most about you," Amanda chuckled.

"Oh, and here I thought it was my ability to belch louder than Oghren," Raven retorted as she sat down and rapidly began sewing the inseam on the waistline of the dress.

"Well that runs a very close second," Amanda laughed. "Your swearing, burping and sewing abilities are Orlais loss and the Wardens gain. I would never wish anyone to come down with blight sickness, but your blood becoming tainted definitely worked out well for me."

There was a loud knock and then the door swung open, "By Andraste's sweet…" Anders stopped mid-sentence as he stared at Amanda in her white lacy small clothes.

Amanda grabbed a robe and quickly threw it on. "Maybe you missed this lesson in charm class, Anders, but it's polite to wait for someone to let you in after you knock on a closed door."

"Aaaah, sorry…Umhmm," Anders' face was beet red as he stared at the ground. "Alistair asked me to come and see what the hold-up was."

"You can look at me now, Anders. I'm dressed. You act as if you never saw a girl in her small clothes before."

"Well, I've never seen my Queen and Commander in her small clothes before. How in Andraste's twat am I supposed to take orders from you and not picture you practically naked?" Anders asked still staring at the ground.

"By picturing me poking your eyes out with a stick," Amanda chuckled.

"Yes…" Anders looked up at her and grinned. "I do believe that worked. I've been cured."

"You can tell _his Majesty,_if he hadn't fed his future wife all of that cheese, maybe the dress that I altered two days ago wouldn't have torn when she bent over just now," Raven retorted.

Anders eyes narrowed on Amanda, she shook her head slightly and Anders gave a nod of understanding. "Well, Ms. Magic Fingers, how long till you're done with the dress?"

Raven put the thread between her teeth and pulled. "Done!"

"Good, I will let him know," Anders replied as he headed out the door.

Amanda slid behind the changing screen and slipped back her dress. Leliana laced up the corset. She spun Amanda around and looked at her. "Maker, Amanda, you're breathtaking."

Amanda smiled as she looked down at the strapless white bodice that was covered with silver, crystal lace and rhinestones, the layers of satin and toile that flowed out from the drop waist bodice. Amanda smiled at her best friend who was wearing a strapless royal blue satin dress that had a tight bodice and then flowed elegantly to the ground. "You look pretty amazing yourself."

There was another knock at the door. Amanda called out to come in. The door burst open and Ellie ran in. "Mommy, you look beautiful."

Amanda bent down as her daughter ran into her arms and hugged her. Ellie was wearing a dress similar to Leliana's, which made her look every bit as much like the little princess that she was. "You look like an angel, my darling little girl," Amanda cooed.

"Wait till Daddy sees us!"

"I think it's a good thing Alistair is in good physical condition or the sight of the two of you might be more than he could take," Fergus said from the doorway.

Amanda smiled at her brother as he walked toward her. "I do believe that there is a tradition that the bride has to wear something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and I have it on good authority that you were struggling with the something old portion." Fergus said with a wink to Leliana. "I don't know if I ever mentioned that I found Mom's old jewelry chest hidden in the vault in the wine cellar, I thought you should have these for your wedding day."

Fergus pulled out of his pocket, the most breathtaking choker necklace, made up of diamonds and pearls, in a platinum setting. "Dad gave these to mom on their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. I know she would want you to have them and I thought it was the perfect way for our parents to be a part of this day."

Amanda threw her arms around her brother's neck. "Oh Fergus, this is perfect. Thank you."

Fergus kissed her cheek. "I'm glad you like it. Now turn around so I can put them on you."

Amanda turned around and lifted her long hair up while Fergus fastened the clasp. "Our parents would be so proud of you, Jinx… Now let's go get you hitched."

Amanda giggled and looked down at Ellie. "You ready, little one?" Ellie nodded. "Okay, let's go get married."

**xxXxx**

Alistair stood at the bottom of the dais nervously fidgeting with the sleeves of his doublet. It was a silver, black and white brocade that Raven said would match perfectly with Amanda's gown. Anders hit his arm, "Stop that. I promise she isn't standing you up."

Alistair chuckled, "After all that we had been though, I would certainly hope not."

The musicians began to play and the crowd turned to see his daughter holding Leliana's hand as the two of them started down the aisle. Leliana smiled at him and Ellie waved when they reached dais. The music stopped, everyone stood and turned toward the back of the room. The string quartet than began to play the wedding march, just as Amanda appeared at the back of the Chantry with Fergus. She took his breath away as she glided down the aisle toward him. Her stunning eyes sparkled and danced as she kept eye contact with, her gaze never left as she made her way toward him.

She was about to become his wife. They had taken one hell of a detour, but she was about to be his forever. In all of his wildest dreams, he had never once imagined that he would ever meet someone as perfect for him as Amanda. He didn't think it was possible to be this happy.

Fergus and Amanda stopped inches away from the dais. "Who gives this woman away?" The Revered Mother asked.

"I do," Fergus replied and the Revered Mother nodded.

Fergus leaned in, kissed Amanda's cheek, "I love you, Jinx."

Amanda smiled, "I love you too, Fergus."

Fergus then placed her hand in Alistair's. He paused as he looked directly into Alistair's eyes, "I am entrusting you with the person that I hold most dear. Take good care of her."

Alistair never wavered, "I give you my word Fergus, I will protect her, love her and care for her until I breathe my last breath." Fergus nodded and took a seat as Alistair led Amanda up the stairs to stand in front of the Revered Mother.

The Revered Mother read from the chant of light. She talked about the bond between a husband and wife, but Alistair didn't hear a word of what she said. He was only focused on the incredibly beautiful woman who was about to become his wife.

"Alistair and Amanda have written their own vows. Alistair?"

Alistair turned to Amanda, took her hands in his and smiled warmly at her. "Mandy, you have six hundred different smiles and I have memorized each and every one of them. They can light up my life, they can put a song in my heart, make me laugh out loud or cry with joy… and Love, that's just your smile. Don't get me started on your swordplay." He paused as the crowd laughed. "It's a million little things like that, when you add it all up, I knew it meant we are supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I touched you, the first time our lips met. It was like coming home, but unlike any home I'd ever known and I knew I couldn't live without you. There isn't another soul on this planet whose made me half the person I am when I'm with you... I'm forever changed because of who you are, because of what you mean to me and because of your love. Amanda Cousland, I promise from this day forward, to love you through sickness and health, through the good and the bad, for richer and poorer. I promise to give you my all and I know that I could not ask for more from you. I love you and always will. This is my solemn vow."

The Reverend Mother smiled and shook her head. "You are full of surprise."  
Tears shimmered in Amanda's eyes and as one slipped out and rolled down her cheek, Alistair reached up and wiped it away.

The Reverend Mother turned to Amanda, "Amanda?"

She took a deep breath and Alistair gently squeezed her hand to encourage her. She smiled and looked up into his eyes. "They say the best kind of love shakes us to our core, weakens our souls, makes us want to reach for more, sets our hearts on fire, but still manages to bring peace to our minds. Alistair that is what you have done for me. In your eyes, I have found my home. In your heart, I have found my love. In your soul, I have found my mate. With you, I am whole, and alive. You make me laugh. You let me cry. You are my breath, my every heartbeat. Alistair, from this day forward, I am yours. You are mine. You are lodged in my heart. The small key is lost. You must stay there forever."

Alistair couldn't hold back the overwhelming emotions that rose up in him. He pulled her into his loving embrace as his lips crashed down on hers and the crowd cheered.

"Now, now your Majesty. We haven't come to that part yet," the Reverend Mother said.

Alistair reluctantly relinquished his lips from hers. "Alistair, do you have the rings?" Alistair nodded as Anders handed both rings to him and Alistair handed them to the Reverend Mother. She blessed the rings and then handed Amanda's ring to Alistair.

Alistair took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it, "Amanda, I give you this as a symbol of my love for you, my faith in our strength together, and my promise to never stop learning or growing with you. As this ring has no beginning and no end, it symbolizes that the love between us will never cease. As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am and all I ever hope to be."

Amanda looked at the ring and then into Alistair's eyes, "My Love, I will wear this ring forever as a sign of my commitment to you and the desire I have in my heart for you."

Amanda repeated the vows to Alistair as she placed the ring on his finger. The Reverend Mother smiled, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. _**Now Alistair**_, you may kiss your bride."

Once again, Alistair pulled her into his arms as his lips found hers and for a moment the world slipped away as his mouth tasted her soft, sweet lips. The Reverend Mother coughed, slightly uncomfortable and again Alistair begrudgingly surrendered his claim on her mouth. "Lords and Ladies, may I present to you Alistair and Amanda Theirin, the King and Princess Consort of Ferelden." A thunderous applause went up as the husband and wife made their way back down the aisle.

The reception seemed to go on for days and the only thing that Alistair wanted was to get Amanda back to their bed chamber and be alone with her. The band finished the song and then announced, "Alistair and Amanda, will grace us with one last dance before they take their leave. Please welcome your King and Queen to the dance floor one last time."

Alistair took her hand, led her to the dance floor and pulled her into his arms. He looked down at the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. She was everything he had ever wanted or needed and she was finally his. For the first time in a long time, there was no guilt as he held her tightly to him. "From the moment you walked down that aisle, I've been picturing all the things I want to do to you when we get back to our room," Alistair whispered in her ear and he felt the tremor that coursed down her back.

"Do tell, Sire," she purred against his neck.

Alistair pulled her tighter against him, "Why don't you tell me what you want me to do to you?"

She grinned up at him, "You started this, Alistair. You go first."

He kissed his way down her neck before he whispered, "Do you want me to kiss you slowly, tenderly or passionately, hungrily?"

She gently bit his earlobe. "Does that answer your question?"

"Passionately it is then. Now it's your turn."

"Enough games, Alistair, I plan on throwing you down on the bed and have you watch while I slowly, seductively tease you while I remove this dress. I want to see you grow hard while I painstakingly slide off my breast band and panties. I want your hand to grip yourself as my hand dips between my legs…"

"Oh… fuck Amanda," Alistair groaned as his imagination took over, he pictured his lips and hands exploring every inch of her as he delighted in her sweet taste and smell.

He grabbed her hand, stepped toward the dais. The band immediately stopped playing as Alistair moved onto the first step. "Amanda and I want to thank you for sharing this very special day with us. It means so much to have you here as we start our new lives together. However, I do believe it's time for me and my lovely bride to take our leave. There is plenty of wine and ale, so please continue to enjoy the celebration."

To everyone's delight, Alistair scooped Amanda into his arms, walked out of the grand hall and headed for the royal bed chamber. He carried her over the threshold and she giggled at the sight before her. The room was aglow with hundreds of candles and the scent of roses filled the air as rose petals were scattered throughout the room and on the bed.

"Leli was a very busy girl," Amanda said as Alistair sat her down on the bed and passionately kissed his stunningly gorgeous new bride. His tongue slid along her lip to gently part her mouth as his tongue slipped inside, to dance and twirl with hers. His hand slid up her back and began to undo the laces on her dress, but she stopped him then kissed his lips.

"Wait," she said as she slipped off the bed and seductively swayed her hips as she took a few steps back. "I do believe, I promised you a show." She said as her hand slid around and finished untying the laces. The dress slid off her body and she nimbly stepped out of it.

Her body began to sway back and forth as her hands glided across her stomach to her breasts then back down to the apex between her legs. Alistair was instantly hard. Her hands slid back and she removed her lacy breast band. She gave Alistair a wicked grin as she cupped her breast and pinched her nipple. Alistair was immediately off the bed; he came up behind her, pushed her hair aside and breathed her in as his lips caressed the nape of her neck then her delicate shoulders, down to her shoulder blades. His tongue swirled and kissed a path down the center to the small of her back. He ran his hands up and down the outer part of her legs and then caressed the inner part of her thighs before he pulled her panties down. He smiled at her flawless bottom. "Perfection," he moaned as he kissed her perfect buttocks and blazed a path back up.

He kissed the nape of her neck again as he reached around and gently palmed one of her warm, soft breasts as his thumb stroked the taut nipple. She pressed her naked bottom against his rock hard erection and through his pants, his cock grew even harder at the thought of her rubbing her supple ass against him. He continued to stroke, caress and pinch her breasts until her body was nearly limp against his. His name fell from her lips like the chorus of a thousand angels and he smiled.

"Do you like this?" He whispered.

"Oh Alistair, yess," she moaned as she trembled against him and pressed her bottom against his already painful hard-on.

"Tell me what else you want me to do, Mandy," Alistair groaned into her ear just before he captured the lobe between his teeth.

She reached around, grabbed his cock through his pants and stroked him as she growled, "L-lower. T-touch me, lower." His hips bucked involuntarily against her.  
He moved his hand down her toned stomach; top of her curls, to her rosy pink flesh. His hand rested there without moving, and his breath hitched in his chest. Oh, sweet Andraste, she was so incredibly wet. At his hesitation, she pushed her hips against his hand. He laughed again. "Patience, my sweet," he whispered as he slid his finger inside her. She tightened her core around him as her head fell back against his chest, he groaned as he paused to collect himself.

His lips caressed her shoulders and neck as he slowly pushed another finger inside her. "Maker, you are dripping wet, Love. How did that happen?" He chuckled in her ear as his fingers thrust in and out of her. He pulled out his fingers that were now wet and glistening and rubbed the now throbbing pearl. She bucked against his hand and moaned as he stroked and caressed her, increasing the speed and pressure as she pressed against his hand. He slid his fingers back inside her and curled them so that with each stroke he hit that luscious sweet spot of hers.

Her body stiffened, he felt her inner muscles clamp down around him. "Ohh… A-alistair… Maker… yessss!"

"Cum for me, love." Alistair demanded as he pressed her harder against him, his hand rapidly gliding in and out, his thumb stroking her while his other hand pinched, tugged and pulled at her nipples, all the sensations together sent her over the edge. She cried out as her body went stiff and her inner muscles contracted around his fingers. Her head fell back against his chest as her body writhed against him.

When she had returned to her senses Alistair spun her around, scooped her into his arms and laid her down on the bed. He quickly undressed, then his body covered hers as he kissed her tenderly, his fingers combing slowly through her hair. Oh Maker, he loved this woman. He kissed a path to her neck. When he found her pulse point, he nipped at her with his teeth, evoking a moan of desire from her. Maker, he loved this woman more than life itself and nothing pleased him more than giving her pleasure. He cupped her breast as his thumb circled the hard nipple, he gently pinched the taut nub and heard her gasp. He claimed her mouth again, his tongue caressing as his hand stroked her breast. Amanda moaned with pleasure as he teased her nipple, causing her to arch against him.

His lips brushed her ear as he kissed his way down her neck to her breasts. His mouth teased and pulled at her nipples, rolling them between his teeth so tenderly as he repeatedly sucked her into his mouth, his tongue flicking and circling the orbs as she ran her fingers through his hair and gripped his head, moaning and writhing under his touch.

Alistair kissed his way down her stomach, to her navel and licked tiny exciting circles around it. He worked his way down between her legs as he kissed slowly and lovingly down one leg and back up the other. He paused at the union of her parted legs as he breathed in her delectable scent. The pink blush of her parted folds enticed him to sample the sweetness of the dew that glistened so temptingly.  
Amanda moaned with anticipation as he lifted her legs and hooked them over his shoulders while edging closer, his eyes savoring the sight of her dewy center as he once again breathed in the scent of her arousal. His tongue flicked swiftly, sampling the sweet nectar…that was there for him…because of him.

He smiled as her body arched in anticipation to his delicate touch. He kissed the lips of her womanhood tenderly at first, and his hot breath against her, caused a moan to rip from the back of her throat. Then slowly, teasingly, his tongue traced the velvet contours of her moist folds as she squirmed against his lips.

"Maker, so delicious… just… mmm…" he murmured as his lips covered her shimmering pink skin. Alistair's tongue swept over her hot center, darting in and out of her before he moved up to her swollen nub, and then repeated the same movement all over again.

"Oh fuck…Ali," she moaned.

Alistair smiled as she dug her heels into his back to pull him closer as his tongue continued to lick, twirl, and suck at her, coaxing her closer and closer to the edge. He brought his fingers up and slid them into her hot center, and then pulled them out again.

Her soft low moans filled the night air as she arched upward, her fingers twisted in his blond hair as he delved ever deeper, searching for those secret places. Slowly, almost reverently, his tongue brushed lightly across the swollen nub and her legs twitched about him. He closed his lips over the tiny pearl as he began to suck and tease her to fruition. He was ravenous for the taste of her and he just couldn't get enough of her. Her legs quivered as she tore at his hair with hands pulling, guiding him in the throes of her ecstasy until she cried out in sheer bliss and he drank her in, relishing in her taste and was intoxicated by her.

He kissed his way back up her body, savoring the feel of her skin on his lips and tongue. Then her hands captured his face to pull his mouth to hers and kissed him ravenously. He settled his body against hers, hips fitting perfectly within her thighs, his raging erection pressed firmly against her hot, wet center. He moaned into her mouth as the fervent kiss grew even deeper, and he began to rock against her. Amanda slid her hand down between them, grasped his length, she lifted her hips as she guided him into her. She let out a deep moan of satisfaction as he slid deep into her. Maker, she felt gloriously tight and wet. Alistair paused for a moment to compose himself.

This was their wedding night; he wanted to make this last, savor the feeling of her hot core wrapped around him, but seeing her writhing beneath him sent an urgent hunger coursing through him. Alistair began to move with a gentle rocking motion, he shuttered as he glided in and out of her slick walls. The friction was nearly deliciously unbearable, but he didn't want to rush this. He wanted to draw this out for both of them, so he slowly moved within her in smooth strokes as the tension built between them. Her hips pressed up to meet his strides and she moaned as she picked up the pace, her hips lifting and falling as she pulled him deeper into her.

Everything slowed down as he focused on the beautiful woman beneath him. It all came down to her… it would always only be her… forever just her. She arched her back as he gripped her hips and thrust into her, burying himself completely. She cried out with pleasure as she bucked against him and he slowly drew out and then slid deep inside her again. He did this over and over again and the feel of her amazing hot center was quickly propelling him toward the point of no return.

Amanda's nails racked across his back… pleasure… pain seared through him and he drove into her, harder and faster. Alistair moaned her name over and over again as he worshiped her with his body. He watched fascinated as she quivered against him, calling out his name over and over again. His body blazed with fire and she was the flame that burned him, consumed him. Alistair slid his fingers between them, the tips stroking the throbbing nub, she cried out as her back arched, her fingernails clawing at his back. He pulled his head back in order to watch her go over the edge. Damn…she was breathtaking. Her walls quaked and tightened around him, he ground his teeth together, waiting until he knew she had reached her full release before he let go. His growl was loud, feral as his orgasm crashed down on him, his vision blurred as his head spun out of control as he spilled into her hot center.

Alistair collapsed against her, burying his face in her neck, "I love you, Mandy."  
Her fingers threaded through his hair. "And I, you." She kissed his forehead.

"Would you like your wedding present now?" She cooed.

Alistair laughed. "That wasn't it."

"No silly, it wasn't."

"I already have all that I want here in my arms. What could you possibly give me that would make me happier than I am right now?"

She slid her finger underneath his chin so that he was forced to look into her eyes. "What if I gave you another child?"

Alistair blinked…. then he blinked again. "What?... How?...Maker!"

Amanda giggled. "I think we just demonstrated the 'how' part."

Alistair slid to her side, kissed her, then ran his hand down her neck to her stomach as his fingers circled around the small bump. Alistair bent over and kissed her stomach. "Hello little one, I can't wait to meet you."

"I love you, Alistair."

He looked at her and smiled. "You have made me happiest man in Thedas. There was a time that I doubted I would ever be happy again… that was when I thought you were dead. When I found out you were alive, I had hope and a reason to live once again. Amanda, I could lose everything tomorrow, but as long as I have you, Ellie and this little one…" Alistair leaned over and kissed her stomach again. "I can make it through anything. Together, Love, we can survive anything."

She smiled, took his hand in hers and kissed his palm. "Together, Love, we can do more than survive. Together, we change the world."

And of that, he had no doubt. With her at his side, he could do anything, accomplish anything, because she gave him the strength and confidence to move mountains, and together they would change the world.

**Epilogue**  
**Twenty one years later**

_Alistair immediately recognized that he was in the Fade. He looked around for Amanda, but didn't see her anywhere. He called out for her, but no one answered. She had to be here somewhere. They had entered the Deep Roads together, he saw her take the deadly blow from that Hurlock, but to ensure her death, he had thrown his dagger at her chest. He hit her dead center; she staggered back as the blood oozed out. She had looked up at him with gratitude just before she collapsed to the ground. He knew she had died. He knew the darkspawn couldn't bring her back, so she had to be here. Then he heard her before he saw her._

_"Alistair," Amanda called out from the hilltop._

_He raced toward her. When he reached her, she leapt into his arms, he kissed her over and over again."I was so worried when I didn't see you. I saw you go down, but…"_

_She pressed her lips to his mouth. Maker, she tasted just as good in the Fade as she had in real life. He could enjoy an eternity of this. His hands slid down her back as he grasped her firm bottom. She moaned slightly as she pulled back and smiled at him."This is my idea of paradise."_

_He laughed as he took her hand and began to walk across the meadow towards the forest."I was thinking the exact same thing."_

_"Do you know where we are going?"_

_"Nope, but this feels like the right direction."_

_"Alistair, you got lost in the Palace at least once a week. How would you know this is the right way?"_

_"Because of that bright light heading our way."_

_Amanda looked across the field at the now blinding light that was heading for them. Both of them covered their eyes the closer that it got to them. Their legs began to shake as some unseen force pressed in on them, eventually driving them to their knees. When the light stopped directly in front of them. Alistair could make out the outline of a very tall, muscular man._

_In a booming voice of the silhouette said, "Alistair and Amanda Theirin, I am so very pleased to finally meet you and tell you how very proud I am of the both of you."_

_"Who the hell are you?" Alistair asked._

_The shadow laughed warm and contagiously."You've taken my name in vain enough, I would have thought you would have recognized me."_

_Amanda's eyes widened."By the Maker," she muttered._

_"Yes, that would be me," the Maker replied._

_"Holy shi…wow," Alistair corrected._

_"Thank you for correcting yourself there," the Maker chuckled._

_"This isn't the Golden City is it? Because I really expected it to be more golden," Alistair asked as he looked around._

_"No, you are still in the Fade."_

_"Not that we aren't honored to have the Maker personally greet us, but isn't it usually family or friends that met you in the Fade, to guide you over," Amanda asked._

_"Yes, that is normally how it works, but I needed to meet you personally because I have an offer to make you and I can't make it once you cross from the Fade to the Golden City," the Maker stated._

_Amanda raised an eyebrow as Alistair said, "Are you going to make us an offer we can't refuse?"_

_The Maker laughed that contagious laugh again."No, nothing like that. You can refuse my offer, but if your hearts are as true as I believe them to be, I don't think you will."_

_"What is your offer?" Amanda asked._

_"In Ferelden, about twenty-three years from now, there will be another Blight. However, this time it will annihilate the entire nation and all of its people before crossing over the Frostback Mountains into Orlais."_

_"What? That's impossible. It's too soon," Alistair countered._

_"Well that is true, except for the fact that Amanda allowed the Architect to live. He deceived you when you made that deal with him and now he is gathering an army, the likes of which mankind has never seen. He must be stopped before they reach the Archdemon, and the two of you are the only ones with the knowledge, ability and honor to accomplish that."_

_"I don't understand how we are supposed to do that since we are dead," Amanda stated._

_"I would send the two of you back to be reborn."_

_"B-but what about us?" Alistair asked as he looked over at Amanda. "What would happen to us?"_

_"I have faith in your love. I believe that your love is true and therefore, it transcends time and space. The two of you would have to find your way back to each other, but once you found each other, your spirits would recognize one another."_

_"So let me get this straight. Either we take your offer, lose each other and our memories of who we were, and then try to find each other in a world populated by millions of people, all while trying to stop another Blight or we turn down your offer, live happily ever after together in the Golden City, but doom humanity," Alistair replied sarcastically._

_"Yes, that about sums it up," the Maker replied._

_"You would think this is a no brainer, but I'm really struggling with this," Alistair said as he grasped Amanda's hand. "I lost you once. I lived for years without you. I don't ever want to go through that again."_

_"Alistair, we will find each other. Our love isn't just for a lifetime, it's eternal, but we can't allow this to happen. This is my fault. I made the wrong decision and it may now destroy everything we know and love. Twenty years from now, Ellie and Ridge will still be alive… our future grandchildren… for them Love, we have to do this."_

_Alistair slowly nodded, he desperately pulled her into his arms, his lips claimed hers. He kissed her as if he was kissing her for the last time, and if the Maker was wrong and he didn't find her, he very well maybe. The air around them began to spin as a bright light illuminated around them, then everything went black._

**xxXxx**

Brayden Theirin pulled the hood of his travel cloak up as he waited in the shadows just outside the Palace walls. A stone slid away from the wall as a secret passage opened and his cousin emerged. "It's about bloody time, Brax. I've been freezing my arse off out here."

"Sorry, my mother made me practice this damn dance at least a hundred times for the Twelfth Night Celebration," Braxton replied.

Brayden chuckled as they made their way towards the market and Dirty Dick's Pub. "Well it might help if you didn't have two left feet. You are going to be the most clumsy king to ever sit on the Ferelden throne."

"I'm nimble when it counts…in the sparring ring," Braxton countered as he poked Brayden in the chest.

Brayden swatted his hand away, "Keep that up and we will be in the sparring ring tomorrow."

"So I heard your father telling my mother that he is in contract talks with Maclen Guerrin about you becoming betrothed to Helen."

"Not going to happen," Brayden replied.

"Why not? She is a pretty girl, little too thin for my taste, but she has a very pretty face," Braxton replied.

"I don't want to marry someone just because they have a pretty face. I want to marry someone because I love them, because I want to spend the rest of my life with them.

"Oh, what a hopeless romantic you are," Braxton chuckled as Brayden stopped just outside the Grey Warden compound. He looked up at the griffon engraved into the wood of the heavy doors. He had wanted to be a Grey Warden for as long as he could remember, but his father would never hear of it. _"You aren't about to throw your life away becoming a Warden. I lost my mother and father to the damn Wardens, I'm not about to lose my son to them too."_

Braxton threw his arm around his shoulder and pulled him along. "Keep dreaming, Bray, it's never going to happen."

Brayden and Braxton were on their second pitcher of ale when a group of Wardens came in and sat down at table near them and ordered several pitchers of ale. They were loud and boisterous as they recounted tales of their adventures. Brayden tried to ignore them but it was difficult to do when they were sitting at a table right next to him.

"Wyler, you missed it man," a large man with long brown hair states as he gulped down some ale. "On our way out of the Korcari Wilds, we stopped by this picturesque lake for lunch when we were attacked by this band of darkspawn. So there we were in this heated battle and we are just starting to get the upper hand when these two ogres come out of nowhere and charge directly into the middle of the skirmish. Without even hesitating, Tacy does this vertical leap, straight up in the air and buries her daggers in the beast's neck then as the bastard was going down she yanks the daggers out, jumps on the back of the second ogre, grabs it around the neck and slices its throat open. As it falls to the ground, she tucks, rolls, lands on her feet and declares, 'Sodding bastards ruined my lunch and there are no second lunches on the road'." Everyone roared with laughter.

It made Brayden yearn to be a part of such camaraderie while fighting for a noble cause. To be a part of something bigger than him. The door of the tavern swung open and the air was sucked out of Brayden's lungs as the most breathtaking girl he had ever seen walked in. Her long brunette curls swirled around her face and her emerald green eyes danced with rage as she looked around the pub. When her gaze fell on the Warden table, she marched over to them.

"Wyler, what is the meaning of this?" She exclaimed as she waved a piece of paper in her hand. Fury flickered across her beautiful face, making her look almost exotic.

"I do believe those are your orders to accompany me to Orzammar," Wyler said smoothly.

Her eyes narrowed as she focused her full attention on him. "I just got back from the Wilds and now you want me to head to Orzammar with you. That's bloody crazy?"

"Tacy, you know that while Tresean is in Weisshaupt, you fall under me," Wyler stated with a wicked grin.

Her eyes flared with renewed anger, but she reined it in as she leaned over the table and hissed. "The closest you will ever get to me being under you, is your wet dreams."

"It's only a matter of time, Kitten, and you will be begging to be under me," Wyler said coolly.

"Fuck you," she jeered as she spun on her heels to leave, but her foot slipped on some spilled ale, she lost her balance and fell into Brayden's lap.

The moment their bodies connect a current of electricity coursed through him, setting his body on fire as his nerves hummed with energy. She looked up into his eyes and his heart began to beat out of control. She had the most mesmerizing stare, but there was something so familiar about her that called out to him.

She smiled then scrambled out of his lap. "I'm so sorry. I lost my balance and…"

Brayden needed to touch her again, so he laid his hand on her arm as he spoke and the same powerful energy flowed through him again. He smiled back at her. "It's okay. Are you alright?"

"Oh yes…I'm fine." She looked down at his hand still on her arm. He didn't want to break the connection, but he reluctantly let go of her.

She smiled at him again and his heart nearly leapt out of his chest. She had the most radiant smile…like sunshine breaking through the clouds on a dark and dreary day. "I'm sorry again for falling on you."

Then she turned and walked out the door. Maker's breath, who was that girl? He had to know. There was no way he could just let her walk away from him. He threw several sovereigns on the table then ran after her and his destiny.

**A/N - **– I hope you enjoyed Amanda and Alistair's tale. At the end of this chapter I was particularly drawn to Tacy and Bray and I believe they have an interesting story to tell. I'm curious how many of you would be interested in hearing more of their story?

*A huge thank you to the betalicious Bonkzy for rocking her beta magic on this chapter. I appreciate your help, insight and your friendship.


	21. Chapter 21

**I wrote a one shot companion ****piece to The Count of Monte Antivo is a birthday present for my awesome friend Jinx. Here is the link. Enjoy! Remove the spaces. Ht tp:/www. /s/ 7642451/1/**


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